


A Stereotypical Tale

by Serade



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Camping, Come Swallowing, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Jock - Freeform, Light Bondage, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mental Health Issues, Moving In Together, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Parent Death, Past Child Abuse, Public Display of Affection, Romance, Self-Hatred, Sexual Identity, Skinny Dipping, Slow-ish burn, Slurs, Tutoring, Vulnerability, nerd, pride week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:34:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 47,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24807052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serade/pseuds/Serade
Summary: Laxus needs tutoring and Bickslow is a top student, but no matter how attractive Laxus is, he will not let the jock disrespect him. No one messes with Bickslow. If Laxus wants help, he will have to step up to the plate. After much back and forth, they end up far closer than either of them had ever intended and Laxus has to face emotions he tried hard for many years to ignore and deny. His father sure did not make it easier.
Relationships: Bickslow/Laxus Dreyar, Laxus Dreyar/Gajeel Redfox, Lucy Heartfilia/Levy McGarden
Comments: 10
Kudos: 40





	1. Awkward

**Author's Note:**

> Updated every Friday until 28 Aug. After that, every Saturday until the end of the story.

He had known Laxus for about a year. Well, to say he knew Laxus was an overstatement. He had never exchanged as much as a greeting with the guy. He knew about Laxus. Everyone at Fairy Tail did. Laxus was hard to miss. For one, he was huge. He stuck out of any crowd by a head and a bit. But he wasn’t just tall, he was broad too, and all muscle. And he was gorgeous.

Bickslow had admired him from afar many times. Sometimes Laxus caught him, their eyes meeting for a second over the heads of the other students, and it scared the shit out of Bickslow every time. Laxus was not a man whose eyes you wanted to meet, and especially not by accident.

His eyes. They were worthy of an essay of their own. They were the strangest orange colour, and there was a gleam in them. Or maybe it was the scar going across one of them that tricked the observer into thinking there was a gleam. Bickslow found himself imagining a lightning strike, eternally reflected in the intense corona. That was silly of course, but beyond doubt was the ferocity in Laxus’s eyes. If it was indeed possible to see the soul of a man through his eyes, then Laxus Dreyar was an eternal autumn gale.

Now those stormy eyes were staring right at Bickslow form across the room, and the man they belonged to did not look happy.

Bickslow worried for a moment that someone might have let it slip just what he thought of the muscular blond jock. But who would even know? Levy and Lucy, Gajeel and Juvia maybe, but certainly no one that had any reason to talk to, let alone gossip with the Fairy Tail quarterback. Bickslow's mind was racing. What might he have done to piss Laxus off? Maybe Laxus had noticed how Bickslow kept eyeing him? Maybe he was sick of it?

Laxus set off in his direction and Bickslow almost held his breath. This was it. Laxus was going to rip him in two. He contemplated fleeing the library before Laxus could get to him. Ducking around the chemistry section when Laxus passed the study desks would gain him an advantage, but outrunning the athlete was surely an impossibility no matter what strategy he employed. He had seen Laxus on the field. The man could run like lightning personified.

Praying that he was imagining all this, that Laxus wasn't actually headed for his table in particular, Bickslow looked down at his book. He wasn't reading it any more. He was intensely ogling the pages in an effort to look normal.

Catching a glimpse of the deep lilac fabric of Laxus's shirt in his peripheral vision, Bickslow tensed. Laxus did actually stop right by his table. Swallowing hard, he hoped that Laxus would go away, that contrary to all evidence this wasn't about him.

“Oy”, Laxus prompted.

Fuck. He sounded angry. Bickslow forced himself to look up at the huge figure looming over him.

“Yea?”

Shit, he sounded stupid. You could practically hear the nervousness in his voice.

Laxus pointed at him. “You're Bickslow?”

It took Bickslow a second to realise it was not a statement, but a question. And of course it was. Why the fuck would Laxus Dreyar know who he is? Bickslow felt incredibly dense. He nodded his head.

“Look, I uh…”, Laxus began. He rubbed a hand over his neck. “Ms. Strauss said you might be able to help me.”

Laxus had a hard time learning. It had always been this way, even in elementary school. He was good at sports, and popular for it, but he couldn't claim the same affinity with books. Now he was on the verge of failing, so their mathematics teacher had urged him to talk to Bickslow. The Bickslow. The honour student. The guy with perfect grades, several awards, and a full scholarship. The tutor with an exceptional track record. Laxus was pretty certain that Bickslow wouldn't sully that impressive record by taking on a stupid fuck like him as tutee, but he had been instructed to ask, so ask he did. Never let it be said that he didn’t try.

Standing here in front of Bickslow, Laxus felt downright silly. Whenever he heard the name Bickslow, he thought of the ghostly stick figures that roamed the library at night, but no, Bickslow was the tan tall guy he saw in the hallways sometimes. The guy with the soul piercing red eyes. The guy who had a freaking facial tattoo at nineteen. The supple man he found stretching in the gym every morning. Did this guy ever sleep? What the hell?

When Bickslow kept looking up at him with a blank expression, Laxus added, “With maths.”

Bickslow blinked slowly, as though Laxus was the single most idiotic thing he had ever laid eyes upon. He probably needed a moment to catch up with the sheer nerve of Laxus to even ask.

“Oh”, Bickslow said.

Palms sweating, Laxus rubbed his hand over his neck again before realising that it was the second time already. He must look so awkward right now. Fuck. But seriously, what kind of reaction was 'oh'?! Was it an 'oh' as in 'oh, how dare you bother me with this petty bullshit'? Or was it more of an 'oh' as in 'oh, I didn't realise you are that stupid'?

“Okay.”

Frowning down at the honour student, Laxus echoed, “Okay?”

Bickslow nodded a little, “Yea, okay. I mean, if you want me to.”

Laxus exhaled in relief. Thank fuck. He was saved. If Bickslow tutored him, there was no way he could fail. With this guy at his back, he would make it into senior year and be allowed to keep his spot on the team.

“Okay”, he repeated, his hand sneaking to his neck again. “So, should I come by tomorrow or…?”

“Sounds good. I'll be here at seven. Either here or over on the other side in the reading hall”, Bickslow nodded. He dug in his bag and handed his phone to Laxus. “Give me a way to contact you, in case I can’t make it.”

Laxus added his number to the contacts and then called himself, hanging up after one signal. Handing the phone back, he noticed the hint of a smile on Bickslow’s face. It bewildered him. Bickslow didn’t mind him as tutee at all? Maybe he didn’t know just how hopeless Laxus was. That must be it. It wouldn't last long.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then”, Bickslow said and he nodded.

“Okay.”

That was the third time. Laxus repressed the urge to facepalm himself and turned on his heel. On hurried feet, he left the library. First when he was under the clear sky, and more importantly out of Bickslow's sight, did his hand find his face. Fuck, he was an idiot. How awkward could a person be? He sure set the bar high.

He saved the number and pocketed his phone again. He took a deep breath. So what if it had been awkward? At least he could sleep in peace now, knowing that Bickslow was coming to his rescue. With that victory feathering his step, he headed for the sports area.


	2. Worth It

Bickslow was stunned that Laxus had actually asked him for tutoring. Sure, other students had asked before and he did help them, but the athletes never cared about school. It was running gag that their gridiron football team wouldn't be able to find the library unless you built a second gym in the back. Bickslow shook his head. Maybe he was being too judgemental. Maybe Laxus did care. Who knew?

Avoiding the quiet corners, he picked a desk near the doors where people generally chatted the most and started on his own homework. He wondered how much help Laxus would need. If Ms. Strauss had sent him that meant he had at least been forced to have a serious talk with her already. The evening was going to be interesting for sure.

At seven on the dot, Laxus strode into the library. He flopped into a chair and sighed. He was clearly less than eager. Bickslow didn’t blame him. Being tutored could be very stressful. He knew that. He offered Laxus a welcoming smile. 

“Hey. Ready to get started?”

“Sure”, Laxus responded. He eyed the notes laid out in front of Bickslow. “So? What are you going to teach me?”

Bickslow raised an eyebrow. Had Laxus never been tutored before? Maybe he hadn’t. That would explain why he was so tense. 

“You needed help with mathematics, right? So get your book out and…”

“I didn't bring it.”

Bickslow frowned at that. “You didn't bring your book?”

“I didn't know I would need it”, Laxus defended.

“Of course you need it if you are going to learn the material.”

Laxus shrugged. 

Picking his pen up, Bickslow shrugged back. “Well, I guess you will have to go get it then.”

“Are you serious?”

Bickslow eyed his tutee. Was Laxus pulling his leg? He honestly couldn't tell. Laxus shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked out the window. 

“Can't you just tell me what I need to know?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Bickslow gave him the benefit of the doubt and explained, “Because that's not how this works. I tutor. I don't lecture.”

“Tsk. Fine. I'll bring it tomorrow”, Laxus grumbled and got back up. 

Bickslow stared after him in disbelief. What the actual fuck was that? He still wasn’t sure if Laxus was playing with him. Was this some sort of prank? No. Laxus was way too serious for that. He did seem genuinely uncomfortable just now.

Having observed the three minute encounter, Levy and Lucy came over to Bickslow’s table.

“That was quick”, Levy commented.

“Yea”, Bickslow mumbled. 

He was still frowning deeply, trying to wrap his head around it. What exactly did Laxus think they were here to do? Bickslow was no teacher, and he had homework of his own to attend to. Laxus couldn’t really be expecting Bickslow to prepare lessons for him, could he? And who the hell didn’t realise that you might need to have your homework with you if you are going to work on it? It made no sense. What was his deal? 

“What happened?”, Lucy asked. 

“He didn't bring his books.”

“What?”, Levy sniggered. “Why the hell wouldn't he bring his books if he is looking to learn?”

“It doesn't seem like he is interested in learning anything”, Lucy said. She made no attempt to hide her distaste. 

“What can you expect? He's on the verge of failing. Not what I would call a dedicated student”, Levy agreed.

“He is certainly not that”, Bickslow chuckled. “Well, we'll see how tomorrow goes.”

Lucy and Levy exchanged meaning glances.

“What?”, Bickslow challenged. 

“You're still planning to tutor him?”, Levy asked. 

“Yea, I suppose”, Bickslow shrugged.

“Why? He clearly doesn’t care”, Lucy argued.

Bickslow shrugged again. He played with the pen in his hand. “I don't know.” 

Lucy gave him a long look. She didn’t need to say anything to communicate the question.

“I guess I thought I might get to know him like this”, Bickslow admitted. 

Levy shook her head. She leaned onto the table and nodded toward the door. “You know what I would do? I would tell him to suck it up and behave or get the fuck out. Let him get to know you for a start. I know you think he's hot, but he's not worth it. Don't suck up to him. Show him what's what. I mean, would you really even want to get to know some stupid jock that clearly doesn't respect you or your time?”

“Maybe you're right”, Bickslow sighed.

“I am right and you know it.”

Bickslow nodded a little at that. Yea, he did know that she had a point. He didn't really know why he had expected today to go any different than it did. Wishful thinking? Probably. 

Levy stood back and teased, “Good luck. You'll need it.” 

“Thanks. Very encouraging”, Bickslow sniggered. 

“Just don't let him intimidate you. If he tries anything, warn him that he will see me in his sleep”, Lucy jested.

Bickslow let out a loud snort and instantly clasped a hand over his mouth to avoid disturbing other students. He shook his head and watched the couple stroll back to their reading corner. Smiling, he turned back to his notes. 

The next day, Bickslow sat near the doors once more. Checking his watch for the third time, he was starting to wonder if Laxus had changed his mind. That idiot could at the very least let him know if he wasn't going to show up. That’s why they had exchanged numbers in the first place. Shaking his head, Bickslow chased the thought from his mind and focused on his own studies instead. He had to do some research for his next essay on the history of the Fiore. 

When Laxus finally strolled through the heavy oak doors, Bickslow only glanced up for a split second. Playtime was over. Either the jock behaved or he was out. Levy was right. He wasn't worth it. 

Laxus looked around and spotted his tutor in the same seat as the day before. Sighing, he sauntered across the room. Dropping his backpack and shrugging his coat off, he flopped into the chair that Bickslow had reserved for him and leaned back comfortably.

“So what now?”

Bickslow snapped his head up. “You're late. How about you apologise for a start?”

Laxus was startled at the anger. He was only about ten minutes late. Maybe twelve. 

“I'm sorry?”

Bickslow gave a little huff, a barely audible exhale of disapproval, before refocusing on the book in front of him. Laxus clenched his jaw. This nerd thought very highly of himself, didn’t he? Just because he had his name on some scoreboard that didn't make him any better than the rest of them. 

“What does it matter, anyway? It's not like you've got anywhere else to be, right?”, Laxus asked. 

The dark red eyes met him in the most soul torturing glare he had ever received. They pierced right through him. In his anger, Bickslow completely forgot any hint of fright that Laxus or any of the other athletes might have instilled on him over the years. No one talked down to him like that. Not even a fucking ridiculously handsome and popular jock, with his muscles threatening to escape his shirt. No! Bickslow had his pride and no fucking sex on legs was about to change that. 

“Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to, huh? Just because you're some god of sports doesn't mean your time is more valuable than that of everybody else. I am one of the best students in the entire school, fuck, the entire city. Do you really think I don't have better things to do than to help your sorry ass?”

Laxus tensed a little. He had no idea the honour student had such a mouth about himself. Combined with the angered frown on the man's forehead, it was a little intimidating. 

“Sorry”, he mumbled. 

Bickslow gave another huff, louder this time. Watching Bickslow refocus on his book, Laxus felt awfully uncomfortable in his chair. Shifting a little, he cleared his throat. 

“So? What do I do?”

Giving a tired sigh, Bickslow turned his head once more and forced a far too broad smile. “You study. Mathematics. You pick up your book. You read a chapter. You do the exercises. And when you get stuck, you ask.” 

Laxus was only mildly offended by the use of 'when' rather than 'if'. Nodding a little, he picked his bag off the ground and produced the thick calculus book. Who the hell decided to make a course book hard cover, honestly? It was fucking heavy. Opening it, he hunched forward and began to read. Or at least he tried to. 

“The absolute value, or magnitude, of a number x, denoted |x| (read “the absolute value of x”), is defined by…”

He didn't understand how Bickslow found it so easy to read that much. He was quick about it too. The same procedure repeated every few minutes. Bickslow flattened the page down, letting his eyes dart along the lines in a steady flow, all while he fumbled the next page between his index finger and thumb, and then he flipped the page again. Laxus was tired from just looking at the damn pages, and there were literally over a thousand of them. 

“How do you do it?”, he finally asked. 

Bickslow frowned back at him. “Do what?” 

If Laxus wanted help, he would have to be a little more specific. Bickslow knew he was good, but he had yet to master mind reading. 

Laxus vaguely motioned at the books on the table. “Read this stuff.”

“I just do”, Bickslow shrugged. “Why? What's the matter? Do you have reading difficulties?”

Laxus was pleasantly surprised that the nerd didn't ask as though he thought it disgracing. He just genuinely wondered. 

“No. It's just hard”, Laxus answered with the same sincerity. 

“You don't read a lot?”, Bickslow asked.

Laxus shook his head. “Never if I can avoid it.”

“You'll get used to it. The more you do it, the easier it gets.”

“Great”, Laxus sighed. 

That didn't make things the least bit easier right now. Bickslow didn't seem to think any more of it, going back to his own studies. Taking a deep breath, Laxus tried again. 

“The absolute value, or magnitude, of a number x, denoted |x| (read “the absolute value of x”), is defined by the formula  
|x| = {x if x ≥ 0, -x if x < 0”

“I don't get it”, Laxus grumbled. 

“Don't get what?”

“This.” He pointed at the sentence at the top of the page. 

Bickslow read it in about a quarter of the time it had taken Laxus and then sat back, inspecting Laxus with a thoughtful frown.

“Do you know what magnitude means?”, he asked. 

“Size?”, Laxus tried and he nodded, offering a little smile. 

“So. If x is greater than or equal to zero, it stays the same. If it smaller than zero, a negative number, you remove the minus sign. That is the absolute value, the number without a minus sign, the magnitude of the number rather than its value.”

“What's the point of that?”, Laxus frowned, still not quite sure that he understood the difference. 

“Just keep reading. They'll get to that.”

Laxus sighed again as he turned back to the text. It sucked so bad to have to do this. He just wanted to go outside already! It was a beautiful day and he was stuck in this dusty old library. Reading another line, he grumbled to himself. 

Bickslow slammed his own book shut and Laxus jerked back in surprise. He was about to open his mouth to give this nerd a piece of his mind for acting out like that without a fucking warning, but Bickslow was quicker. 

“Why are you here?”, he demanded. 

“What?”

“Why. Are. You. Here?” 

“Because I suck at maths. That's kinda obvious, isn't it?”, Laxus growled. 

Bickslow shook his head. “No. That's why you're not doing well in your mathematics class. I will repeat it one more time. Why are you actually here right now?”

Laxus shook his head. “I don't get what you mean.”

“Then leave.”

Laxus blinked back at the honour student. Bickslow leaned forward and locked eyes with him. Laxus tensed. He could swear Bickslow saw past his face, right into his very soul. The man’s gaze was piercing. And he was clearly angry. But why?

“I'm serious. I am not wasting my time tutoring someone that doesn't even know why. I'm not here to do your homework for you. You have to put in the work. You have to understand this. You are the one that has to learn. If you want to learn, I am more than willing to help you, but I am not going to pull your ear to get you there, and I am sure as hell not listening to your whining and sighing all evening. So answer the question or leave.” 

When Laxus did not move nor speak, Bickslow physically shooed him away with his hands. Clicking his tongue, Laxus took his book and stomped out of the library, much to the annoyance of everyone he passed on his way to the door. Shaking his head, Bickslow re-opened his book and sank back into its pages. Levy was right. He wasn't worth it.


	3. The Reason

Laxus was fuming when he stomped down the pavement. Who the fuck did Bickslow think he was?! Ex-fucking-cuse him for not being a nerd like that stuck up dick. Going to the gym, he got changed and warmed up before heading outside. After some speedy laps around the field, he was drenched in sweat and feeling so much better. Movement always took the edge off. Boxing was even better, but they didn’t have the equipment for in on campus. Breathing hard, Laxus looked up at the blue sky. It really was a beautiful day. Like hell he was going to let some fucking elitist bastard ruin it.

“Here already, Dreyar?!”

Laxus raised his hand to shield his eyes against the sun and spotted Markus at the benches. Trevor joined him and sat down to tie his shoes. Heading over to his teammates, Laxus grabbed his water bottle and drank greedily. Splashing some on his face, he hummed. Yea. Much better.

“I thought you had joined the ghosts”, Markus teased.

Laxus’s eyebrow twitched in irritation. He clicked his tongue.

“Woah. What happened there Man? You alright?”

“Bickslow is so fucking annoying”, Laxus grumbled.

Trevor burst out laughing. “You know he's…” He made a profane gesture, bringing his fist to his mouth and bulging his cheek out with his tongue. “Right?”

“What do you mean?”, Laxus frowned.

Trevor held his hands out to his sides in a sweeping gesture. “Really? He's a cocksucker.”

Markus snorted. “For real? Bickslow's a faggot?”

“Yea. You didn't know?”

“No shit. No wonder he hangs around those nerd dykes all day.”

Laxus tensed up. Could it really be? Bickslow of all people? Really? He always imagined that gay men were more… something. Flamboyant? Girly? More obviously rainbows. Bickslow dressed in a rather understated manner, often sitting in simple slacks and a pullover, and he spoke firmly. He had a gaze that could make you shrink together in your chair. No way. Then again, he did wear nail polish.

Trevor nudged Laxus and teased, “Just don't let him get too close. He’s gotta be desperate after all those nights in the library.”

“I bet he’s a virgin”, Markus laughed.

Laxus huffed. “Yea, whatever. He's smart at least.”

“Pfft. Do you have a crush?”, Trevor grinned.

Laxus reeled back. “No! Eow!” He pushed Trevor. “Maybe you do, hah?”

“Oh yea. Totally.”

Laxus shook his head and chuckled. Sitting down, he tugged at the laces of his shoes. Bickslow or no, he still needed to figure out how to get his homework done. It felt good to run the frustration off, but he had to get home and give it a try. Sighing, he looked out over the green field. He didn’t want to loose this. He couldn't loose this.

  
  


Laxus tapped his foot in agitation while their homework was handed out. When Ms. Strauss came to his table, she gave him a disappointed look and Laxus forced himself not to let his head fall.

“Stay after class”, she said softly and he nodded.

He didn’t even look at the grade. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t good enough. Fucking shit. Once Ms. Strauss had handed out all the papers, she dismissed them, but Laxus stayed in his seat. Markus shook his hand like it had been burned when walking past. Laxus gave him the middle finger in response and he chuckled. Once they were alone in the classroom, Ms. Strauss sat down next to Laxus and offered him a sympathetic smile.

“That bad?”, Laxus asked.

“I know you are trying, Laxus”, Ms. Strauss offered. “Did you talk to Bickslow as I suggested?”

Laxus rested his hand on the paper, still refusing to turn it over and look. He nodded.

“Good. That’s good. Here is what I will do for you, Laxus. I am going to give you an assignment for extra credit. You do that, and keep working with Bickslow, get your results up for the remainder of the year, and you will pass. I see you trying, so I am willing to give you extra credit, but you have to show me some results.”

“I understand.”

Smiling, Ms. Strauss placed a hand on his shoulder. “It will be okay. You’ll see. Just keep trying.”

She got up and handed him a paper from her folder. “You have until Monday.”

Accepting the assignment, Laxus left. Standing in the hallway, he glanced at the grade. It was beyond a fail. It wasn’t shit. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. Looking at the assignment next, he realised it had something to do with the recent chapter, but the only thing that allowed him to make the connection was the familiar picture of an arch. ‘Curve’, he reminded himself. He was so fucked. He had little choice. If he wanted to play, he had to pass. He groaned and stashed the papers into his backpack.

Laxus was so fucking tense when he left the main building. He headed past the gym and the field before finally coming to a halt. Taking a deep breath, he took heart. Here goes nothing. He walked into the library and looked around. To his great relief, he found Bickslow sitting at one of the tables in the front. Walking up to the man, he cleared his throat. Bickslow put his pen aside and looked up at him expectantly. Bickslow looked so damn sure of himself. Annoying. Whatever. Laxus needed his help.

“I'm here because I need to pass so I can stay on the team.”

“Great for you”, Bickslow responded.

Laxus felt a jab in his chest. He swallowed hard. “Bickslow, help me. I'll do my best, I swear.”

“Then stop being a whiffle-whaffle and get to work”, Bickslow said, picking his pen back up.

“A what?”

Bickslow didn't answer. He simply snapped his fingers and pointed down at the desk.

“Right right”, Laxus nodded.

He sat down and grabbed the assignment from his backpack. There was hope!

He read the first question and frowned. He glanced at Bickslow. Would Bickslow be annoyed if he asked something after a single minute? But that’s why he was here, right? To ask questions? He just didn’t want Bickslow to drop him again. He couldn’t afford it. Noticing his glance, Bickslow looked up.

“What?”

“I don’t get it”, Laxus said almost apologetically.

Bickslow looked at the paper and then at him. “What part?”

“I don’t even know what this means”, Laxus admitted.

Bickslow nodded. “What part?”, he repeated.

“All of it.”

Bickslow shook his head. “You can read”, he stated.

Laxus grumbled.

“I’m not mocking you”, Bickslow ensured him. “What I’m saying is, there must be some word or expression that confuses you. It’s not all of it. You know what the rest of the words in those sentences are. So identify what you do not understand.”

Laxus read the assignment again. “I get what they are asking, but I don’t know how to even start.”

“It’s about population growth, right? Where have you seen that before?”, Bickslow prompted.

“Chapter five.”

“Good. So re-read it and see if you find something that could help”, Bickslow smiled.

He returned his attention to his own exercises and Laxus nodded to himself. Right. Bickslow had made it abundantly clear that he wasn’t here to do Laxus’s homework for him. Grabbing his book, Laxus opened it and searched for a clue.

Bickslow was honestly impressed with Laxus’s effort. He wasn’t messing around any more. He was sitting still, reading, really trying, and most importantly, he wasn’t whining about it. He asked questions when he needed to, listened attentively, and did what Bickslow told him to. He seemed to get the hang of finding key words and searching for clues rather quickly. What remained were occasional nudges in the right direction and checking the answers to point out mistakes. This is what Bickslow could do to really help. He was glad Laxus had come around.

Glancing over at Laxus, he smiled a little. He was maybe a little too happy about it. Laxus was gorgeous any day of the year, but sitting here, so close, and so deeply focused, he was incredible. Bickslow had to admit he enjoyed the view a lot. Laxus Dreyar was leaning onto the table so close to him their elbows almost touched. Today was a very good day. Distracted from his work, a yawn overcame Bickslow and he stretched.

“Ufh. I’m beat. I’m going home.”

Laxus looked up. “Already?”

Bickslow raised an eyebrow. “It’s past nine.”

Laxus glanced at the screen of his phone. Shit. It really was. He clenched his jaw and tried hard not to sigh aloud, not to annoy Bickslow again.

“What’s the matter?”, Bickslow wondered.

Laxus shook his head. “Nothing. I just have to hand this in on Monday. And… well, I know I can’t do it on my own.”

“Come by my place on Sunday then. I’ll help you out.”

“You would do that?”

“Of course.”

Laxus looked back at him wide eyed, like he had said something world changing. Bickslow shook his head in amusement.

“You are a zounderkite.”

“You have the weirdest fucking insults. What does that even mean?”

“It means you're an idiot”, Bickslow said.

“I still can't tell if that's the translation or if you're just calling me an idiot to top it off”, Laxus jested.

Bickslow smirked and closed his book. “You'll never know.”

“I can find a dictionary.”

“I doubt it.”

“Oy!”, Laxus laughed.

Packing up, Bickslow stood. “I’ll text you the address.”

“Right. See you.”


	4. Try

Laxus double checked the address when he stood at the door. He had never been in a neighbourhood this squalid before. He had passed through of course, grabbed a good wrap at one of the authentic street kitchens, but he had never visited anyone who lived in a place like this. When the surprise passed, he remembered Bickslow was on a scholarship. Finding the right name on the door, he rung the bell. The door buzzed and clicked a moment later and he walked inside. Up the stairs and to the right, he found the apartment 10B. There were signs of a break-in. The door frame was damaged right around the lock. Frowning, he knocked.

“It’s open!”

Laxus tentatively opened the door and headed inside. It was a small space. The entryway was just big enough for a shoe rack and a hanger. Closing the door behind himself and turning the lock, Laxus hung his coat and slipped out of his shoes. Walking further into the apartment, he found Bickslow sitting on a couch with a textbook and a tape highlighter in hand.

“Hey.”

“Hush”, Bickslow scolded.

Laxus stood in the middle of the room awkwardly. Bickslow didn't seem to notice or care. He was focused on his reading. Laxus looked around the room. The apartment was modest. One room with a kitchen corner, and what looked like the bathroom in the back. Laxus scanned for another door but found none. Did Bickslow sleep on that couch? It was tiny and positively ancient. There wasn't much else to brag about in here, either. A dresser. A sturdy but tiny table with a single chair. A cheap bookshelf filled to the brim with notebooks and boxes. A stack of library books on the floor. A battered old travel bag in the corner.

“So you live here on your own?”

“Shut up. Sit down. Drink some water. Whatever. But shut up”, Bickslow instructed flatly.

Raising and eyebrow at his tutor, Laxus grumbled a little. “No wonder you can't get laid.”

There was no answer.

Sighing, Laxus did as suggested and poured himself a glass of water. Sitting down at the table, he watched Bickslow work. He did look pretty cool when he was in his element. The dark red eyes were usually intense, but that was nothing compared to right now. Laxus was almost convinced that Bickslow could literally look through anything that might get in his way while he was reading. Bickslow brought the highlighter tape down on the page a few times, and each time the tip of his tongue left his mouth, curling up against his lip. It was a peculiar tick. Kinda cute.

Laxus was snapped out of his thoughts when an alarm sounded. Bickslow picked his phone from his pocket and turned the alarm off before putting his book down in his school bag and getting up with a sigh. He stretched, cracked his joints, and finally looked over at Laxus.

“For your information, I get more ass in a week than you do in a lifetime.”

Laxus huffed a laugh. “What were you reading?”

“Homework. You know, the stuff you do to get a good grade and a scholarship.”

“Ha. Ha”, Laxus said irritably.

“Now for you”, Bickslow said, pointing at him. “Get to work.”

Nodding, Laxus picked his bag up. Bickslow was of immense help. Laxus made good progress with his guidance. When Laxus didn’t have any questions, Bickslow did some chores, washed the dishes, dusted. It was all very homey. Laxus felt oddly relaxed with Bickslow moving about in a calm pace. Eventually, Bickslow stopped and leaned against the table.

“Hungry? I know I am.”

“A little”, Laxus nodded.

“Let me cook something. Do you have any allergies or food preferences?”

Laxus was astounded. Bickslow not only helped him with his homework on a Sunday, Bickslow was willing to cook for him. It didn’t seem right. It was too much.

“I could order us a pizza”, Laxus offered.

Bickslow’s face lit up. “Oh? I’d love that. I haven’t had pizza in forever.”

Glad he had found a way to give back, Laxus pulled his phone from his pocket. Seeing the clock, he realised it was already late afternoon. Shit. He was nowhere near done with the assignment. A piercing pain shot through his chest. His breathing quickened. No. No, no, not now! He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down, but it did nothing for him. Standing up, he turned away from Bickslow.

“Laxus? Are you alright?”

Laxus didn’t answer. His breathing was much too quick. He tried holding his breath instead, but that just made his breath hitch. Tears found their way down his cheeks. He cursed quietly. He was shaking. Shit. Not in front of Bickslow. How embarrassing. How fucking pathetic.

Bickslow took a hold of him and turned him around. Laxus's hands instinctively came up to cover his face, but instead of a fist flying toward him, Laxus was pulled into a tight hug and froze in place. Those dark red eyes pierced through him again, but this time there was something far more terrifying than anger in them. Care. Laxus squirmed in the tight embrace.

“It's okay”, Bickslow soothed.

Something snapped in Laxus's mind. He never wavered, and definitively never cried. He wasn't weak. He would never be weak. He broke down in tears.

Manoeuvring them to the couch, Bickslow eased down on it with Laxus in his arms. Feeling Laxus grab a hold of his pullover, he simply held the man tight against his chest. Laxus tucked his head against Bickslow’s neck and sobbed uncontrollably.

“It's okay. It's okay”, Bickslow repeated like a mantra.

Laxus woke with a start. His vision was blurry and his eyes burned. Everything around him smelled unfamiliar. The blanket was far too heavy. He sat up and looked around. The room was dim. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and identified his location. He was on Bickslow's couch, and a thick blanket had been draped over him. He looked around for Bickslow and found him curled up on the floor, a thick roll-out matters under him and a blue pillow tucked under his head. He utilised a jacket as blanket. Checking the time, Laxus realised it was past midnight. There was no point in trying to catch a bus now. Sighing, he lay back down.

He had really just cried himself to sleep in someone's arms. Not just anyone, either. Fucking Bickslow. The top of the school, perfectionist, elitist fucking honour student Bickslow. Then again, looking at Bickslow's apartment, the elitist part might have been a rumour. He was still a pain in the ass, though. Kind of. He was honestly surprisingly kind. He was so helpful, and that without any compensation. Why the fuck did he do that? Stupid.

Needing the bathroom, Laxus pulled the blanket off and shivered. How the hell was Bickslow not freezing?! Didn't they heat the house during the night? What the hell? Getting up, Laxus carefully placed the warm blanket down over the sleeping man. After returning from the bathroom, he lay back down on the couch and fell asleep again.

The next time Laxus woke up, it was because he was freezing. Pulling his coat over himself didn't help much and it was another two hours before any buses would start rolling. Sighing, he moved to the floor. Careful not to wake Bickslow, he pulled the blanket up and crept under it to sleep.

Bickslow yawned. Stretching, he bumped against something warm and opened his eyes. Laxus was lying right beside him on the little mattress, his blanket draped over the both of them. A smile crept onto Bickslow's face. Laxus was pretty cute like that, calm and relaxed, breathing easy and his hair a little ruffled. All the fierceness of the gym rat was washed away. While Bickslow found that aggressive shell immensely attractive, this soft side was far better.

Bickslow's alarm rung and Laxus woke with a jerk. Bickslow grabbed his phone to silence it and then smiled at the man at his side.

“Good morning.”

“Mm”, Laxus complained. Stretching his back, he groaned. “Do you sleep on the floor all the time?”

“Where else? It's better for your back than the couch.”

“Fucking hell.”

Bickslow chuckled. “One gets used to it quicker than you'd imagine.”

“It was fucking cold tonight too”, Laxus grumbled while he rubbed his eyes.

Bickslow inspected him closely. He had never seen Laxus like this before. It was almost like they were friends all of a sudden. The tension was gone, the awkwardness forgotten. Everything just felt natural right now.

“Laxus?”

“What?”

“Why did you think I was going to hurt you yesterday?”

Laxus stared up at the ceiling. Whether it was solely to avoid Bickslow's gaze or because he had found a spot on the white canvas wasn't entirely clear. The usual aggression returned to his voice, though.

“I didn't.”

“Not consciously perhaps, but it was pretty clear”, Bickslow pushed.

When Laxus didn't say anything, he added, “It's okay if you don't want to talk about it.”

“Then I don't want to talk about it”, Laxus stated.

“Okay. Just know that I'm here for you if you ever do want to talk about it.”

“Why do you give a fuck?”, Laxus questioned irritably.

Bickslow frowned at him. The orange eyes were still glued to the ceiling above.

“Why wouldn't I?”, Bickslow asked.

“You don't even know me.”

“Then let me get to know you.”

“Do what you want”, Laxus huffed.

Bickslow sniggered. “You'll regret saying that.”

“Whatever.”

Silence fell once more and Bickslow looked up at the ceiling as well, trying to determine if there really was a discolouration or bump to be found. After a while, Laxus glanced over at him.

“I'm not scared of you if that's what you're thinking.”

Bickslow met his eyes. “I wouldn't expect you to be, but that's good to have confirmed.”

They lay on the ground like that for a long moment, eyes locked and silence enveloping their world.

“Shouldn't you get to school?”, Laxus finally asked.

“Shouldn't you?”, Bickslow countered.

“Not like it matters any more.”

“What do you mean?”

Laxus shrugged and once more focused his gaze to the stretch of boring white. “It was a stupid idea to ask you from the start. There is no way I can catch up before the exams start.”

Bickslow inspected his guest for a moment before shrugging as well. “Fair enough.”

Laxus sighed in defeat.

“I mean, you haven't gotten any decent results until now. You're waaay behind”, Bickslow elaborated. “Pretty fucked situation to be in. You should have started this effort months ago if you wanted a fair chance at passing. Studying a year's worth of material isn't something that's done overnight. You fucked up.”

“Okay! I got it!”, Laxus barked.

“You're really going to give up that easily?”, Bickslow challenged.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? You said it yourself, I can't…”, Laxus began, but he was interrupted.

“I didn't say it couldn't be done.”

Bickslow met his eyes again and Laxus saw the same determined focus on his face as the day before when he had been studying on the couch.

“You have several months to prepare. You have an understanding teacher who will give you extra credit. You have the material. You know what they are going to test you on. You might not score an A, but you can pass if you put your mind to it.”

“You don't know that”, Laxus protested.

“And you don't know that you can't.”

Laxus scoffed. He turned his head away, but Bickslow wasn't done. He tugged the blanket out of the way and straddled Laxus's hips, forcing Laxus to face him.

“You're scared. You're scared of failing.”

“I already failed!”, Laxus barked.

He took a hold of Bickslow's arms to pry him down, but Bickslow turned his wrists and yanked, escaping Laxus's grip only to take a hold of his wrists instead and pin them down on either side of his head.

“You haven't even tried! If you fail now, it's easy to explain. You didn't try. Of course you would fail then. Just shrug it off. If you would actually try you might have to face a whole other truth. You might still not make it. You might try and fail and that scares the fuck out of you, doesn't it?!”

“Fuck you!”

Laxus mustered all of his strength, but Bickslow had him at a disadvantage. He couldn't get up.

“Let me go!”

“Escape”, Bickslow challenged.

“I can't, you fucking lunatic!”, Laxus roared.

“Then I guess you're stuck here.”

Enraged, Laxus kicked a knee up against Bickslow's body. It threw Bickslow off just long enough for Laxus to wrest an arm free and turn them around. Now above Bickslow, he got a hold of the man's wrists and held him down hard. Flaring his teeth, he growled at the defeated man.

“See?”, Bickslow smiled. “You can if you just try.”

“Fuck you! You're fucking insane!”, Laxus yelled before getting up, grabbing his bag, jacket, and shoes, and storming out.

Bickslow took a deep breath before inspecting his arms. Laxus's fingers were imprinted on his skin in bright red. That's what you get for meddling, isn't it? He might have taken the whole thing a little too personally. Bickslow sighed at himself. Just because he was combative with his own doubts, that didn’t give him the right to hold someone down against their will. Hardly his proudest moment. Bickslow rubbed a hand over his wrist and took a second to really let that sink in. Lesson learned.

Either way, he couldn't let Laxus's unwillingness to fight steer him off his own path. Getting up, he prepared the day in a hurry.


	5. Confusion

Bickslow was surprised when the doorbell rung in the evening. Pausing his study session, he got up to answer. Opening the apartment door, he peered along the hallway and waited. Of all the possible visitors he could imagine, Laxus was the least expected one. Was he still angry? Probably. Laxus didn’t even look up before he was right in front of Bickslow.

“What are you doing here?”, Bickslow asked.

Laxus held out a big shopping bag.

“What's that?”

“Just take it”, Laxus said.

Accepting the bag, Bickslow quickly steadied it with both hands. It was heavier than it looked when Laxus carried it. Peering inside, Bickslow spotted a small spacial heater. He looked up in surprise.

“Your place nearly freezes over in the night and it's spring. This should help some. It doesn't take much power, either”, Laxus explained.

It sounded a lot like a defensive speech.

“Thank you. I’ll make good use of it”, Bickslow smiled.

“I just didn't want to owe you is all”, Laxus huffed.

Again, way too defensive. Bickslow repressed a smirk.

“I take it the assignment was passed, then?”, he asked.

Laxus nodded. He felt doubly silly for having a freaking panic attack about it. It was good enough, but he had been so dramatic about it.

“Do you wanna come in?”, Bickslow offered.

“Aren't you studying?”

“Sure, but that's the prerogative of a nerd. We study so much that we can always afford a break.”

Shrugging, Laxus accepted the invitation. He watched Bickslow unpack his present. Plugging the heater in, Bickslow turned it on and held his hands out.

“Oh yes. This is perfect. Thank you.”

“What the hell is wrong with the radiators anyway?”, Laxus asked.

“Dunno. Too expensive to fix I suppose. It's not exactly a downtown flat. Every month someone complains about it and they promise to investigate the issue, but so far so bad.”

Bickslow rolled the sleeves of his pullover up and let the warm air rush over his skin with an enthusiastic smile. Laxus noticed the red marks on his wrists. Bickslow only ever tried to help him and this is how he returned the favour? He was such a dick.

“Did I hurt you?”

Bickslow looked down at his wrists as well. He was mildly surprised the marks were still visible.

“Just a little.”

“I'm sorry.”

Bickslow waved a hand dismissively. “Don't be. I provoked you. I’m the one who should apologise. I shouldn’t have acted that way.”

“Still.”

“It's fine”, Bickslow ensured.

Laxus wasn’t convinced. Walking over, he took a hold of Bickslow's arm and felt over the reddened skin. It was a little warm, but not swollen.

“Does it hurt?”

“No. Not any more.”

“Good”, Laxus nodded. “That's good.”

He looked up only to find the dark red eyes inspecting him with a new sense of curiosity. For once, it didn't seem like Bickslow could see through him. To the contrary. He looked confused. Laxus would consider this normal hadn't he also been confused at this very moment. Was that what Bickslow saw? His confusion? Or was it Bickslow's own?

Laxus stroked his thumb over the soft skin. Bickslow looked so cute like that. His head was tilted ever so little to the right, like a puppy. Bickslow shifted and Laxus shied back. He let go of Bickslow’s wrist, but the silky sensation lingered on this fingers. Bickslow kept watching him. Laxus didn’t dare to look up again. He was scared Bickslow would be able to tell, that he would be able to see it on Laxus somehow. How silly. Stupid.

“What are you planning to do now?”, Bickslow asked.

“Would you consider tutoring me again?”, Laxus returned the question.

“Of course”, Bickslow smiled. “Did you get a new assignment?”

“Yea.”

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow in the library.”

Laxus nodded. He headed back to the door and tied his shoes. He should never have come inside. Bickslow leaned against the wall beside him and he could practically feel Bickslow’s eyes on him. What was Bickslow thinking? It didn’t matter. No way he could tell. What a stupid thought to even have. Laxus grabbed his coat and opened the door.

“And Lax”, Bickslow stopped him.

Laxus froze and glanced over his shoulder. Bickslow gave him a meaning look. Laxus nearly forgot how to breathe.

“Don’t be late.”

Laxus exhaled. “I won’t be.”

Closing the door behind himself, he hurried down the stairs and out onto the street. He made it halfway to the bus stop before he caught himself rushing. What the hell was he doing?! He was in no hurry. Slowing down, he took a deep breath. Stupid.

Spring was ending and summer arriving. The weather left no doubt. It was an unbearably hot day when Bickslow decided they should study outside. Laxus found him in the shade of an apple tree. He had spread out a blanket and made himself comfortable. His back resting against the trunk of the tree, he had his knees drawn up and a book balancing on them. As per usual, nothing could disturb him. He didn’t even notice the bird searching for worms right beside him. Sometimes it was hard to believe Bickslow was an actual human being.

Crossing the lawn, Laxus inadvertently scared the bird away. He sat down and placed the carton he was carrying between them. Bickslow glanced down at it and then up at Laxus. A smile was threatening to creep onto his face, but he was waiting for confirmation.

“Yes, it’s for you. I never did buy you a pizza that Sunday.”

Grinning over both ears, Bickslow set his book aside and opened the box. He took one look at the contents and hummed in delight.

“You’re an angel.”

Laxus huffed a laugh. “Don’t get used to it.”

Setting his backpack down, he noticed how rough the blanket was to the touch. It was very pleasant, kinda rustic and homey. Lying down on his back, he rested his head on his bag and looked up at the leaves swaying in the wind. The breeze really helped. The library was bound to be boiling right now. Bickslow had life figured out, that much was clear.

“Did you bring the index cards?”, Bickslow asked around a mouthful of cheese and dough.

Reaching into his pocket, Laxus produced the stack. Taking the rubber band off and placing it around his wrist for the time being, he handed the cards over. Bickslow pushed the last of the crust into his mouth and wiped his hand on his trousers before picking the stack up. He shuffled the cards and read the first one before folding another slice of pizza in half and indulging in the fatty treat.

“What’s the absolute value?”

“The magnitude of a number.”

“Which means?”, Bickslow asked.

“How far it is from zero.”

Bickslow gave an approving hum.

“Explain exponential growth”, he prompted next, still chewing.

Laxus chuckled a little. He had never known Bickslow to be so sloppy. Pizza brought out the messy side in everyone.

“Growth where the rate of change is proportional to the size.”

“Which means?”

“If I have two, I will soon have four, then suddenly eight, and it only gets bigger faster.”

“The quadratic formula is...”

“B plus minus the square root of b squared minus four times a times c. The whole thing divided by two times a.”

“And it...”

“Gives me x in the origin.”

Nodding, Bickslow smirked. “You’re getting pretty good at this.”

“Thanks to you”, Laxus shrugged.

“I know my study technique is bomb, but don’t you dare sell yourself short”, Bickslow said.

“Seriously, Bix. I think I might actually be able to pass. This was unimaginable a few weeks ago. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

When Bickslow didn’t read the next question, Laxus glanced up. Bickslow was looking back at him with a soft smile on his lips.

“Look at you, having confidence”, he teased. “I think you will pass just fine.”

His head was tilted slightly to the side again. Looking up at him like this, against the backdrop of a blue sky and small oblong leaves, Laxus couldn't help but think he was sort of beautiful. He had such a kind face. The tattoo took some getting used to, but once you looked past it and noticed those soft eyes, all of Bickslow became so obviously tender. The tattoo only drew your attention to said eyes. It flattered him in an unexpected way. Bickslow licked his thumb for a trace of cheese and Laxus quickly averted his gaze. Shit. He could feel his cheeks heating. Sitting up, he tried to think of a way to hide it.

“What's wrong?”, Bickslow asked.

“Nothing.”

Laxus’s heart was beating so hard, he was sure Bickslow would be able to hear it soon, along with the rest of the yard. He couldn't focus on mathematics like this. Screw that. He could not blush in front Bickslow! He just couldn't. He stood and Bickslow frowned up at him.

“Are you feeling ill?”

Taking the excuse, Laxus nodded. “Probably the heat.”

“Drink plenty water and stay out of the sun”, Bickslow offered.

“I will”, Laxus agreed. He grabbed his bag and left.

Looking down at the stack of index cards, Bickslow frowned. He had experienced heat stroke before. It had dawned on him first when he sat down in the shade as well, but why was Laxus in such a hurry if he was feeling sick? What the hell had gotten into him? He wasn’t usually this skittish. Reaching into his bag, Bickslow took a new rubber band to keep the cards together.

Once the pizza was gone and Bickslow was done with his reading for the day, he packed up. After washing his hands in the library bathroom and recycling the pizza carton, he headed home. Walking along the football field, he noticed Laxus warming up along with the rest of his team. Frowning, Bickslow ducked under the bleachers and headed for the entrance. Laxus was clearly not suffering from the heat now. What was that about?

After the trill of a whistle, the players stopped and walked off the field to drink some water. Nearing the entrance from the other side, Bickslow reached into his pocket for the stack of index cards. Better give them back so Laxus could keep practising tonight.

“I don’t know how you do it. Bickslow is such a bore.”

Bickslow stopped in his tracks. He recognised that voice. Edward. He was on the student committee, and he was part of Laxus’s team. The leader, if Bickslow wasn’t mistaken. They had some untraditional assignments. Bickslow hesitated. He knew it wasn’t right to eavesdrop, but his curiosity got the better of him. He stayed in the shade, just shy of the gate.

“Seems you’re getting along well. I saw your little picnic”, Edward kept going.

“So what? He’s been tutoring me for weeks. I bought him a pizza”, Laxus defended.

“You like hanging out with that nerd? Isn’t he really stuck up?”

Laxus just grumbled in answer.

“Maybe you should ask him on a date”, Marcus teased.

“Like I'd want some faggot touching me”, Laxus scoffed and the men laughed heartedly.

Bickslow took a measured breath. He had half a mind to march in there and shove Laxus’s stupid cards up his ass. What good would that do, though? Turning on his heel, he walked away.

The following day, Bickslow waited patiently for Laxus to arrive in the library. When he did, Bickslow glanced over at his friends. Levy and Lucy gave him an encouraging nod. Keeping his eyes on his book, Bickslow firmly ignored the quarterback. He let the man walk all the way up to the table, but as soon as Laxus took a hold of the chair to pull it out, he grabbed the backrest as well to keep it in place.

“No”, he stated dryly.

“What?”, Laxus asked.

Meeting the orange eyes, Bickslow spoke calmly and firmly. “Piss off.”

“Excuse me?”, Laxus hissed.

“You fucking heard me. If you don't want a faggot touching you, you might as well avoid sitting next to one.”

Laxus swallowed hard. He deserved that one. He knew he did.

“Bickslow, I…”

“What part of ‘piss off’ didn’t you get?”

Laxus looked up to find Levy and Lucy standing nearby with their arms crossed over their chests. Backup. This was planned. Bickslow wasn’t just dropping him, Bickslow was making sure the entire school would know what he had done come morning. Laxus sighed. He turned back to Bickslow.

“I’m sorry.”

“Go fuck yourself”, Bickslow answered calmly.

He kept a mocking smile on his lips. When Laxus opened his mouth again, he shook his head. There was no point. Bickslow didn’t want to hear another word.

Lucy placed a hand on the table and leaned forward. She glared at Laxus like she was ready to jump across the chair and take him down.

“Take your fragile masculinity and find someone else to bother.”

Laxus let go of the chair and made to leave. Stopping shortly, he looked back at the honour student. Bickslow looked furious. It was far worse than that second day when Bickslow had scolded him for his disinterest. It wasn't just irritation or frustration with his attitude. This time he had hurt Bickslow.

“I'm really sorry.”

Bickslow huffed at the apology.

“Fuck you, you homophobe”, Levy spat.

Laxus could feel the eyes of the other students in the library burning in his back as he left.


	6. Fear

Laxus ordered another drink. Realising that fruity cocktails were the main attraction of this bar, he made an attempt to fit in and ordered one of the colourful concoctions. Sipping it, he raised his eyebrows. It was awfully sweet, but to his surprise that only made it all the more delicious. Who the hell had decided that fruity drinks were girly? They were awesome! Lifting the glass again, he glanced around. However good the drinks might be, he was far from comfortable in this place.

After Bickslow’s revenge, the entire school had him on their radar as a homophobe. Not that they were wrong, but it still hurt to think of himself that way. It wasn’t that he had anything against gay people. He just didn’t want to be confused with one. Shit, he just didn’t want to consider… he barely dared to think the thought.

Stealing a glance at the men sitting beside him at the bar, he swallowed hard. If he was completely honest, he already knew the answer to his unposed question. He wasn’t entirely sure why he had come here. Maybe he wanted to disprove it. Stupid. He was such an idiot. He felt a blush creeping to his cheeks.

The man sitting beside Laxus leaned closer to his companion. Running a hand over the man’s back, he smiled. Were they boyfriends? Maybe. Laxus tried to be subtle as he watched them. The man closest to him whispered something into the other’s ear and he laughed heartedly before coming even closer. Laxus quickly looked away. He took another gulp of the sweet drink. Daring another quick glance to the side, he found the men making out and felt the heat on his cheeks truly flare up. Getting out of his chair, he abandoned the drink.

Making his way toward the front of the club, he squeezed past numerous topless men. It was stuffy in the cellar rooms, but the men around him didn’t seem to mind. They stood close, really close. Hands ran along glistening sweaty skin, explored beards and chest hair, grabbed a hold of belts and harnesses. Some of the men danced. Some were grinding against another more than they were dancing. Others had given up on pretence and were making out heatedly against a wall. A few women were in the crowd as well, and they were just as shameless. The music was unbearably loud and the fog made it hard to keep your orientation. Laxus turned around and nearly bumped into someone. Realising who it was, he froze.

Bickslow was standing right in front of him, topless and sweaty. Colourful lights danced over his lean body and reflected in his eyes. The dark red eyes were wide in surprise for a split second before slimming in anger instead. Laxus felt a cold shower run down his back.

A broad and richly bearded man wrapped his arm around Bickslow. He was clearly drunk, leaning onto Bickslow like he might fall over otherwise. His upper body was only covered by a harness that crossed over his chest. Thick dark hair curled all over his broad chest, his round belly, and down his arms.

“Who’s this?”, the bearded man yelled.

Bickslow shook his head and smiled. “Just some fopdoodle.”

“What?”

Bickslow hooked a finger into the hairy man’s waistline and pulled him close.

“He's no one.”

Kissing the man deeply, Bickslow shot Laxus a biting glare. The lights flared up again and his eyeshadow shimmered.

Laxus fled. He shuffled past a group of people having shots and hurried to the stairs. Spotting a great variety of condoms for sale by the reception, his mind wandered to Bickslow and the man he was making out with at this very moment. Images flickered in his mind, of Bickslow’s lips parting, his back arching. His piercing red eyes and the shimmering makeup. His hands, fingers, how he slipped them past that man’s waistline. Laxus’s breathing was shallow and hurried. Giving his token to the receptionist, he waited impatiently.

The woman handed his coat over and frowned at him. “Are you alright, Honey?”

“Fine”, Laxus nodded.

He gathered the coat into his arms and stumbled outside. The cold air hit him in the face and he noticed just how sweaty he was. He rushed down the street and into the nearby park. Stopping under a lantern, he caught his breath. Fucking shit. He draped the coat around himself and shivered. It wasn’t that cold, but he was terrified. His heart was clenching in his chest. What the fuck should he do?! He almost considered going back in and asking, hell, begging Bickslow not to tell anyone that they met here, but what good would it do? Surely that would only add to the satisfaction of ripping him apart. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck! Laxus flopped down on the closest bench and hid his face in his hands. He was done for!

Laxus jerked when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

Looking up, he found a handful of men standing around him. All of them wore bold colours and no one had a jacket or a bag. The one who had caught Laxus’s attention had applied a fierce blue eyeliner which accentuated his face.

“Do you need help?”, he asked.

He was a slender figure, and young. He was maybe a few years older than Laxus. He seemed familiar. It was the man that had been sitting next to him at the bar, Laxus realised. He shook his head.

“You sure, Stud? Are you high? No judgement.”

Laxus just shook his head again. He coughed and rubbed a hand over his face. He realised his panic had ebbed away in the surprise. One of the other men handed him a bottle.

“Drink some water. It’ll help”, he offered.

Accepting the gesture, Laxus unscrewed the cap and drank greedily. Sighing, he closed the bottle again and handed it back. The hand on his shoulder rubbed back and forth a little.

“Do you want us to call someone?”

“No!”, Laxus said at once.

The man with blue eyeliner nodded in understanding. He still didn’t remove his hand. Laxus was honestly surprised that he dared to come so close. Laxus knew he looked mean. He had been told numerous times that he looked angry even when he wasn’t doing anything in particular. He wasn’t sure he himself would have walked up to someone like that, sitting alone in a park in the middle of the night.

“A cab then?”, one of the others suggested.

Laxus took a deep breath and cleared his throat. “Thanks, but I’m fine.”

“If you say so”, the man shrugged.

The guy with blue eyeliner smiled at him again and finally removed his hand. “Take care, yea? And if you need anything, the receptionist at The Box is a dime.”

So that’s why they were being so friendly. The man with the blue eyeliner had noticed Laxus in there as well. Nodding, Laxus thanked them again and they left.

Laxus watched the merry group walk away. They were chatting happily and holding hands in public. They didn’t seem to be afraid of anything. Laxus wrapped himself tighter in his coat. He felt over the fur. The soft sensation between his fingers soothed him. If only he could do something like that, hold his head high despite… He shook his head. Stupid. He should never have come here.


	7. Tears

Monday morning, Laxus again found Bickslow stretching in the gym when he came in for his morning exercises. After Laxus’s stupid comment, Bickslow had gone from greeting him to ignoring him. Now he did neither. He got up and walked past Laxus, leaving barely a centimetre of distance between them and looking right into Laxus’s eyes as he did so.

Laxus held his breath. Again, he considered asking for mercy. Before he could make up his mind, Trevor entered the gym as well. Getting started on his exercises, Laxus tried his best to seem normal.

All day, Laxus was tense and worried. At every turn, he expected it to start, but class after class, no one said a thing. Even during practice with the team, there wasn’t a single comment regarding his late night. Once he was dismissed from the field, he left campus and made his way past the park. Waiting on the curb, he wrung his hands.

Bickslow groaned when he spotted Laxus in front of his house. He walked right past and dug for his keys. Laxus jumped to his feet and hurried to his side before he had a chance to unlock the door.

“Can I talk to you for a second?”

Bickslow just glared at Laxus. He wasn't really sure if he wanted to ask what about or if he just wanted to tell this insincere asshole to fuck off already.

“Please”, Laxus tried.

Bickslow grumbled in defeat. “Fine. But only because I'm amazed you know that word.”

Laxus exhaled in relief.

“What do you want?”, Bickslow demanded.

“I wanted to thank you.”

Bickslow frowned at him, shaking his head a little to communicate his confusion.

“For not telling anyone”, Laxus added.

Bickslow sighed deeply and rolled his eyes. “What the hell were you doing there anyway? I thought you hated fags?”

“I don't.”

Bickslow gave him an unbelieving look.

“I don’t. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m so sorry. I…” Laxus hesitated. “You really can't tell anyone, okay? I was there because… I don't know. I might be…”

“Be what?”, Bickslow demanded.

“You know.”

Bickslow shook his head. He looked so disappointed. “If you can't even say the word…”

Laxus averted his eyes. He felt his cheeks heat up in shame. Or was it anger? Sadness? He didn't rightfully know what he was feeling any more, but he was trembling.

“Hey now, I won't tell anyone. I promise”, Bickslow offered.

His voice was suddenly even softer than usual. That brought Laxus over the edge. Tears welled from his eyes. He tried to stop it, to hide his face, burying it in his hands, but the tears just kept coming.

Taking pity on Laxus, Bickslow wrapped his arms around the broad shoulders. Startled by the embrace, Laxus's first instinct was to back away, to break free, but the warmth of Bickslow’s hug offered such intense comfort. Instead of pulling away, Laxus found himself leaning against the tall man.

“Come on”, Bickslow said softly.

Taking a firm hold of the shaking man, Bickslow led him inside. Laxus could feel his fingers trembling. His eyes burned. He couldn't explain it. It made no sense. What was he being so dramatic for now?

He let himself be urged down to sit on Bickslow's couch. He watched in bewilderment as the man he had offended so badly, had mistreated and disrespected, got some paper towels and offered them to him. Taking them, Laxus wiped his tears away and blew his nose.

“What are you so scared of?”, Bickslow asked.

Laxus frowned. Scared? Was he really? He must be. But what of? Good question. He had no reason to be scared now. Bickslow had promised not to tell. He was safe, wasn’t he? Except he wasn’t. He would never be.

“I don’t know. Everything.”

Bickslow ran a hand through Laxus’s hair and Laxus stared down at the floor. It felt odd to be petted like this, especially by Bickslow of all people. It was nice, though, and it felt even stranger when Bickslow stopped.

Bickslow sat down beside him and placed that comforting hand on his arm instead. “If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.”

“Why?”, Laxus asked bewildered.

An amused smile formed on Bickslow’s slim lips. “Because I know what it's like to be scared to death of people finding out about me.”

“If you knew, then why did you ask?”

Bickslow shrugged. “Because I don't need to figure it out. You do.”

Laxus nodded in understanding.

“Tea?”, Bickslow offered

“Please”, Laxus nodded.

There was a calm silence while Bickslow made them a cup each. Sitting cross legged on the couch, the hot cup warming his hands, Laxus felt a lot calmer already. Maybe it wasn’t so bad to be like this. Bickslow was, and he was very nice, smart, beautiful… Was that too much to think? Was in inappropriate? Laxus dared a glance in Bickslow’s direction.

“Was that the first time you were in a queer club?”, Bickslow asked.

“Yea. Why?”

“You just looked pretty lost. It was a little cute.”

Laxus felt his cheeks take on a rosy hue again. He grumbled and Bickslow chuckled in amusement. Sipping the tea instead, Laxus sighed.

“About what I said…”

Bickslow waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t. Let’s not talk about it.”

“But…”

“It's okay.”

Laxus frowned at him. “No. It’s not.”

“No. It isn't really”, Bickslow agreed. “You know, this was hardly the first time someone called me names, and you sports bros have a tendency to be dickheads. That’s not a surprise. I don’t give a shit what some muscle for brains thinks of me. But what you did really hurt me. I thought you were different. I thought we were friends. At the very least, I expected you to have the balls to say it to my face.”

“Bickslow, I am so sorry. I should never have said that. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

Bickslow sighed deeply. “I know. I get it. You're scared and trying so hard to fit in, to play straight. Well guess what? You're very convincing. You could keep doing this for the rest of you life. But take some time and really think about what it is that you want. Not your family. Not your team or friends. Just you. Who are you and what do you want?”

“I'm not really sure”, Laxus admitted.

“That's okay. You have plenty of time to figure it out. There’s no rush. These things don’t come with a deadline.”

“I guess”, Laxus mumbled.

“But Laxus? Never talk shit behind my back again. Or behind anyone’s back for that matter. It’s cowardly and I only have that much patience and forgiveness in me.”

“Never again”, Laxus swore.

Nodding his approval, Bickslow refocused on his tea. Finishing his own, Laxus rinsed the cup and put it upside down on the drying rack.

“Thank you for the tea. And everything.”

“You're welcome”, Bickslow smiled.

“I should probably go.”

“Yea, but before you do…”

Bickslow reached for something on his bookshelf and threw it at Laxus. Catching it, Laxus realised it was his stack of index cards. He was surprised Bickslow had kept them. He glanced at the rubber band around his wrist. It was the exact same colour as the new one around the cards, but one reminded him of his stupidity while the other offered him another chance. Bickslow flopped back down on the couch and crossed his legs.

“Remember, 19 sharp.”

Laxus blinked at him. “You're going to tutor me again?”

“You don't want me to?”, Bickslow challenged.

“No, I do! I just...”

“Then don't you dare be late”, Bickslow stated pointedly.

“I won't be.”

“Good.”

Laxus yawned when reached the changing rooms. He had been up late studying in an attempt to catch up with the plan Bickslow had made for him. He was in dire need of a nap, but first he had to make it through training. Opening his locker, he stashed his backpack. Taking the rubber band off his wrists, he placed it safe and sound on the upper shelf. It was a stern reminder. Never again.

“Hey Laxus, are you really hanging out with that faggot again?”

“He is tutoring me”, Laxus stated firmly.

He was not willing to engage with the banter right now. He just wanted this over with so he could rest. He began unbuttoning his shirt.

“Is that all he's doing?”, Trevor grinned.

“I am not in the mood”, Laxus warned.

Trevor leaned against the lockers beside him with an amused grin on his face. Laxus pointedly ignored him and hung his shirt aside.

“I heard you went home with him.”

“Shut your face”, Laxus growled.

“Oh, so you did fuck him, huh?”

Laxus turned around. Meeting Trevor’s eyes head on, he challenged, “And what if I did?”

“Haha, aw Man, eow. Is he tight at least?”

“Not any more”, Markus quipped.

“Hey!”, Laxus roared. “He is a good guy, aright? Just leave him the fuck alone!”

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. Everyone stopped to observe the trio.

Trevor gave Laxus a disbelieving frown. “Why the fuck are you defending some homo?”

Laxus raised a hand in his general direction. “Shut you mouth or I will shut it for you.”

Markus gave Trevor a meaning look, asking him to back off, but he merely chuckled. He looked around for a moment to read the room before bringing his hands up and pressing the tips of his index fingers together.

“Laxus and Bickslow, sitting in a tree...”

Laxus punched him in the face.


	8. Choice

Levy gave Bickslow a long look. He pretended not to notice for a while, but eventually caved and met her eyes.

“What's wrong?”, Levy wondered. “Having a hard time focusing?”

“Looks like Laxus is back to old habits”, Bickslow grumbled. “He was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago.”

Lucy shook her head. “You didn't hear? He's suspended for an entire week.”

“What? Why?”

“He got into a fistfight with Trevor.”

“Who?”, Bickslow asked.

“He’s a linebacker.”

“What’s a linebacker?”, Levy wondered.

Lucy stifled a laugh. “I love that you’ve been to several games and don’t know that.”

“I’m not there for some stupid sportsball game”, Levy defended. “I’m there to watch you cheer.”

“Cheering for my cheering”, Lucy teased.

“Always”, Levy smiled.

“You guys are adorable”, Bickslow commented teasingly. “But why would he hit that guy? And why wouldn’t he tell me? He has my number.”

Lucy shrugged. “I don't know. You're the one that knows him best.”

Bickslow took a moment to think. “Fuck”, he sighed and began gathering his notes.

“Where are you going?”

“I will figure that out along the way”, Bickslow shrugged.

After ringing the doorbell, Bickslow politely stepped back from the door and waited. A few moments later, a broad man with a thick black beard opened. He had a firm air about himself. Bickslow knew his looks made him unpopular with strict parents, so he brought a soft smile to his lips and bowed his head a little.

“Good evening, Sir.”

“Can I help you?”, the man demanded.

“I am sorry to disturb you, Mr Dreyar. I am looking for Laxus.”

“He’s grounded”, the man stated and made to close the door.

“I am Laxus’s tutor. I have some homework for him.”

“I'll give it to him”, Mr Dreyar said and held out a hand expectantly.

“Oh, I am sorry. I do not have it on paper. I usually tutor him face to face”, Bickslow apologized. “But I could write it down if you want. Just give me a minute…” He slid his bag off his back.

Mr Dreyar sighed and opened the door further. “He's upstairs. But make it quick.”

Making sure to look surprised, Bickslow nodded. “Yes, Sir. Thank you.”

Walking into the large house, Bickslow again lowered his head a little, almost cowering. Taking his shoes off in a hurry, he walked up the stairs. The hallway at the top was short and only one door was closed. Making his way toward it, Bickslow exhaled. No wonder Laxus was so stoic. He knocked and entered.

Laxus practically jumped up from his bed and swiftly closed the door behind Bickslow. He tugged his headphones off and the sound of drums and electric guitars escaped.

“What are you doing here?”

“I have your homework”, Bickslow responded.

The reaction worried him a little. Eyeing the door, he wondered…

Laxus frowned at him. “How did you even know where I live?”

“There is this incredible invention called a phone book”, Bickslow teased.

Laxus sighed and walked across the room to turn the music off and place his headphones on his desk. Bickslow dropped his bag and took a moment to scan his surroundings. Laxus’s room wasn’t nearly as sports fanatic as he would have thought. There were some trophies and medals, but Laxus didn’t have a single poster on his walls. The entire space was very monochrome and angular. The most prominent items were a shelf stuffed with CD’s and vinyls and a modern turntable sitting on the desk.

“Minimalist”, he commented.

Laxus huffed a laugh. “Says you.”

He sat back down on his bed and Bickslow came closer. Sitting down right beside him, Bickslow inspected his face. Laxus tensed. He had a blue eye and a few scratches across his nose, nothing too bad, but Bickslow looked at him with such worry. It made him a little uncomfortable to know Bickslow cared so much about him. It’s not like he had ever done anything to deserve it.

“What happened?”, Bickslow asked.

Laxus turned his head away. “Nothing.”

“Laxus. You use degrading language, then go to a queer club, then come to me crying, and then get into a fistfight. You don't honestly believe that I am that dense, do you? What did he do?”

Laxus shrugged. “He just said some shit. It ticked me off”

“Was he teasing you about having a crush on me?”, Bickslow asked.

Laxus met his eyes, but hesitated. Bickslow waited patiently for Laxus to speak up.

“You know about that?”

“I heard it. The same afternoon I heard you talk about me”, Bickslow explained.

Laxus let his gaze fall again. “I'm sorry.”

“Hey, bygones. But was that it?”

“That, and he said some things about you. I just couldn't let it stand.”

Bickslow sighed deeply. “Laxus, you don't need to defend me. I don't give a flying fuck what some insecure asshole thinks of me.”

“But I do”, Laxus argued. “I care. And if he thinks that way about you, then what will he think of me? I just snapped.”

“Did you explain that to the principal? He's actually really good with this stuff.”

Laxus shook his head.

“Why not?”

“Him and my dad are golfing buddies. If I tell him…” Laxus shook his head again. “My dad will kill me.”

“Are you so sure he wouldn’t understand?”, Bickslow offered.

“He wouldn't.”

Bickslow tensed. Laxus was looking right into his eyes and leaning forward a little. He was being so firm, so urgent. Something was seriously amiss.

“You don't know what he's like. He will not just disown me and kick me out. He will fucking end me. I would be lucky if I make it out on a stretcher. I'm not kidding. He's…” Laxus shook his head. “I just can’t.”

Bickslow took his hand and nodded. “Okay. Okay, I get it.”

They sat in silence for a long moment. Laxus looked down at their entangled fingers. Bringing both their hands up to his face, he held them against his forehead and sighed. When he looked up, Bickslow had tears in his eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“That’s my line”, Bickslow quipped weakly.

It was little more than a whisper. He squeezed Laxus’s hand in his own for emphasis. He felt like his breath was stuck in his throat along with his words. Forcing a deep inhalation, he brought them out.

“Laxus? Does he hit you?”

Laxus let go of his hand and stared out the window. Laxus’s jaw was clenched and his shoulders drawn up. Bickslow nodded to himself and swallowed back his tears. He could not cry right now. Laxus fucking needed him! Get your shit together! Taking another deep breath, he shifted closer and wrapped an arm around Laxus.

“Just know that if you want to, you can leave.”

“There’s no way I could”, Laxus rebuffed. “He would never let me. If he found out that I…”

His voice wavered. Holding onto him, Bickslow felt the quiver going through his body.

“Hear me out. Laxus, there is no rule about coming out to your parents, or anyone. I would never tell you to come out unless you want to. Coming out can cost you friends and family. I won’t try to sugar coat that. But regardless, you can leave. We will help you. We will find you a place to stay if you need it. We will protect you. If you want it.”

Laxus sat silent. His jaw was trembling. Bickslow leaned against him to offer some comfort.

“So if you want it, just say the word and you're out. Your an adult. Legally your father has no right to keep you in your room. You can walk out and we will be right there for you. Give it some thought. It is a huge decision to make, especially if you are convinced that your father won’t accept it, but it is your decision to make. No one can force you to stay or go. But Laxus, no one, no one has the right to hurt you. You deserve better.”

Laxus closed his eyes and tears ran down his face. He snivelled and wiped at his face. He felt so fucking pathetic. He didn’t want to be this fucking weak! What if his father saw him crying like some… shit! His father! Clearing his throat, he turned to Bickslow.

“You need to leave. Before my dad gets suspicious.”

Bickslow nodded a little. “Call me or text me if you need me. I'm right here for you.”

“Thank you. Really.”

Getting up, Bickslow grabbed his bag.

“What's my homework?”, Laxus asked.

“What?”

Laxus nodded toward the door. “He will ask.”

Bickslow thought for a moment. “Chapter thirteen. Think thoroughly about how it connects to the previous work we have done. Try to make a mind map, like I showed you. And do all the even numbered exercises. You can use that as excuse to contact me as well if you want.”

Laxus nodded again. “Thank you.”

“Any time.”


	9. Out

“I want out.”

Laxus paced back and forth while he waited for a response. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he shied back. He turned away from the reflection and paced along the width of his room instead of the length. He fiddled with the rubber band on his wrist. It felt like an eternity before his phone finally buzzed.

“Tonight?”

“Is that possible?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes.”

“Pack your bags. Make sure you have everything you need. Anything you leave behind, you might never see again if your dad doesn’t let you back in the house. We will be there at 8.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Laxus dropped the phone onto his cushion and grabbed his travel bag from under the bed. He looked around. Taking his CD’s, he tucked them into the bag. Next went the vinyl, wrapped in some clothes. He took the single picture frame and opened it. Taking the photo sandwiched between the cardboard back and some group picture of his team, he walked over to the desk and carefully placed it between the pages of a notebook. All school materials went into his backpack. He was about to get his toothbrush when he released that it might give him away. It was hardly irreplaceable. Instead he focused on fitting as many clothes as possible into the bag. He rolled his trousers and t-shirts tightly. Then he remembered the book! Lying down on his back, he reached between the slats of his bed and the mattress to retrieve it.

When he was done packing, Laxus tucked the bag back under the bed for the time being. He put his headphones on and turned the volume way up. The familiar smoky voices rung in his ears, but he simply could not calm down. He was shivering and yet far too warm. He felt like he was about to have a panic attack, but it never came. He wasn’t sure which was worse.  For the first time in many years,  he clasped his hands together in prayer. 

He had never been a big believer. Faith was hardly a virtue he had been taught to value. He had prayed twice before, not just parroted a thanks before mealtime or pretended to focus while he was itching to go outside and play, but really prayed. The first time was when his grandmother died. When all the adults had left, he stood by the grave and talked to her. She never did answer. The second time was together with his mother. She urged him to sit by the bed with her and pray. She had been so solemn, it scared him. While she prayed for his well-being, he secretly prayed to all the gods for hers. Now he prayed his father wouldn't notice the empty shelf before the clock turned eight.

When his phone buzzed again, Laxus picked it up at once.

“We’re here. Walk out to us. Open the door as soon as you get downstairs.”

Laxus tugged his headphones down to rest around his neck and turned them off. Getting up, he slung his backpack over his shoulder and grabbed his travel bag from under the bed. He knew he had no chance of sneaking out. He had tired numerous times. He hurried down the stairs instead. It didn’t take two seconds for his father to notice.

“Where do you think you're going?!”

“I am leaving”, Laxus stated, grabbing his coat.

“You are grounded!”, his father roared.

“You can’t ground me. I’m an adult”, Laxus argued while he reached for his shoes.

His father raised a hand, pointing at him in warning. “If you go out that door, don't bother coming back.”

Recognising the words all too well, Laxus felt fear dig its icy claws into his heart. He remembered what happened that night like it was yesterday, like he was ten and cowering under his bed, trying to drown out the screaming with loud music. He remembered Bickslow’s instruction then. Before even trying to put his shoes on, he opened the door.

“Laxus!”

His father stormed toward the door and Laxus fled outside in socks. Bickslow took a hold of him and tugged him past a group of people.

“Who the hell are you?!”, his father roared behind him.

“Good evening”, a polite voice responded.

“Go. Keep moving”, Bickslow urged.

Laxus followed his lead and moments later found himself in a car. Bickslow took his bags and stashed them in the trunk before getting into the seat beside him and reaching over. Realising he had been sitting stock still, Laxus felt silly when Bickslow pulled the seatbelt across him. Strapping in as well, Bickslow nodded and the car set into motion. Laxus turned his head to find his father standing on the pavement, screaming and waving a shoe. Around him, a group of people were getting onto motorcycles and driving away.

When they turned the corner and his father disappeared behind the hedges, Laxus felt the tension draining out of his body. He sank into the car seat like a sack of potatoes. He was suddenly incredibly tired. He was so exhausted. He felt like he was trembling, but he wasn’t. He was completely limp. Not fighting the movement of the car, he slid to the side a little and Bickslow leaned in as well to meet him. Bickslow stroked a hand over his cheek, over the fresh bruise. He met Bickslow’s gaze and felt the air leaving his lungs. Bickslow looked so worried again, so pained.

“What happened?”, Bickslow asked.

“He figured it out. I guess he knew for long time, but didn’t wanna believe it. After you visited, he put one and one together.”

“Shit. I’m so sorry.”

Laxus shook his head. “No. I’m glad you came to check on me. No one has ever done that for me before.”

“Where are we headed?”, Levy asked.

Laxus noticed her first now. She was sitting right in front of him, arching to peer at him over the top of the backrest. Beside her in the driver’s seat was a bearded man. He seemed familiar somehow. Laxus eyed him through the rear-view mirror. When the man glanced back at him for a split second, it fell into place. It was the man Bickslow had kissed. Was he Bickslow’s boyfriend?

“Do you have any other relatives that might be more tolerant?”, Levy asked.

“Not really. I’m not on talking terms with anyone.”

“Okay. Don't worry, we’ll figure something out”, Levy smiled.

She really had a sweet smile. It made Laxus feel just a tiny bit better. He was rather amazed that she was willing to help him. When he returned to the library after insults and apologies, she had been less than welcoming. Not that he could blame her.

“You’re welcome to stay at my place. But as you know, it’s a little crammed”, Bickslow offered.

“I don’t mind”, Laxus shrugged.

“Or”, Levy interrupted. “If you don't feel safe and feel the need to disappear, we know social workers that can help.”

“Disappear?”

“Move away. Escape your dad.”

Laxus shook his head. “No. I don't wanna go anywhere. I have my entire life here.”

“Has your father hurt you before?”, Levy wondered.

“No”, Laxus lied.

Bickslow frowned at him but elected not to say anything. Laxus gave him a grateful glance. Despite the silence, or maybe because of it, Levy wasn’t fooled.

“You might be able to get a restraining order”, she suggested.

“No. It’s not like that.”

“Okay. It is your call.”

“So we are headed to Bix’s?”, the driver asked.

Laxus nodded. He met Bickslow’s eyes. There was still so much worry in them. Bickslow looked as tense as Laxus had felt all afternoon.

“I mean, if you don't mind.”

Bickslow shook his head and forced a smile. “Not at all. You are more than welcome. You just have to follow my rules.”

“Which are?, Laxus asked.

“No mess. No drinking or smoking. Silence and focus during homework hours. No bullshit. And the shower is mine in the evenings”, Bickslow enumerated while counting on his fingers.

“I shower at school every morning anyway.”

“Perfect.”, Bickslow smiled in jest.

The man driving them seemed to know the way well enough. Soon, they were in front of the familiar grey slab and everyone unbuckled their seatbelts. Remembering that he still had his shoes in his hands, Laxus put them on haphazardly before stepping out of the car. The motorcycles that had left his father’s house arrived only moments later. The five figures dressed in black leather and big helmets dominated the small street.

A woman dismounted and flipped her visor up. Most of her face was covered by a black cloth, but a pair of brown eyes peered out from under the protective layers. She handed Laxus a card with a number scribbled onto it.

“If anything happens, call this number.”

Recognising the voice, Laxus was astounded. It was no one other than Lucy Heartfilia standing before him.

“Happens? Like what?”, he asked.

Lucy shrugged. “If you don't feel safe. If you need someone to talk to. Anything, really.”

“We are part of a support network”, Levy explained. “If you are in actual danger, obviously call the police, but we’re here for everything else. Like moving people out of homes that aren’t safe.”

Lucy nodded. “We’ve got your back. We pick people up or follow them to meetings. We can stand there looking scary and make sure no one gets hurt. Sometimes that’s the end of it, we drive away and it’s done. Sometimes it’s not. So, if you need anything, help getting somewhere, to meet someone, or want contact info for some queer friendly social service workers, call us. We are here for you.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome”, Levy smiled. “Have a good night.”

She walked over to the motorcycle and began pulling a helmet and protective clothing out of a saddlebag. Lucy joined her and slid her visor down again. The man driving the car gave Bickslow a hug and a kiss. He offered Laxus a meaning nod before turning away as well. Laxus took his bags and followed Bickslow into the house.


	10. Night

“Lucy is in a motorcycle gang?!”

“It’s a motorcycle club, not a gang, and yea. Don’t let her looks fool you, she packs a punch, and if that doesn’t do the trick, she can always kick your balls in. She’s not just a sexy cheerleader. Her badassness comes in many forms.”

“Holy shit.”

Bickslow sniggered and shook his jacket off.

“Now what to do with you”, he mumbled, taping his chin. “I don’t have that much space. We’ll have to get some additional storage when we get the chance. Better let you settle in a little, though.”

Talking to himself, Bickslow grabbed piece of cardboard from behind the couch. It was an old moving carton. Assembling it and placing a piece of duct tape along the bottom, he offered it to Laxus.

“For now you can have this and keep the rest of your stuff in your bag. We’ll figure something out.”

“Thanks”, Laxus nodded.

Glad to have something to busy himself with, Laxus got started. Opening his travel bag, he began by pulling everything out. It was a mess. The CD’s and vinyl got to live safely in the box. His bag could become a makeshift closet for now. It was not that different from staying at a hotel during tournaments. It felt good to do this, to sort through his few possessions, to see that it was all there. Bickslow tiptoed around his clothes and picked up the single book.

“You know Levy wrote this, right?”

“What? No, it was written by Leo Gardens.” Hearing his own words, Laxus gaped. “Seriously?”

“Uhu. And Lucy did the edit.” Turing the book over in his hands, Bickslow smirked. “Looks like you read it a few times. It’s pretty spicy, no?”

Laxus blushed deeply and Bickslow laughed aloud.

“So this is your jerk off material? I’m surprised with you, Lax. I would have pegged you for a video porn kind of guy”

Laxus snatched the book out of his hands. “Give me that!”

Smiling over both ears, Bickslow flopped down on the couch. “You don’t need to hide it around here, you know. If you like that one, you should check out some of the books I’ve got lying around. I especially like Managing Needs. It’s pretty kinky.”

Laxus grumbled a little. He glanced toward the bookshelf shortly before placing his book in the box. He did not want it on display. After folding his clothes and creating some semblance of order in his bag, he turned to his backpack. He took out the photograph from among his notes. Bickslow glanced over his shoulder.

“Who’s that? You sister?”

“My mom”, Laxus answered.

“Oh.”

“It’s an old picture.”

“She looks kind”, Bickslow commented.

Nodding a little, Laxus placed the photo on top of the book and covered it with the school materials he wouldn't need immediately. Pushing his bag and the box into a corner of the room, he stood. It would have to do for now.

Bickslow stretched and yawned.  “We’ll have to get another mattress  too . I’ll sleep on the couch for the night.”

“I can take the couch”, Laxus said at once.

“Nope. No you don’t. You went through a lot today. You need to rest.”

Before Laxus could say anything more, Bickslow held up a hand. “Don’t argue with me. My house, my rules.”

Laxus smiled and shook his head. “Fine.”

They got ready for bed and Bickslow gave him a new toothbrush from the cabinet. It was oddly tranquil to brush your teeth side by side with someone. Laxus decided to take an evening shower as well. He scrubbed himself from head to toe in an effort to rid himself of any residue discomfort. The results were mixed at best. The smell of Bickslow’s shampoo was soothing, but despite the wooden aroma and the hot water, Laxus was still tense when he left the bathroom.

Bickslow had pulled the curtains shut and lay on the couch in a baggy t-shirt and some slacks. He had draped a jacket over himself haphazardly and closed his eyes. He was rather cute like that, all relaxed and casual. It was obvious he wouldn't be very comfortable, though. Picking the blanket up, Laxus threw it at him.

“At least take the blanket. I’ll use my coat.”

“Fiiine”, Bickslow mocked.

Shaking his head, Laxus went to the door to grab his coat. He double checked that the door was locked and the chain was in place before returning and settling down on the mattress. He looked up at the ceiling. There was a single lamp hanging just slightly off-center. The cable had been taped to the ceiling, but a small section was loose. The asymmetry of it all was kinda annoying.

Grey blurs began dancing across Laxus’s vision. Occasionally, the light of a car passing by traveled across the canvas. It began as a thin stripe and thickened until it covered a third of the ceiling before rushing over his head and thinning out again at the other end of the room. Turning to his side instead, Laxus found himself staring at the floorboards. They were even, but stained. He was sure as hell not at home any more. He closed his eyes in an attempt to shut it all out, but even the soundscape was completely different. The cars were far more frequent here and there was a humming in the background that he couldn't quite place. He knew for a fact that it wasn’t any air conditioning. Bickslow sighed softly on the couch above.

Laxus opened his eyes again and peered up. With ample light from the street coming through the curtains, he could make out Bickslow’s face well enough. He was clearly still awake as well, staring up at the ceiling and letting his thoughts project onto it. He looked so serious, so solemn.

“Hey Bickslow?”

“Hm?”

“Is it really okay that I stay here?”

Bickslow rolled onto his side and glanced down at Laxus over the edge of the couch.

“I said so, didn't I? You think I would offer my home to you if I wasn't okay with it?”

“Yea, but… What if my father really does come for me? That would put you in harms way too, right?”

“Possibly. But don't worry about that.”

“You're not scared?”

“No.”

Laxus frowned. How could Bickslow  not be  scared ? His father was almost as broad as Laxus himself. Bickslow was a stick in comparison. His father could break Bickslow in two if he so wished. 

“You don’t understand”, Laxus concluded.

“Then explain it to me.”

“He gave me this”, Laxus pointed out, motioning to the scar going across his face.

“Did you ever go to the police?”, Bickslow wondered.

“No. It’s not like that. It was an accident. But when he looses his cool…”

“That’s a shit excuse”, Bickslow interrupted.

Laxus balled his hands into fists. He was well aware of that, but he knew that it hadn’t been intentional. There was no way it could have been. He had been disrespectful and that despite knowing well that his father had little patience and was hurting on the inside already. It just happened. He knew that was no excuse. If he was honest with himself, he knew he had to let go, just as the rest of his family had, but it was hard to do. This was his dad.

Bickslow brought out a hand from under the blanket and beckoned Laxus closer. Curious, Laxus steadied himself on his elbows. Reaching down, Bickslow took Laxus’s hand and brought it to his face. Pressing Laxus's index finger against the t ip of his nose , he ran it up over the bridge, over the tattoo, and Laxus could feel bumps in the skin. His frown deepened before realisation hit and his eyebrows raised instead. 

“What happened to you?”

“I don't really like to talk about it. Just know that I've seen people loose their cool and I am not scared in the least. You are safe with me.”

Laxus let his head fall. So Bickslow said, but Laxus could still feel his entire body aching with residual tension.

“Laxus? Are you scared?”

“Yea. I don’t think he will do anything, but I don’t know.”

Laxus’s answer was barely a whisper. Bickslow got off the couch. He removed  L axus’s coat and instead wrapped them both in the blanket. Cuddling close, he cradled Laxus in his arms. 

“People that have been scary for a long time are always the hardest to shake off, even after they’re gone. But it’s over now, and eventually you will realise that. You’ve got me, and Levy, and Lucy. You will be okay. You’ll see.”

Laxus closed his eyes and hid against Bickslow’s chest. He hoped that was true.


	11. Questions

When Laxus woke, he found Bickslow half naked beside himself. The loose fitting t-shirt lay discarded nearby. Bickslow must have gotten hot during the night. Only one of his legs was even under the blanket now. He lay splayed out on his back like a starfish. Laxus lay perfectly still, only his eyes moving over the expanse of skin. Bickslow was slender and long, very elegant. His skin looked so warm and soft. The hint of a treasure trail peaked out from under his slacks. When Bickslow shifted, Laxus quickly averted his gaze.

Bickslow yawned loudly and stretched, nudging Laxus in the process. Blinking at him, Bickslow smiled. Laxus enjoyed the sensation of the warm arm resting against his own. It was cosy. He held still and hoped it would linger, but Bickslow sat up.

“Slept well?”

“Well enough”, Laxus nodded.

“Good”, Bickslow mumbled.

He picked himself up off the floor and grabbed his t-shirt. With only the thin slacks on, it was painfully obvious he had morning wood. Laxus was absolutely not looking. Except maybe a little. Bickslow opened his dresser and placed the t-shirt inside. Then he took his slacks off and revealed his naked butt. Now Laxus was most certainly not looking! Pulling other clothes out of the dresser, Bickslow disappeared in the bathroom and Laxus exhaled.

How the hell had he ever managed to lie to himself about this? Fucking hell. Also, damn Bickslow did not have a worry in the world. Then again, the guys were no more prude in the changing rooms. But that was different. Or maybe it wasn’t. Laxus sighed and hid his face against the pillow. How the hell was he supposed to know?!

Laxus woke again when the sun was high in the sky. Stretching, he felt just how soft the blanket was against his skin. He was so profoundly comfortable right now, and so utterly unwilling to move. The humming noise from last night was still there, but now it was mixed with the sound of children playing outside. The window must be open a crack.

“Morning, Sunshine.”

Lifting his head, Laxus found Bickslow lounging on the couch with a book in hand. He was smiling softly.

“What’s the time?”, Laxus mumbled.

“Almost noon.”

“Damn.”

“No need to stress”, Bickslow shrugged. “You’re still suspended anyway.”

“What are you still doing here? Don’t you have class?”, Laxus asked.

Bickslow put a bookmark between the pages and placed the book down on on a pile leaning against the couch. “I talked to the principal and told him I need some time off. Personal reasons. So for the rest of the week, let's just focus on settling in.”

“You don't have to do that.”

“But I want to. Besides, I'll be damned if I leave you alone right now. Its been a lot for you the past days.”

“I'm okay”, Laxus said at once.

Bickslow shook his head. “No. You're not.”

Laxus grumbled a little. Bickslow was probably right. He hadn’t slept in this much in ages and he was still a little groggy. Not to mention, it would probably have been pretty awkward to wake up to an empty apartment. He was glad that Bickslow was here with him. It was bewildering, though. Bickslow really went out of his way for him.

“Why are you doing all this?”

“Because you need me.”

“I…”

Laxus stopped himself. Bickslow was right. He did. He had nowhere else to go. No one else had ever pushed him the way Bickslow did, nor held him the way Bickslow had. And what had he done to repay his debt? Talked shit behind Bickslow’s back. He was such a dickhead.

“Thank you”, he mumbled.

“Of course.”

Laxus sat up and rubbed his eyes. He watched Bickslow for a long moment. Bickslow tilted his head to the side a little, waiting in curious patience for whatever came next.

“Is there anything I can do to pay you back?”, Laxus asked.

Bickslow smiled at him. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“I owe you everything”, Laxus countered.

Thinking for a moment, Bickslow hummed. “You want to pay me back? Show me that I was right. Study hard. Finish college. Build a life for yourself.”

“Bickslow, I’m serious.”

“As am I.”

“Bix”, Laxus insisted.

Bickslow sat up properly and met his eyes. “You really aren’t comfortable with this, are you?”

Laxus shrugged a little. “I don’t like being indebted to people.”

“Why? What’s so bad about that?”

Laxus hesitated for a moment. He didn’t avoid Bickslow exactly, but he also didn’t meet the dark red eyes when he spoke again.

“It makes me vulnerable.”

“Vulnerability is strength. It’s how we connect to other people. Being vulnerable is the single most badass thing you can do.”

Laxus didn’t look convinced.

Bickslow sighed. “Fine. If you insist, you can pay me back half of the rent once you can afford it.”

“I will pay every penny”, Laxus determined. “How much is it?”

“Eight thousand a month. So that’s four thousand for you.”

“For this shoebox?!”, Laxus asked baffled.

“Good location”, Bickslow shrugged.

“Good location?”, Laxus asked in disbelief. “This?”

“It’s central”, Bickslow argued. “I dare you to find something more affordable in walking distance to Fairy Tail.”

Laxus sighed deeply. “Fair enough. Still, eight thousand for this shit? What the hell?”

“Are you insulting my apartment?”, Bickslow challenged playfully.

“I would never”, Laxus teased.

“Mhm”, Bickslow chuckled. “I’ll make us some breakfast while you get dressed.”

Laxus got up and headed for the bathroom. Once he was presentable, he found that Bickslow had not only prepared oatmeal and coffee, he had also folded the blanket and pushed the mattress under the couch. Laxus was slightly uncomfortable. He really wasn’t used to someone fussing about him like this. Taking a seat, he gladly accepted a spoonful of preserve atop his oatmeal.

Bickslow leaned against the wall and sipped a cup of coffee in the meantime. Laxus watched him between bites. He really had a certain flare about himself. He was confident and balanced. And he was incredibly kind and smart. He was one hell of a guy. Whoever got his attention was a lucky man indeed.

“Can I ask you something?”

“No. Never”, Bickslow jested.

Laxus gave him a tired look.

“What’s on your mind?”

“That guy in the car…”

“Tommy”, Bickslow nodded.

“You were with him in The Box, right?”

“Yea.”

“Are you seeing him, or?”, Laxus asked.

Bickslow chuckled. “No. We’re just friends. Gotta love a leather bear.”

“A leather bear?”

“Yea. Tommy is the president of Fiore Leather Men.”

“What’s that?”, Laxus wondered.

Bickslow paused for a second before huffing a laugh. “You are the straightest gay man I have ever met.”

“That’s why I’m so believable”, Laxus quipped back.

Bickslow pointed at him and nodded. “Leather is a common fetish”, he explained. “One I’d say you share from your trousers to judge.”

“They look good”, Laxus defended.

“I agree.”

Laxus took another spoonful of oatmeal. Another man had just given him a compliment. It felt nice. Very nice. Laxus took his sweet time chewing even though there was little need. He had been so damn scared of admitting it even to himself. He had never even said the word, but since Bickslow knew his secret, it was like the floodgates had opened. Bickslow was so okay with him that it made Laxus weirdly comfortable as well.

“And they have a bear as mascot?”, he asked.

“You could say that”, Bickslow chuckled. “A bear is a big and hairy gay man.”

“You’re into that?”

“Hell yea. A thick beard and hairy chest? So hot.” Bickslow stuck his tongue out playfully. “Why? What’s your type?”

You. No way in hell was he going to say that! Stupid.

Laxus shrugged. “I haven’t really thought about it.”

“Fair enough, Stud.”

Laxus had been called that before. Back in the park, the man with the blue eyeliner said that as well. Stud. A bear and a horse. It was kinda funny. Now that he thought about it, he had also been called a bunny once. A gym bunny. He never did understand that. Was bunny also a gay thing? Was that man gay? He was definitively fashionable. Laxus shook his head. That was a stereotype and he knew it.

“What would you be?”, he asked.

“Me? I’m a fucking queen, Baby”, Bickslow stated confidently.

He made a pose that showed off his nail polish. Relaxing again, he smirked and winked at Laxus. Laxus stared back at him wide eyed.

“What?”, Bickslow asked.

“I just… I’ve never heard you talk like that before.”

Bickslow shrugged. “I don’t need to show every side of me at school.”

“I was just surprised.”

Bickslow set his coffee cup down and leaned onto the table. “I don’t know. It’s fun to lean into it sometimes and be capital F Fabulous, but it’s definitively an act for me. Sometimes I like a bit of flare, make up, glitter, the whole package. I know a lot of gold star boys who just are like that, always a hundred percent, but if I flaunt it, it’s in order to give that loud middle finger to what is expected of me. It’s a statement. I like it, but I don’t wanna do it every day. That would be exhausting.” Smirking, he added, “And it happens to be a rather efficient way to get laid too.”

“Do you go out often?”, Laxus wondered.

“Not that often. I don’t like most of the clubs, but The Box is nice. It’s clean and the drinks are good and not too expensive. Besides, a lot of the places that are open on a daily have become a little too straight the last couple of years. I don’t know when it became trendy to hang at queer clubs, but it can get a little annoying when it’s too much.”

“I noticed a lot of people were topless in there”, Laxus commented.

Bickslow just nodded.

“Do you reckon the girls there are lesbians?”, Laxus asked.

“Most of them. There are people who are curious too. Or guys and gals who come with their queer friends. You’ve got your fag hags and stags, the beards and allies. Not everyone you meet in a queer space is queer. Just the majority.”

“Right.”

Bickslow chuckled a little. “You have so many questions.”

“Sorry.”

“No, not at all. It’s kinda fun. And fascinating. Queer culture was always a part of my life to some degree, so it’s interesting to see what you react to. It’s all so obvious to me, you know?”

“When did you come out?”, Laxus wondered.

“I never bothered to come out to be honest”, Bickslow shrugged.

Laxus frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I always knew I like boys. I learned that it was best to keep it a secret in some contexts and found other places where I could flaunt it. Even if you have some kind of announcement or talk with your family, that doesn’t mean it will be written on your forehead from there on. People will always first assume that you’re straight when they see you, because the majority of people are. I never had a moment of officially ‘coming out’ where I went from keeping it secret to telling people. I just take every day as it comes. If someone asks, yea, I am gay. If they don’t ask, they either don’t care or don’t need to know.”

Laxus nodded to himself. “I never thought about it that way.”

“Coming out is not an event. It’s a habit”, Bickslow jested.

Finishing his bowl, Laxus picked all the dishes off the table and went to wash them.

“Thanks”, Bickslow smiled.

“If I’m gonna stay here, I should at least pull my weight.”

“If it makes you happy. I know I won’t complain. Few things are as satisfying as seeing a strong man in the kitchen.”

Laxus inhaled a little harder and focused on his hands. Grabbing the sponge, he added dish soap and began scrubbing. Images of Bickslow at The Box flooded his mind again. The glare that Bickslow gave him was terrifying, but also undeniably hot. The glitter on his lids and that confident look in his eyes while he seduced Tommy…

Bickslow came to his side. “Does it make you uncomfortable when I’m being flirtatious?”

Looking up, Laxus met the deep red eyes. Bickslow was back to wearing a serious expression, all jest and mischief gone. How many times Laxus had met that gaze in the hallways and hoped to god no one noticed. He shook his head.

“You sure? I don’t want to step on your toes or anything. I realise that it’s uncommon among straight men to be this cutesy with another. I’ve been there. So, if it makes you at all uncomfortable, please let me know.”

“I’m definitively not used to it”, Laxus admitted. “But I don’t mind.”

Truth be told, he loved it and he would be happy if Bickslow did it more often. Maybe, someday, he might even want to return it and tell Bickslow just a few of the thoughts he had, about how pretty Bickslow was, how brave and brilliant. Laxus hoped that he would be able to do that at some point, and that Bickslow wouldn’t take offence. After all, Bickslow was just playing. Laxus meant it.

Bickslow smiled. He seemed a little relieved. “Okay. Tell me if there’s anything that bothers you at any point, alright? We’re roommates now. If we want to get along, we’ve got to be honest with each other. I’d rather you tell me right away if you have a peeve than if we let it build up into some stupid argument.”

Nodding, Laxus agreed, “Yea. Same to you. I know I can be a pain in the ass.”

Bickslow grinned widely. Placing a hand on Laxus’s shoulder, he leaned in and whispered, “Oh, I bet you can.”

Laxus blushed and he laughed heartedly. Sticking his tongue out, he backed away a step before turning around and leaving Laxus to his chores.


	12. Settle

“Laxus, how much would it bother you to share a larger mattress?”

Laxus looked up in surprise. They had bought a second blanket and pillow, but the couch really wasn’t great for sleeping. Bickslow had been looking for an alternative, but he never said anything about the two of them sharing. Laxus was reminded of that first night he fell asleep in Bickslow’s arms. Strictly speaking, it was the second time that happened already. He had hoped it might happen again. He had considered asking Bickslow, but he didn’t want to make things awkward. He was already invading Bickslow’s tiny apartment. He didn’t need to take the last personal space from Bickslow by wiggling his way into the man’s bed. But if Bickslow was asking…

“Not at all.”

Bickslow jumped to his feet. “Great. I found one they’re selling for a hundred, but this and mine won’t fit under the couch. So if you’re okay sharing, then let’s go pick it up.”

“For one hundred? Where?”, Laxus frowned.

That was more than a deal. That was ridiculous. He got up and followed Bickslow to the door to get dressed.

“Some guy a few blocks down. They bought the wrong size, so it’s unused. When we return, we can look for a shelf in the garbage.”

Laxus paused, shoe in hand.

“What?”, Bickslow asked.

“You wanna go dumpster diving for furniture?”

“Duh. Have you never lived in an apartment? There’s a room downstairs where people put their old furniture, TV’s and whatnot. If we see something useful, we can just grab it. The majority of my stuff is second hand. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. There’s no sense in paying for something you can find for free.” Checking his phone again, Bickslow mumbled, “But not a mattress. Gotta be new-ish or it’s not sanitary.”

Once they had hefted the mattress into the apartment and released it from the plastic, Bickslow tied his old one into a roll and they carried it down the stairs together. Laxus looked around with keen interest. Bickslow had guessed right. He had never lived in an apartment complex, not to mention one like this. Before he met Bickslow, he had never even been in a building this run down. Following Bickslow through a long cellar corridor and seeing the paint peel off the walls, it began to dawn on him just how far apart their worlds were.

Bickslow steered them around a corner in the dim light of a single florescent lamp. It never got the chance to turn on properly before they were at the other end and turned it off again. Reaching a yard, Laxus stopped. He had expected something sombre and cold, broken asphalt matching the grey facades crumbling around it, but the yard squeezed between the grey blocks was a colourful oasis. It was a strange mix of well tended flowerbeds, spray painted walls, and repurposed furniture. Someone had cobbled together a miniature soccer goal from chair legs and potato nets. A few chairs and a plank had been screwed together into a bench and four upside own buckets with a pallet on top acted table. A beautiful array of colourful cloth swayed in the wind.

“Pretty neat, eh?”, Bickslow commented.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Gotta make the most of what we have. You’re gonna love the big barbecue in winter. Our neighbour always roasts a whole pig”, Bickslow smiled brightly. “Come on.”

Walking across the creative oasis, Bickslow unlocked a heavy steel door and propped it open. There was no bulb screwed into the ceiling lamp, but it was sunny enough outside for them too look around. Throwing the mattress into a corner, Bickslow turned around and pointed to a gathering of planks leaning against the wall.

“Look at that! Just what we need. The same bookcase that everyone has. And they even left the bag of screws to go with it.”

Laxus huffed a laugh. “It really is. As a kid, I had that one in white.”

“Who didn’t?”, Bickslow teased.

Adjusting to the dim surroundings, Laxus peeked around. There really was all kind of stuff in here. In a large metal bin there was a TV with broken glass, a full tower that had been salvaged for parts, a handful of filthy looking pillows, and a vase. Along the walls were various parts and pieces. A bench that had broken clean in the middle, a few table legs without tabletop, splinters of glass, some cut cable, and a chair.

“There’s a chair here. You only have one, right?”

“Hm? But the leg is broken.”

Laxus inspected the damage. “That’s an easy fix. You got some extra screws?”

“I don’t.”

Laxus looked up at him. “What? You don’t have spare screws?”

“Why would I?”, Bickslow returned the question.

Laxus motioned at the chair. “To fix stuff.”

“I wouldn't know how”, Bickslow shrugged.

When Laxus just stood still, looking at him with a baffled expression, he grumbled. “What?!”

“I just never thought I would hear you say that you don’t know something. Seems strange.”

Bickslow gave him a tired yet amused look. “I don’t know everything.”

“Just about”, Laxus quipped. “Do you have a screwdriver at least?”

“I think so. I have some box of tools.”

“How else would you even put the bookshelf back together?”

Bickslow flexed his fingers. “This stuff is really easy. You don’t need instructions nor a screwdriver. They’re all the same.”

“Well, let’s take the bookshelf, check if you have a screwdriver, and in that case I’ll just salvage some screws from that broken bench and use those to fix this chair.”

Bickslow eyed the chair, then the bench, then Laxus, and finally the chair again. To think Laxus could fix things like that. It was such a typical manly thing to know how to do, it was almost laughable. At the same time, it was also stereotypically sexy. A handy man. Bickslow could imagine it all too well, Laxus in some workman trousers, maybe a helmet, definitively no t-shirt on, holding a heavy hammer or something, maybe a little sweaty, or a lot.

“What?”, Laxus asked this time.

“Nothing.”

Bickslow turned away and began gathering up the planks of the bookshelf. Frowning to himself, Laxus shrugged and crouched down to help. When they had all the small pieces gathered, they emerged from the dim room only to run into a middle aged man covered in tattoos. Bickslow greeted him cheerfully and asked about his day. He responded just as merrily. Laxus inspected him over Bickslow’s shoulder. At fist glance, he gave off a dangerous aura. His eyes were firm and his stance broad, but he had a very soft smile.

“Need a hand?”, he offered.

“Yes please”, Bickslow responded at once. “This is Bayley by the way. And this is Laxus”, he said, motioning between the two.

Laxus set his armful of planks down to offer a hand. “Nice to meet you.”

Bayley gave him a firm handshake and nodded. Then he grabbed the remaining two planks and followed them back through the corridor and up the stairs. Walking into Bickslow’s apartment like it was his own, he lay the planks down. Bickslow found a screwdriver and they headed back down again. Laxus salvaged some screws and then sat down on the makeshift bench in the yard while he reattached the leg to the chair. Bayley watched him with some interest.

“You’re gonna squeeze that in too?”, he questioned.

“I’ve got a roommate now”, Bickslow defended.

“Oh, you’re staying permanently?”

“Seems like it”, Laxus nodded.

“Welcome to the neighbourhood, Lad.”

“Thanks.”

Bayley gave him a broad smile and Laxus determined there was nothing scary about him at all. He was kind and gentle and liked body art. He was a lot like Bickslow that way. Intimidating from afar, but warm up close. Laxus decided he needed be less judgemental. He always had the wrong idea about people. Lucy wasn’t bitchy and Levy wasn’t a know-it-all, and neither one of them was an innocent girl from next door. And the guy he had noticed around school was definitively not a lost child. He was Bickslow. The Bickslow. Laxus didn’t want to be that way, think bad thoughts about others based on their looks. It wasn’t right. He wanted to be better than that. So he made up his mind. He was going to be better.

“You boys come on up and share a drink with me, yea?”, Bayley offered.

“We’d love to”, Bickslow agreed at once.

With that, Bayley took his leave. Tightening the last screw, Laxus flipped the chair back the right way around and Bickslow had a seat. Shifting a little, he nodded.

“Wow. Well done.”

“Told you it’s an easy fix”, Laxus shrugged.

Once they had the chair inside, the bookshelf up, and Laxus had arranged his belongings in it, they headed out again. This time, they took the stairs upward. They climbed all the way to the topmost floor. Bickslow knocked, but didn’t wait for an answer. He opened the door and entered at once. Feelingly slightly awkward, Laxus followed him.

The apartment was a little bigger than Bickslow’s and the kitchen was separate from the living room. Bayley also had a TV, and in a second room stood two beds. There was even a small encased balcony. Spotting a box of toys in a corner, Laxus frowned. It was two rooms, but it still seemed very small to raise a child.

“Welcome!”

Bayley joined them from the kitchen and held out two open bottles of beer. He had stuffed a slice of lime into each. Accepting one, Bickslow took a swing at once. Walking out onto the balcony, he looked down. Bayley gave the second bottle to Laxus.

“Thanks”, Laxus smiled.

Since Bayley didn’t move, neither did he. Bayley looked him up and down. His eyes lingered on the broad collar of his shirt and on the buckle of his belt. Laxus was surprised Bayley didn’t seem concerned with evaluating the large scar marking his face. That was usually what people judged him on, rather than his shirt or belt.

“So you’re his brother or?”, Bayley wondered.

“We’re friends.”

“Ah. ’Friends’, eh? Good to hear”, Bayley smirked. “Take care of him, yea? He’s a soft boy. He needs someone in his corner. Make sure he doesn’t overwork himself.”

Laxus nodded a little. He watched Bayley walk onto the balcony as well. Bayley wrapped an arm over Bickslow’s shoulders and said something. Bickslow laughed aloud. Laxus smiled to himself. It was hard to imagine Bickslow needing anyone or anything, but he was definitively soft, in the best of ways. He had such an easy time with people. It’s like he knew everyone. Taking a swing from his beer, Laxus hummed. It was really good! He inspected the label. It didn’t seem like anything special. Some cheap import. Huh. Bringing the bottle to his lips again, he stepped out onto the balcony.

Sitting on a firm rug, they lounged and drank in relative silence. Bickslow and Bayley would mention some things they had observed. A bird that perched on the balcony railing. A cat that let the kids pet it in the yard. That white car that was always speeding. Laxus just watched the sky slowly cloud over. After a while it began to hail. The ice pebbles drummed against the roof over their heads and the wind rattled the glass around them. Laxus hadn’t felt so tranquil in ages.

He listened closely. It was so quiet now. No one spoke. No one was banging on anything or playing outside. There was only the insistent drumming of ice on aluminium. The hail transitioned into rain after a while and life resumed. A motorcycle started up. Children began kicking a ball again. A bird announced the worst was over. Looking up again, Laxus observed the light returning. A blue patch appeared among the clouds, breaking them up and allowing the sun in. Peering through the glass, he saw children playing in the yard and a bird flying low.

“It’s kinda weird to see a bird from above”, he commented.

“They fly low after rain because the insects do the same”, Bayley explained.

“Really?”

Bickslow nodded. “Yea. You can get an idea of how likely it is to rain based on how low certain birds fly.”

“I never knew.”

It was a slow and cosy afternoon on the balcony, but eventually Bickslow and Laxus finished their beer and bid their neighbour farewell. Returning home, Bickslow checked the time and sighed.

“Shit.”

“What’s wrong?”, Laxus wondered.

“I haven’t done my homework yet.”

“So what? Your grades are stellar. One assignment won’t make or break you.”

“True, but if I don’t stay on top, I could loose my spot”, Bickslow argued.

He threw his jacket onto the hook and went straight for this book bag.

“You mean your score?”, Laxus frowned.

“Yea, my score at the top of the school. You think I got there by making exceptions? I have a plan and I intend to stick to it, time off or no.”

Taking the history textbook, he flopped onto the couch and opened it. Laxus frowned. He knew for a fact that there was nothing due in history before Wednesday next week. This was for the cross-class debate, wasn’t it? Bickslow always won. He knew every textbook forwards and backwards. No one stood a chance. So this is how he did it, huh? It seemed a bit excessive. The debate didn’t even factor into their grade. It was supposed to be ‘fun’.

“You know, you don’t have to be the smartest fuck in the room all of the time”, Laxus teased.

Bickslow scoffed at him. Laxus was surprised. He had hit a nerve, hadn’t he?

“I was just joking.”

“I know.”

Bickslow sounded so sour. Laxus took a seat beside him and inspected him closely. Bickslow tried to ignore him, but the tension in him was evident.

“I’m sorry if that was below the belt. I didn’t realise.”

“It’s fine”, Bickslow mumbled.

He glanced at Laxus for a split second and then sighed into his book.

“If I’m not smart then what the fuck am I?”, he mumbled.

Laxus’s eyebrows raised. “What? You are amazing!”

“Yea right.”

“Bickslow. Look at me.”

Sighing, Bickslow looked up.

“You are so kind and hard working and soft.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

So Bickslow said, but Laxus could see a smile creeping onto his face. Determined, Laxus doubled down.

“I’m not. I might be a dickhead, but I am no liar.”

“I didn’t say that you are.”

“You’d better not”, Laxus teased.

Bickslow couldn’t help but smile. “Zounderkite.”

“Come here”, Laxus urged.

“What?”, Bickslow frowned.

Laxus urged him closer again so he gave in and moved. He was surprised when Laxus simply wrapped him into a tight hug and held him. Squeezed in Laxus’s arms, Bickslow made himself comfortable. Resting his head against Laxus’s chest, and kept reading.


	13. Team

“What’s up with you and Bickslow anyway? You’re still seeing him, right?”

Laxus sighed deeply. It was just a matter of time before the topic came up again, but he had hoped it would take a little longer than this.

“So?”, he grumbled.

“Are you fucking him or something?”, Trevor teased.

Laxus rolled his eyes. Did Trevor never tire of repeating himself? He still seemed to find the whole situation hilarious even after getting decked. Laxus didn’t understand it. Trevor did get away with less injuries than Laxus in the end, but he didn’t know that. Laxus had elected not to ask why he wasn’t angry. It didn’t have to make sense. He was just a jackass.

“No”, Laxus answered firmly.

“Then why are you going home with him all the time? Are you guys close?”, Markus inquired.

“I live there”, Laxus admitted.

Taking the rubber band from his locker, he stashed it in his backpack. It felt silly to keep wearing it. It’s not like he needed the reminder at this point. They had made up, properly and entirely. It was all good.

“What?”, Markus asked bewildered.

“You heard me”, Laxus said sharply.

“You live with that cocksucker?”, Trevor asked baffled.

Laxus spun around and glared at him. “Call him that one more time and I will fucking end you.”

“Enough”, Edward reprimanded.

“You don't think he is? I guarantee, he is”, Trevor chuckled.

That asshole really didn’t learn, did he? Laxus balled his hand into a fist. He didn’t want to be a violent person. He didn’t want to believe that it had rubbed off on him. And he definitively didn’t want to get suspended again, but fuck if he was going to listen to Trevor’s bullshit any longer.

“What he is, is one of the most intelligent people at this god-dammed college. And he's my friend. If you run your fucking mouth, say anything against him ever again, I swear to god…” Laxus came closer, forcing Trevor to take a step back. “If you as much as bump into him, I will hurt you. And I'm not just talking about my fist finding your face again. I will fucking end you. Clear?”

Trevor hesitated for a split second, but then he scowled back. “Fuck you.”

“You're not my type”, Laxus spat before grabbing his bag and leaving the changing room.

Trevor looked after him wide eyed. “What the hell? You don't think Laxus is a homo too?”

“Who knows?”, Edward shrugged.

“Who cares?”, Markus asked firmly.

“Why? You wanna join in?”, Trevor mocked.

Markus stood and backed him into the lockers. “Man, fuck you. You don’t have to act like a fucking ape all of the time. It’s not funny any more. Joke’s over. Just shut your mouth and leave them alone. We don’t need any more fucking fights.”

“Oh, you wanna share a shower with a faggot?”, Trevor challenged.

“Rather than with you”, Markus sneered.

“You like dick too?”

“Enough already!”, Edward barked.

Trevor turned to him with a glare. “You don't fucking tell me what to do!”

Edward slammed his hand against the lockers. Everyone jerked in surprise. Edward never lost his cool. That’s why he was the captain despite not being the quarterback. Edward was cool headed and strategic. Now he was fuming. There was perfect silence in the changing room.

“It's simple, really. You shut up and deal with your homophobia on your own time or you get the fuck out and don't come back.”

“You can't decide that”, Trevor stated.

“The team can”, Edward reminded him.

Trevor looked around. The men crossed their arms over their chests, meeting his eyes with firm stares. The team had decided. Whether it was due to personal conviction or for the sake of the team, they weren’t about to vote against their captain nor their quarterback.

“This is bullshit”, Trevor argued.

“Just shut up already”, Markus sighed.

“Are you serious?!”

“Don't we look it?”, Edward challenged.

“Fuck all of you cocksuckers!”, Trevor yelled before slamming his locker shut and storming out.

“Yea, walk! And don't fucking come back!”

“What an asshole”, Markus grumbled.

“Honestly.”

Edward took a seat and sighed deeply. Markus shook his head.

“What do we do about Laxus?”

“What do you mean?”, Edward asked.

“You know. We should talk to him, or something. Right?”

“Yea. Probably.” Leaning down, he began tugging at his shoe laces. “I’ll figure something out.”

Levy nudged Bickslow and he looked up from his notebook. She nodded at Laxus and Bickslow frowned. Inspecting Laxus for a moment, Bickslow realised that he wasn’t reading at all. He was just staring down at the textbook in silence. Poking his hand, Bickslow got his attention.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Laxus?”, Bickslow insisted.

Sighing, Laxus gave up on his charade. “I got a message earlier that practice is cancelled. We're having a meeting instead. With what happened yesterday, I can only guess what about.”

“What happened?”, Lucy asked.

“I might have threatened Trevor that I would end him”, Laxus admitted.

To his surprise, no one gaped scandalised or as much as frowned.

“Why?”, Lucy wondered.

“Because he can't keep his fucking mouth shut, that's why.”

“Do I need to bring my whip?”

Laxus huffed a laugh. “No. That’s alright.”

“What do you think is going to happen?”, Bickslow asked.

Laxus shrugged. “I don't know.”

“Worst case scenario?”, Levy prompted.

“I get kicked off the team and loose the my free spot for next semester. Without my dad’s money, I’ll have to find a job and save up before I can even think about going back to school.”

Levy nodded in understanding. “That would suck.”

“Yea”, Laxus sighed.

“Do you want us to come with you?”, Bickslow offered.

“You would do that?”

“Of course”, Levy said at once. “Like we said, we’re here for you.”

Laxus considered it for a moment. “I don't know. It would be a little awkward.”

“You do what you want and need to, but know that you have backup”, Levy said softly.

“Thanks.”

Returning his attention to his textbook, Laxus finally got to reading a few paragraphs. He took some notes to summarise them and then sighed again. This was really weighing him down. He hesitated, playing with his pen between his fingers.

“Actually, I would like it if you could come with me. Just… Don't listen to what they say. It's like we're not even playing football, but rather a game of who's the greatest bigot.”

“Don't worry. I'm sure they don’t have the creativity nor vocabulary to come up with anything new”, Bickslow jested.

An hour later, they were walking down to the gym. Laxus felt a lot better with backup. He could imagine the four of them walking across campus in slow motion, Lucy and Levy wearing their protective gear, and Bickslow with a fabulous eye shadow. It would look badass as hell. That mental picture gave Laxus some calm. He exhaled slowly and lifted his head. Passing the locker rooms, they found the gathered team sitting on the mats.

“Laxus! You came”, Markus smiled.

Looking around, Laxus wondered, “Where's Trevor?”

“We kicked him out.”

“What? Why?”, Laxus frowned.

“Why do you think? He was being abusive against another member of the team. It's against the rules.”

“So was I, though”, Laxus pointed out. “Is that why we are here?”

“No. Relax, we're on your side”, Edward said.

“Really?”, Laxus asked sceptically.

“Yea. You didn't think we were?”

Laxus shrugged a little. “It's not like he was the only one to talk shit.”

“That was just banter.”

“It wasn't to me.”

“You participated”, Markus argued.

Laxus tensed. “Because I was…” The words got stuck in his throat.

Bickslow placed a hand on his arm, nodding in encouragement. Glancing over at Lucy and Levy, Laxus steeled himself. Fuck it. All or nothing. Everyone knew already, or could at least guess. Here it goes.

“I was scared, aright? What will happen if I disagree? I will get called those names. And then I did disagree and that is exactly what happened. You kept talking about it, poking fun at me. And what if I defend myself? What will happen? How bad will it be? Because I sure as fuck wouldn't be welcomed the way I was before. Right? That’s exactly what happened. How was I to know how many of you would side with Trevor? How could I go against the grain? What if I have to leave the team? Where does that leave me?”

Markus looked down at the floor in shame. “Man, I'm so sorry.”

“Yea. Me too”, Edward nodded. “I didn't think there was someone gay in the room.”

“So what? Because there isn't one in the room that makes it okay?”, Bickslow challenged. “As long as there isn't a faggot around to be offended, it's okay to use the word?”

The team members exchanged awkward glances.

“You boys need to grow the fuck up”, Lucy stated. “You wanna banter, do it without making someone else the bud of your joke. And yea, I know you talk about us cheerleaders as well. Why do you think our teams never hang out? We know, and we’re not laughing. Wake up.”

“It won't happen again. Right boys?”, Markus asked.

They shook their heads.

“This is exactly why we are talking today”, Edward explained. “Clearly, we haven’t been a very good team. You have every right to be angry. Fuck, you should be angry. So what do you need from us? What can we do?”

“I need you to never use those slurs again. I need you to not act weird around me after this. I’m me. I haven’t changed. Nothing has changed. I need you to just be normal. And…” Laxus looked at Bickslow. “I need a reserved spot near the field.”

“Done”, Edward confirmed at once.

“You want me to start coming to your games?”, Bickslow asked.

“Only if you want.”

Bickslow couldn’t care less about football, but he loved that Laxus wanted him there. He nodded a little. “I’d love to.”

Laxus smiled over both ears. He could feel his heart leap in his chest. Bickslow agreed! He was so happy! It was silly, really. Focused on Bickslow, he barely noticed Markus coming closer and was caught by surprise when Markus pulled him into a crushing hug. Laxus froze in the strong embrace. The team huddled, but they never hugged, not like this, tightly, like they meant it. He hugged back.

“Group hug!”, Bickslow called and wrapped an arm around them both.

The others laughed but then joined in as well. Levy and Lucy refused participation until Edward urged them along. With everyone gathered into one big mess, Edward smiled.

“We’ll do better. We’ve got you. We’re a team.”


	14. Sportball

Bickslow tried his best not to stare, but it was a difficult task when Laxus looked so fierce. All the padding in his uniform really accentuated his arms and thighs. Not to mention how tight those trousers were. Helmet in hand, Laxus looked over the field with determination. Bickslow jerked when cold metal met his cheek. Finding Levy holding out a can of soda, he accepted it with a grin.

“Thanks!”

“So you’re into sports now, hm?”, Levy asked.

Bickslow refused to acknowledge her knowing smile. Just because he was here to cheer Laxus on, and Laxus was objectively handsome, that didn’t mean he was checking Laxus out. He was, of course, but that was beside the point.

“Of course. I love watching men hunt balls”, he said, cracking the can open.

Laxus chuckled and turned around. Bickslow shrugged innocently and took a sip from his soda.

“Good luck hunting your eggball”, Levy encouraged.

“It’s football”, Laxus grumbled.

“Eggball. Sportball. Whatever.”

Lucy laughed heartedly. Patting Laxus on the arm, she gave him a wink. “Show em, Stud.”

“Thanks.”

Taking Levy’s hand, Lucy headed along the bleachers. Laxus looked after the two of them for a moment. Lucy was so confident, walking with her girlfriend in the middle of school. They shared a kiss before Levy sat down in the audience and Lucy made her way to the rest of the cheerleaders.

Noticing another familiar face in the crowd, Laxus tensed. He turned around at once. His heart was beating hard in his chest. Bickslow placed a hand on his shoulder.

“What's wrong?”

“What the hell is my father doing here? He never comes to my games. Never. What the fuck?”

“Relax. Maybe he just wanted to see you. Just play and focus on that. If you need me, I'm right here. And Levy and Lucy too. And your team. We will all back you up if you need it. Trust in that. You're safe. It's okay.”

Laxus took a deep breath. “You're right. Yea. He’ll probably just watch and then walk away.”

Edward called and Laxus turned away before stopping and turning again, resulting in a 360 degree spin. Bickslow chuckled.

“Alright there?”

“I have a weird question”, Laxus began.

“Shoot.”

“Would you mind if I uh… Can I kiss you?” Laxus cringed and added at once, “You can just say no.” He shook his head. “That was stupid. I know it’s all jokes. I'm sorry. I'll never ask again.”

Bickslow's eyebrows raised. He kept making little flirtatious jokes since they moved in together and Laxus never complained, but he hadn’t thought Laxus would actually take any of it seriously. Laxus Dreyar wanted to kiss him? What in the world was happening? Was he that good at flirting? No, he was a goof. There had to be a different explanation.

“No. I mean, yea. That's fine. I'd like that. But why?”, he wondered.

“Because he is watching. And everyone else too. Everyone is watching.”

Bickslow nodded in understanding. He licked his lips nervously and Laxus took a measured breath. Stepping closer, he placed one hand on Bickslow's cheek. His heart was fluttering in his chest. It was like he had already played the entire game. Adrenaline was rushing through him. Bickslow was so fucking pretty. So close, those dark red eyes focused entirely on him, and a smile tugging at the slim lips, he was so freaking beautiful. Leaning in, Laxus closed his eyes. He felt Bickslow's breath on his face and it was simultaneously the most awkward and the most amazing moment of his life. Bickslow sniggered a little and he stopped, looking back at the other man.

“Did I do something wrong?”, he asked quietly.

Bickslow almost whispered in answer. “No. You're doing fine. You're just red over both ears.”

With that comment, Laxus became aware of it. The heat on his face had to be a deep blush. He blushed right in front of Bickslow. He really was embarrassed. And scared? Of what, he couldn't tell any more. It wasn't just the fact that his father could see, or anyone else for that matter. It was just him. He was scared of liking this. He wanted to like it. He already knew he would. Since when was he such a fucking coward?

Cupping Bickslow's face with both hands, he pressed his lips onto Bickslow’s and confirmed it. He did like it. A lot. It was the best kiss he had ever given or received, awkwardness and all. Bickslow let his hands rest on Laxus's hips and leaned in to the tender contact. Kissing back, he parted his lips lightly. Laxus was inclined to push Bickslow against the balusters, stick his tongue down the man's throat and never let go. They were still in public, though, and he had a game to play. Pulling back, he couldn't help but smile over both ears.

“Thanks.”

“Zounderkite.”

Laxus chuckled. He pressed his forehead against Bickslow's. Meeting the mesmerising eyes, he requested, “Watch me.”

“That's why I'm here.”

“No, I mean… don't take your eyes off me. Please. Today, just watch me. No matter what. I need to know that you're watching me.”

Bickslow smiled softly. “I will. I promise. I will watch you. So be safe in that knowledge.”

“Thank you.”

Bickslow didn't care much for competitive sports, eggball included, but he watched with full attention. He had promised. Laxus needed him. Whenever Laxus lost focus, he glanced back to where Bickslow sat and they exchanged a smile. That helped just enough to get Laxus’s head back in the game despite the anxiety of knowing who else was here, watching him.

When Laxus walked off the field, Bickslow handed him a water bottle. “You were great.”

“I was okay”, Laxus shrugged.

“Honestly, I couldn't tell either way.”

Laxus laughed. He drank greedily and sighed. “I need a shower.”

Bickslow patted him on the shoulder. “Yea you do. Have fun partying.”

“You're not coming?”, Markus asked. “We’re going to open a keg. The cheerleading team is coming too. It’ll be fun!”

Bickslow was surprised by the invitation, but he quickly regained his composure and shook his head. “With you straight bunch? No way in hell.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”, Markus chuckled.

“You should come out with us some night and I’ll show you”, Bickslow quipped.

Now Markus was the one looking bewildered. His eyes darted between Bickslow, Laxus, and Lucy. Laxus looked just as surprised, but Lucy nodded in encouragement.

“You’re alright, Man”, Markus grinned.

“You’re not too much of an ass yourself”, Bickslow said, getting a good laugh.

Winking at Laxus, Bickslow turned away. “I'll see you at home.”

“Yea”, Laxus mumbled.

He was just a little disappointed that Bickslow wasn’t coming with them. He wouldn't have minded to go home as well and spend the evening in the calm of Bickslow’s little apartment, but partying was pretty much an obligation after a win.

Markus nudged him and grinned. “Are you sure you two aren't dating?”

“Oh shut up”, Laxus sneered.

Markus raised his hands defensively. “I'm just asking. He's a good catch, isn't he?”

Laxus looked in the direction Bickslow had left, but couldn't spot him in the crowd. Bickslow was a hell of a lot more than a good catch. He was fantastic. He was bold and brilliant and kind. He was everything.

“Yea. He is.”

Markus smiled and draped an arm over Laxus’s shoulder. “So you like him at least a little?”

“Maybe”, Laxus admitted. “I don't know.”

“Since when are you so timid?”

“Just leave it”, Laxus hissed.

“Okay, okay. I'm leaving it”, Markus chuckled. Leaning in, he added, “But we all saw that kiss. That wasn’t nothing.”

“Tsk. Whatever.”

At least his father had left as well. He didn’t come by to say hi or anything. It felt final somehow. Laxus had a new place now, a place where he fit. It was time to let the past go, to let his father walk away and not look for him.

It was time to live.


	15. Kiss

Laxus returned late in the evening. Bickslow closed his textbook and smiled at the victor returning from his feast. Laxus dropped his bag with a sigh and then downed two glasses of water before turning to him.

“This might sound weird…”

“Are you going to ask me for another kiss?”, Bickslow joked.

“Yea, actually. That is kind of what I was going for.”

“Oh. Uhm, okay. But why?”, Bickslow wondered.

Laxus shrugged.

“You're going to have to do better than a shrug if you want this”, Bickslow teased, motioning at himself.

Laxus rinsed his glass and put it aside. Why another kiss? Because it was so hard to pull back. Because Bickslow was so ridiculously pretty. Because Bickslow was smart and attractive and because Laxus couldn't stop thinking about his lips all evening. Laxus licked his lips and came closer. He couldn't say all that. It was too much.

“I just… It felt really good.”

“It did”, Bickslow concurred. He got up and crooked an eyebrow. “Well?”

Laxus took his hand, pulling him into the middle of the room. This time, Bickslow was the one who blushed. Laxus wanted to kiss him before as his way of coming out, a loud fuck you to anyone that watched. Now it was in private, just the two of them. It was a kiss for the sake of a kiss. And it was Laxus. The stormy quarterback Laxus Dreyar wanted to kiss him in private.

Laxus brought his hands up to Bickslow’s face again, caressing his cheeks. Drawing measured breath, Bickslow did his best to upkeep his façade of calm. He closed his eyes, just in case. The first thing he felt was Laxus's breath on his skin. Then their noses nudged a little. And finally the soft lips were on his again. Bickslow exhaled softly and it came out as a hum.

Parting his lips, he felt Laxus do the same. Reaching up, he entwined his fingers in the blond hair and slipped his tongue past Laxus’s lips. Laxus’s reaction was better than he could have hoped for. Laxus groaned at the back of his throat and moved one arm down to wrap around Bickslow’s waist, holding him tight. Feeling Laxus pressed up against himself like this, Bickslow lost his cool. Tilting his head, he pressed his tongue against Laxus’s. He noticed the way Laxus pushed his hips forward in answer. So arousing. He hummed into the kiss again.

Laxus couldn't believe his luck. Bickslow was not just kissing back. They were making out. He was making out with Bickslow! He held on to the slender hips. Bickslow was pressing in on him, not holding back in the least. Encouraged, Laxus slipped his hands under the thick pullover. Bickslow’s skin was so warm, so soft, so smooth. He urged Bickslow backwards and met no resistance until he had Bickslow pinned against the wall. The elegant fingers were still entangled in his hair with enthusiasm.

Feeling eager, Laxus kissed along Bickslow’s jaw and neck. Bickslow titled his head back in bliss and Laxus took the cue, staying right there and kissing the warm skin over and over. He wanted more, so much more. He wanted all of Bickslow. Pressing himself tightly against Bickslow, he ended up slipping one leg between Bickslow’s and felt the way Bickslow’s fingers tightened in his hair. He rolled his hips on instinct and Bickslow moaned against his ear. Laxus felt so hot all of a sudden. Bickslow was so arousing. He could feel something pressing against him through the homey blue slacks. Bickslow was hard, and so was he, dreadfully hard and horny. Rolling his hips again, he moaned against Bickslow’s neck.

“Wait. Wait.”

Laxus let go at once. Had he gone too far? Stepping back, he felt his chest constrict.

“Sorry.”

Bickslow shook his head. “No. It’s fine. It's just that…” Bickslow took a moment to catch his breath. He leaned back against the wall and sighed. “You're drunk. You've been partying and…”

“I'm not”, Laxus protested.

Bickslow gave him an unbelieving look. “I can taste the vodka on you.”

“I had one shot and a beer. One small shot. At the very end. I'm sober. Or very lightly tipsy at worst. I'm fine. I promise”, Laxus insisted.

Bickslow eyed him sceptically. Laxus hesitated. Was he taking away Bickslow’s excuse? Why would he need one, though? Wasn’t he comfortable with simply saying no?

“But we can stop if you don't want to do this of course.”

Bickslow huffed a little before giving up on repressing his emotions and laughing out loud.

“Did I say something weird?”, Laxus wondered.

“No, not at all. I just can't believe you actually wanna sleep with me.”

Laxus shied back a step, shoulders tense and a frown on his face. Bickslow snapped out of his amusement in an instant. Taking a hold of Laxus, he shook his head.

“Not like that! What I mean is, I am a nerd. I spend more time with books than I do with people. And yet you, you, want to sleep with me. You're the quarterback for fucks sake. I mean look at you. You're huge. You’re gorgeous. You could have anyone. It seems unreal. A good kind of unreal, but still a little unreal.”

Now Laxus laughed as well.

“I always thought the opposite. Why would a beautiful and brilliant guy like you wanna be with some stupid schmuck like me? What the fuck could I ever offer a guy like you?”

Bickslow looked back at him with an amused smile. Pushing off from the wall, he slipped a finger into the belt lops of Laxus’s trousers. Tugging him close, Bickslow smirked, and Laxus felt his heart skip a beat.

“So… You really want to?”

“Yea”, Laxus nodded. He took a hold of Bickslow’s hips again. “You?”

“You have no idea how much.”

Bickslow took initiative now, kissing Laxus firmly. He was suddenly far more assertive. He turned them around and pressed Laxus against the same section of wall where he had been just a moment ago. He met Laxus’s eyes and slowly began unbuttoning his shirt. Laxus felt like he was going to melt. He held on to Bickslow’s hips and watched in awe how Bickslow’s eyes travelled down his body, exploring every centimetre of skin that was revealed.

Bickslow was in no hurry. He had seen Laxus half naked before, but he had never taken the liberty to really look. Now he feasted his eyes. First when he had removed the shirt entirely, did he start to touch. Sliding his hands over the muscles, he sighed softly. How the hell had he managed to attract this guy? Leaning in, he kissed Laxus’s chest, right over the swirling tribal tattoo, and Laxus inhaled sharply.

“Fuck you're muscular”, Bickslow commented.

“You're not half bad yourself”, Laxus said at once.

Bickslow stood back just long enough to tug his pullover and t-shirt off. He did it in one fluid motion and dropped the clothes to the floor. It was obviously practised. Laxus had to admit, it was very sexy. He ought to learn that move. Looking down over himself shortly before meeting Laxus’s eyes again, Bickslow smirked.

“I try to keep up with my exercises.”

Smooth. Laxus smiled amused. Reaching out, he ran his hands over the tan skin. How he had longed to touch Bickslow like this. Even though they were sharing a bed, they never cuddled much, not since that first night. Bickslow was so lean. Laxus wondered just what his routine was. Whether it was a question of taste, fitness, or money, he always ate very healthfully, but that was only one part of the equation.

“You're always about done when I arrive at the gym in the mornings”, Laxus commented.

“I don't like it when there are others around. I only work out for the health benefit. Healthy body healthy mind”, Bickslow shrugged.

“Nerd.” For once, Laxus meant that as a compliment.

Taking a hold of his hair, Bickslow pulled him into a kiss. Bickslow’s lips parted again and he realised he was matching it. Their tongues met and a pleased groan left him. Bickslow was being so passionate. Laxus leaned back against the wall for stability. When Bickslow pulled back, mischief sparkled in his eyes.

Placing one hand on Laxus's chest, he pressed Laxus firmer against the wall. Satisfied that he had Laxus where he wanted him, Bickslow slid to his knees. It was an elegant descent. Laxus was convinced everything he did was practised to perfection. He reached for Laxus’s belt and Laxus’s heart fluttered in his chest. Definitely perfection.

Freeing Laxus’s cock, Bickslow stuck his tongue out playfully. “My my. Not bad.”

If he wasn’t before, Laxus was definitively blushing now. Bickslow tugged at his clothes to get them further down his legs and then leaned up, placing a kiss on his hip. Now his cock was really paying attention. Laxus bit his lip. He was a little embarrassed about how reactive he was being. He felt like putty under Bickslow’s hands. Maybe that was normal? Bickslow didn’t seem to think anything of it.

Bickslow came real close, looked up, and holding Laxus’s gaze, pressed his tongue against the base, dragging it up all the way to the tip where he offered the glans a nip that sent a shiver up Laxus's spine. Laxus closed his eyes for a moment. Swallowing hard, he looked back down. Bickslow was so pretty, and he was on his knees, right here, better than in any fantasy.

Pleased with the reaction, Bickslow opened his mouth and took Laxus in. Laxus's head snapped up and he gasped. So good! Bickslow was done playing now. He bobbed his head and Laxus felt wave after wave of pleasure crash in over him. He moaned loudly. Maybe a little too loudly for this time of night. Bickslow took a measured breath and dipped his head until his nose met the patch of blond hair nestled at the root and Laxus clawed at the wall behind himself.

“Oh gods.”

Humming, Bickslow cradled his balls, and he came in a deep groan. Bickslow pulled away and a pulse of cum landed on his cheek. Cupping a hand over the tip of Laxus’s dick to steer the rest clear of his face, he stroked the other firmly along Laxus’s shaft and watched him arch.

Laxus leaned back and stared into empty space for a few seconds. His chest was heaving in deep breaths and his mind was fuzzy. Glancing down, he found Bickslow looking somewhat amused and ruffled. There was a streak of white on his face. Laxus was so embarrassed. He didn’t even warn Bickslow.

“Sorry. I wasn’t expecting that.”

Bickslow chuckled. Getting up, he ran his thumb over his cheek, catching the stray cum, and then licked it off his hand with a theatrical moan.

“Don't worry. I very much enjoyed that.”

Laxus was bright red.

“You did?”

Bickslow nodded. Holding his sticky hand well out of the way, he leaned in and kissed Laxus hungrily. Laxus could taste himself on the moist lips, salty, slightly tangy. He groaned in arousal.

When the kiss broke, Bickslow emphasised, “Very much.”

He went to wash his hand in the sink before picking up their clothes and dropping them closer to the couch instead. He flopped down on it with a happy sigh. Smiling over at Laxus, he reached down, massaging himself through his slacks. He was sure confident. Laxus stepped out of the rest of his clothes and gathered those onto the heap as well before sitting down beside Bickslow. He watched the nimble hand work, caressing the outline of Bickslow’s dick thought the cloth.

“Should I… do something?”

“If you want to.”


	16. Want To

Laxus let his eyes rake down the tan skin of Bickslow’s stomach until they found the soft blue trousers again. Reaching down, he untied the band and urged the cloth out of the way. Bickslow helped out, undressing himself and kicking the clothes to the floor. Once they were both entirely naked, he climbed atop Laxus.

Straddling Laxus, Bickslow smirked. There was that cocky attitude again, like he thought he was so much smarter. It used to irritate Laxus, but now it was just so fucking gorgeous, because Bickslow wasn’t elitist at all. He was just confident, and he had every reason to be.

Looking down, Laxus saw his dick, hard and tempting. Laxus was mildly surprised that the hair was such a dark blue it almost looked black. He ran his hands up the long legs before daring it. He ghosted his fingers over the tip of Bickslow’s cock. Wrapping them around, he stroked down, marvelling at the sensation, the way it felt in his hand. Bickslow just smiled and held still, allowing him to explore freely.

Laxus moved his hand, tightening his grip over time, and Bickslow sighed in delight. He draped his arms over Laxus’s shoulders and Laxus closed the distance between them, kissing him. Soft experimental touches soon became eager and impatient. Laxus wrapped his left arm around Bickslow’s mid and held him close while he hummed against the intoxicating lips. Bickslow’s breathing grew laboured. In the end he turned his head away to break the kiss and looked at Laxus with longing.

“Lick my ear.”

“What?”

“Lick my ear.”

Leaning up, Laxus did. He ran his tongue along the pinna and Bickslow shuddered. Amused, Laxus caught Bickslow’s earlobe between his lips and chuckled. Bickslow brought his hands up, entwining them in Laxus’s hair. His patient stillness was forgotten. He urged himself forward into Laxus’s hand with breathy moans. Laxus sat back to get a better view. Bickslow was so ridiculously sexy like that. His skin was flushed and his eyes half lidded.

Seeing Bickslow rolling his hips, Laxus hesitated. His eyes were fixed on the movement, the tension in Bickslow’s muscles, Bickslow’s dick sliding between his fingers. He wanted to feel it, not just in his hand, but he wasn’t sure he could do that. What if it hurt? He had heard that it could. He wasn’t even sure if Bickslow would be into that. Or maybe he would want it to be the other way around? It was all a bit too much right now. Laxus wasn’t ready. He knew he wasn’t. But there was a different way to have Bickslow inside of him. How should he ask that? Wasn’t that awkward? To hell with it. This was Bickslow. It didn’t matter if he was a fool around Bickslow.

“I want to taste you.”

Bickslow’s lips curled into a bright smile. “Oh? By all means.”

He got off Laxus and sat down beside him instead. Leaning back, he placed a hand behind his back and stroked himself with the other. He looked so eager. Laxus was dead nervous, but just as eager. Finding it awkward to try and lean down, he moved to the floor instead. Bickslow shifted forward until he was sitting right at the edge of his seat. Spreading his legs, he invited Laxus between them.

Coming closer, Laxus took a hold of Bickslow’s cock again. Sitting up on his knees, he leaned in and made the attempt. He wasn’t sure what he had expected dick to taste like, but it wasn’t all that intense. It tasted like skin, like licking a neck or tasting someone’s lips when there wasn’t the flavour of alcohol or food on them. Wrapping his lips around the tip, he got a hint of salt, much like cum. The very thought of Bickslow coming in his mouth made Laxus feel all hot and bothered.

Bobbing his head, he tried to imitate what Bickslow had done. It did seem Bickslow enjoyed the treatment. He was relaxed and breathing hard. One hand tangled in Laxus’s hair again, urging him to pick up the pace. Laxus tired. He held onto Bickslow’s legs while he let that firm hand lead him. He did his best, but the unfamiliar motion quickly grew strenuous.

Sitting back, Laxus sighed and rubbed a hand over his neck. Bickslow huffed a laugh and stroked himself, fast and firm. Seeing his chance slip through his fingers, Laxus leaned in again. To his surprise, Bickslow drew his hand from behind his back and took Laxus’s chin, holding him back.

“I want to taste you”, Laxus said.

The words left him before he had the chance to think about it. And thank god for that, because there was no way he would have dared to say them had he thought about it first. Bickslow stilled. He looked surprised, but quickly regained his composure and grinned over both ears.

“You want me to come over your tongue?”

Sure he was red to the tips of his ears, Laxus nodded. Bickslow sat up. Leaning forward, he firmed his hold on Laxus’s chin and brought his face down, right under his cock.

“Stick it out”, he instructed.

Opening his mouth, Laxus watched in awe as Bickslow got off above him, stroking himself and hissing through clenched teeth. He was surprised that Bickslow would be so assertive, so firm. He would have expected it to be embarrassing to sit at someone's feet with his tongue out like this, but with Bickslow’s eager eyes on him, it felt just right. This was exactly where he wanted to be.

Bickslow moaned. “So hot. I’m so close.”

Laxus held perfectly still. Bickslow groaned and shuddered, coming into his mouth. Surprised with the amount, Laxus held a hand under his chin to catch the viscus fluid before it dripped down. When Bickslow let go of him, he closed his mouth and swallowed hard. It was a curios sensation, oddly dry despite it all. The taste left something to be desired, but Laxus couldn't care less. He felt proud. Was that weird? He felt proud for swallowing Bickslow down. He glanced up and found Bickslow watching him with a curious air, like he wasn’t entirely sure what to make of Laxus any more. Stroking cum off his chin, Laxus couldn't help but smile amused. Bickslow chuckled.

“I’ll get you something to clean up with.”

Pushing himself out of the couch, Bickslow grabbed some paper towels from the kitchen and handed them to him. Wiping the rest of the cum off, Laxus began feeling embarrassed instead. He had seriously just done that! He not only came on Bickslow’s face, he sat on the floor and swallowed Bickslow’s cum. He wasn’t sure when, if ever, his blush would retreat again. His face felt far too warm. All of him felt far too warm.

“I need a shower”, he mumbled.

Bickslow laughed aloud. Offering a hand, he helped Laxus back on his feet.

“I gotta admit, I did not see that coming. Pun intended.”

Laxus rolled his eyes. Lame. “Yea. Me neither.”

“Get your pretty ass in the shower then so we can cuddle after.”

Laxus turned around to do so and jerked when Bickslow gave his butt an affectionate squeeze before flopping back down on the couch. Doubting that his blush was going to go away any time soon, Laxus closed the bathroom door behind himself. He stepped into the shower and leaned against the cold tiles.

Wow. His heart was beating so hard. He closed his eyes and sighed. Then he laughed. He didn’t know why. Blame it on the adrenaline. Turning the water on, he groaned. The cold water felt so soothing now. Rubbing a hand over his face, he sighed again. Whatever got into him when he kissed Bickslow, he was glad it did. He felt like he had leapt off a cliff, and he had no intentions of ever going back. Not that there had ever been an honest doubt in his mind, but now he knew for sure that this was the right thing. This was where he belonged. With Bickslow.

Feeling refreshed, Laxus returned to the living room and found Bickslow lounging naked on their mattress. Naturally, he had already cleaned up and properly put their clothes away. Since Bickslow hadn’t, Laxus didn’t bother putting on any underwear, either, before lying down and pulling a blanket over them. Smiling lazily, Bickslow rolled over and draped a leg over Laxus’s.

Lying face to face with Bickslow after all that, Laxus didn’t feel nervous any more. He reached out and rested a hand on Bickslow's hip. Bickslow in turn rested a hand on Laxus’s neck, playing with the short hairs there. So they stayed, just looking at another for a long while. What a simple yet marvellous thing it was, feeling someone’s skin against your own and just looking at them, meeting their eyes. Laxus ran the events of the past half hour in his head again. He wondered.

“Can I ask you something?”

“What?”

“Does it hurt to… you know.”

“To what?”, Bickslow asked.

“Bottom.”

“No.”

“No?”, Laxus asked surprised. “Not even a little?”

Bickslow shook his head. “It's not supposed to. If it does, something is off. For some people it is really hard to relax into it. For others it comes easy. Some find that they like fucking so hard it hurts. Others take it slow and adjust as soon as there is the least bit of discomfort. It's simply different for everyone. But it's not supposed to hurt unless you specifically want it to. Sex is never supposed to hurt unless you want it to. That goes for everyone.”

“I see”, Laxus mumbled.

He ran his hand up Bickslow’s stomach and chest, resting it there. How was Bickslow so perfect? His skin was ridiculously smooth. The short hairs on his chest were all soft. Laxus pressed his nose against Bickslow’s arm and inhaled the scent of him, wood and books, and now sex.

“I missed you today”, Laxus mumbled.

Bickslow shifted a little to get a better look at his face again. “You did?”

Laxus nodded. “I wished you would have come to the kegger.”

“Not my thing”, Bickslow shrugged.

“Why not?”

Bickslow drew an uncomfortable breath. Seeing the distant look in his eyes, Laxus felt a little bad for asking.

“You don’t have to tell me”, he said.

“It’s fine. I had some bad experiences at college parties. I’m just not comfortable with it. I’d much rather go home and read.”

“Is it because of the team?”, Laxus wondered.

He hoped not. He knew well that they had been anything but polite, and he didn’t expect anyone to forget and forgive, but the team was important to him and Bickslow was important to him. He didn’t want there to be tension between his two worlds. To his relief, Bickslow shook his head.

“Would you really be okay with Markus going out with us?”, Laxus pressed on.

“Of course. I’m not one to hold grudges. Lucy and Tommy are actually organising a hang in the woods for pride week. You could bring the whole team if you want.”

“That sounds great. I’d like you to get to know them better. They’re really not that…”

“Douchey?”, Bickslow suggested playfully.

“They are good guys when given the chance”, Laxus explained.

“Like you. Douchey on the outside, but only a little douchey on the inside”, Bickslow teased.

Laxus huffed a laugh. “Alright, I deserved that.”


	17. The Woods

Laxus watched the florescent ceiling lamp flicker before finally offering decent light. Turning his head, he observed Bickslow digging in some boxes. In this sad basement there were rows and rows of wire cages acting as extra storage for the tenants. Bickslow said it used to be a bunker. The age of the building and the thickness of the metal doors leading down here made that quite plausible. Laxus was distinctly uncomfortable. Despite it being a large space, he felt somewhat claustrophobic ten metres under the ground and surrounded by cracked concrete.

“Aha!”, Bickslow called triumphantly.

Holding an old hiking backpack, he grinned. Setting it down, he checked the contents. A wind-up light. Matchsticks. Knife. An abused kettle. A pair of tongs. A tent…

“Just where are we going?”, Laxus asked.

“The woods.”

“The woods where?”

“North of the city.”

“Oh. That far?”

“What did you think? The local park?”

Laxus shrugged a little. Chuckling, Bickslow shook his head.

“It’s a throwback. When it wasn’t legal for us to show our love in the streets, we had the woods. There were camping trips every summer. Queer people would meet out there in the privacy of nature to party and hang. We’ll cook together, eat, sing, dance, talk, drink, sleep, anything, just as long as we’re there together and without any judging eyes on us.”

“So we’re going to be out there all weekend?”, Laxus asked.

“That’s the idea”, Bickslow answered, like that had been obvious.

“Right. I should tell the others.”

Packing the bag again, Bickslow smiled. “Don’t worry about it. Lucy has it handled. She gave Edward a packing list.”

“Oh. Okay.”

With the backpack fully stocked and by the door, Laxus washed the last few dishes before they had to leave. There was a knock on the door a few minutes past noon. Laxus went to open and found Bayley standing outside with a big bag and an even bigger smile.

“Our ride is here! Let’s go!”

“Coming!”, Bickslow called from inside the apartment.

Laxus turned around to find him in a pair of padded camouflage trousers and a bomber jacket. On his lids sparkled the same beautiful eye shadow he wore that night in The Box. Laxus fought the urge to pinch himself. With his rebellious hairstyle and the facial tattoo, Bickslow looked like a movie villain. A fabulous movie villain. The contrast between the outfit and the makeup was incredibly sexy. Now that he thought about it, Bayley was also dressed in firm clothes. He had chosen a pair of thick workman’s trousers and a strong jacket. An unnerving suspicion began creeping in on Laxus.

Dressed his leather trousers, jacket, and gloves as per Bickslow’s instructions, Laxus hefted their backpack down the stairs. Sure enough, outside waited three motorcycles and three figures dressed from head to toe in black protective gear. Lucy and Levy had come to pick them up, along with a man who seemed awfully familiar. It took Laxus a moment to place him. The man turned his head and a row of silver studs glimmered where his eyebrows ought to be. Just perfect. It was Gajeel Redfox. They had gotten into a fight some years ago during a school trip. Laxus didn’t even remember what about, but he remembered it didn’t end well. How awkward.

“I get Lev!”, Bayley declared at once.

“Then I’m with Lucy”, Bickslow said. Leaning in to Laxus, he teased, “Because I know she won’t let you anywhere near her unless you intend to get on your knees and apologise.”

“For what?”, Laxus asked quietly.

“Everything”, Bickslow chuckled.

He accepted a helmet from Lucy and draped his leg over the seat behind her. Laxus was really tense now. That left him and Redfox. Shit. Walking over, he smiled awkwardly.

“Hey.”

“Hey Dreyar”, Gajeel grinned. “Long time no see.”

“Guess we’re stuck with each other for this trip”, Laxus commented in an effort to dispel the tension.

Nodding, Gajeel offered him a helmet. It seemed Gajeel either didn’t remember or at least wasn’t willing to revisit the issue. Laxus exhaled in relief. Once he had put the helmet on, Gajeel held out a piece of gum. Bewildered, Laxus accepted it.

“It’s ginger”, Gajeel explained, chewing demonstratively.

Right. Gajeel had the same problem. They both suffered motion sickness on that boat. That’s why they had struck up a conversation to begin with. Chewing on the disgusting gum, Laxus nodded his thanks and got on the bike behind Gajeel. Gajeel grabbed his wrists and tugged him forward more until he had his arms wrapped tightly around Gajeel’s mid. The engine roared to life and Laxus cursed to himself. He held on hard and they set off.

As they sped down the main road, Bickslow let go of Lucy and held his hands up high, feeling the wind and giving an excited shout. Bayley laughed heartedly and waved at him. Laxus merely held on harder. He could feel Gajeel chuckle. At least the gum did help. Laxus wasn’t feeling dizzy at all. He glanced down, seeing the asphalt blur underneath them. This was kinda exciting, all things considered.

Levy honked and Laxus looked up to see a whole group of motorcycles and cars headed in the same direction as them. They mixed in with the pack and people waved at another. It was a merry band indeed. Some had rainbow flags attached to their vehicles and everyone was in a great mood. Laxus saw several pickup trucks, a dozen cruisers and off-roaders, multiple campers, and a bunch of city cars. Just how big was this gathering going to be?!

Half an hour later, they pulled into a rest stop at the edge of the city and met up with even more cars. Some of them, he did recognise. A dozen of his teammates actually came. Edward was driving his father’s mini van and had filled it to the brim. Markus brought the rest in his second hand hybrid. It was more than Laxus had expected after realising this was a themed camping trip rather than an evening of barbecue in the park.

The football players gaped when they saw Laxus-motion-sickness-Dreyar getting off a motorcycle without as much as wobbling. When Lucy took her helmet off and tugged at her pony tail, jaws really hit the floor. Laxus noticed the way she smirked to herself before smiling at the gathering.

“Glad you could make it.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world”, Edward responded cheerily. “Any chance I get to take a spin on that thing?”

“No”, Lucy stated dryly.

Laughing heartedly, Bickslow dismounted as well to stretch his legs. Laxus considered asking for the last seat in Markus’s car, but he was enjoying the surprised expressions a little too much. He understood why Lucy leaned in to it. There was something inherently satisfying about subverting expectations.

Once Tommy’s car arrived as well, they pressed on. The caravan of vehicles slowed down considerably when they steered onto a dirt road. Laxus didn’t care if Gajeel was amused any more. He held on tightly while the motorcycle tottered over the uneven ground. Finally they reached a clearing and everyone parked in a jumble.

As people emerged from their cars, there was an abundance of heartfelt reunions, hugs and kisses. Laxus had never seen the majority of these people and there didn’t appear to be any common theme. There were men and women in all sizes and styles mingling. Some were dressed finely despite the causal surroundings. Others were as unique as Bickslow. Hell, not even Bickslow stood out in this crowd. Laxus had to keep close to avoid loosing him in the sea of cheerful greetings.

Several smaller gatherings of tents and vehicles emerged in the woods. The Fairy Tail students created a circle of tents near an especially large pine tree. In the middle, Bayley stoked a fire. Gajeel flopped down on the ground nearby with Tommy and began strumming a guitar. Levy hummed along for a while before singing and Lucy watched her with such tender eyes. Laxus caught himself smiling. If this continued, he would end up with a permanent goofy look on his face.


	18. Beach

The water felt great. Laxus exhaled, stretched out, pushed the water back and propelled himself forward. He took another breath and weaved his arms forward under the surface again. It was meditative. Before he knew it, he was nearing the opposite shore. Turning around, he began swimming back. One breath, one move. Inhale. Arms. Exhale. Legs. The sound of the water gently licking against his skin mingled with occasional shouts from camp. It was so tranquil. Laxus was in no hurry. He took notice of everything, every motion and smell. He concentrated on the temperature of the water and the tension in his muscles, taking one swimming stroke at a time.

When he closed in on the beach again, it was nearly empty. Gajeel was still sitting in the grass butt naked, watching him. The dark red eyes stayed on him as he heaved himself out of the water and climbed over a boulder. When he was close enough, Gajeel threw a towel at him.

“Bickslow left it for you.”

“Where is he?”, Laxus wondered, pulling the towel around his shoulders.

“Picking blueberries”, Gajeel shrugged. “Said he’d make hoecakes and blueberry soup.”

“That sounds delicious.”

“If he makes it, it will be”, Gajeel concurred.

Laxus rubbed the towel over his arms and chest. It was warm enough to simply sit in the sun to dry. He considered it for a moment.

“Say Dreyar, what are you exactly? Bi, gay, what?”

Laxus tensed a little. Holding the warm towel against his chest, he hesitated. Why though? He was literally naked in the middle of the woods, surrounded by a pride themed encampment. If he couldn't say it at this point, then when?

“I’m gay.”

That was the first time he said it. The very first time. It was such a hard thing to do for so long, but now that the word was out there, it suddenly seemed so easy. It was strange.

“Huh. Who would have though”, Gajeel commented.

“I know, I don’t look it”, Laxus shrugged.

“How does one look gay?”, Gajeel countered.

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t”, Gajeel argued.

Rolling his eyes, Laxus pulled the towel around his waist instead. “Alright, you win.”

“It’s not about winning. I’m just saying. I admit, though, it does surprise me.”

“Me too”, Laxus sighed.

Gajeel barked a laugh. “Hah! I bet.”

Glancing at him, Laxus noticed of a row of metal studs running along his arms. Gajeel was really thoroughly pierced.

“What about you?”, he wondered.

“I’m mostly straight”, Gajeel shrugged.

Mostly? What does that even mean? Laxus frowned to himself. Eyeing Gajeel again, Laxus noticed that his arms and eyebrows weren’t the only thing he had pierced. A shimmer of metal drew Laxus’s attention to his dick.

“Like what you see?”, Gajeel mocked.

Laxus averted his eyes at once. He felt like he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, but Gajeel merely laughed.

“Didn’t that hurt?”, Laxus asked.

“Of course it hurt, but it was worth it. It feels really good.”

Daring another glance, Laxus realised just what it was. A barbel sat right under the head.

“Come have a closer look”, Gajeel smirked.

Laxus was so unused to being flirted with by someone he actually found attractive, it was almost a little sad. Laying his towel down beside Gajeel, he took a seat and did exactly what Gajeel had invited him to. He raked his eyes down the strong body. He knew since before that Gajeel had a fair amount of scars. They were clearly visible on his arms and hands. What he hadn’t realised was the extent to which they covered Gajeel’s body. It seemed rude to ask about it, so he didn’t.

Gajeel lay down and smirked up at him. “You’re not half bad yourself, Dreyar.”

“I didn’t even say anything”, Laxus argued.

“You didn’t need to.”

Laxus huffed a laugh. A shriek caught his attention and he peered into the thicket. Somewhere near the first row of tents, someone was picked up and hurled around, laughing loudly. Turning back to Gajeel, Laxus felt his mouth run dry. Gajeel was lying in the grass, looking up at Laxus, and stroking his forming erection. Laxus watched the calloused hand work, caressing over the head and nudging the piercing.

“You like watching?”, Gajeel asked.

Laxus shrugged a little. It was kinda hot. If he wasn’t so damn tense, he would probably grow hard as well just seeing this.

“Wanna give me a hand?”, Gajeel prompted next.

Peering around, Laxus licked his lips. Did he want to? Of course he fucking wanted to. A hand wasn’t all he wanted to give Gajeel right now. He was nervous, though. Scooting closer, he dared it and reached out. Gajeel let go as soon as his fingers brushed over the sensitive skin. Resting a hand behind his head, Gajeel smiled smugly. Annoying. Laxus decided to kill two flies with one stone. He was going to wipe that smirk off Gajeel’s face, and he was going to really enjoy this.

Leaning across Gajeel’s body, he steadied the pierced dick with a hand and licked over the glans. That definitively worked. Gajeel jerked under him. Gajeel wasn’t looking smug any more. He stared wide eyed and eager. Meeting his eyes in challenge, Laxus dipped his head further and wrapped his lips around Gajeel’s cock. A groan left Gajeel and Laxus felt a rush. He could get used to this, making men moan because of him.

Licking along the piercing, he watched Gajeel for any reaction. Gajeel balled his hands into firsts. It felt that good, huh? Laxus inspected the piercing closely before doing it again and then taking the entire head into his mouth anew. Gajeel rested a hand at the back of his head and urged him down, so he tried, taking as much as he could of Gajeel’s cock into his mouth. The encouraging pressure didn’t leave, but Laxus had to pull back before he was anywhere near down. He had no idea how Bickslow did it.

“Fuck. Don’t stop.”

Glancing at Gajeel’s face again, Laxus found a beautiful image. Gajeel’s cheeks were flushed and his lips lightly parted. So sexy. Laxus dipped his head again and got an enthusiastic moan. Now he was definitively hard as well. Reaching down to take himself in hand, he hummed around Gajeel’s cock. Both of them soon lost any restraint, letting every moan sound freely.

A whistle threw Laxus out of the moment. He sat up and covered himself with a hand. Gajeel merely sighed in frustration and looked up. Bayley was standing nearby, chewing on an apple.

“Nice view”, he teased.

“Came to watch the show, eh?”, Gajeel grinned.

“Mind if I join?”, Bayley asked.

Laxus tensed up. He didn’t know what he had expected to happen when Bayley turned up, but this wasn’t it. After exchanging one quick glance with Laxus, Gajeel shook his head.

“We’d like some privacy.”

“Alright”, Bayley shrugged. “I’ll leave you boys to it then.”

Laxus watched him slip away between the trees. Gajeel sat up and kissed his cheek to get him back on track, but he barely registered it.

“You alright?”, Gajeel asked.

“Do you think he will tell Bickslow?”

Gajeel chuckled. “Of course he will. Anything to tease his ex.”

Laxus looked back at him in surprise. “They used to date?”

“You didn’t know? They were really serious. Bickslow used to take care of Maria when Bayley was at work.”

“His child”, Laxus realised.

“You met her?”

“No. I just saw some toys in his apartment.” Laxus thought back to that day. “They did seem very friendly.”

“Yea. They separated on good terms. Bayley was gonna try again with his girlfriend and Bickslow respected that. They have a kid after all. Didn’t work out unfortunately.”

Laxus contemplated that. So Bayley didn’t go back to his girlfriend because his feelings had changed and Bickslow hadn’t chosen to break up. And they were evidently still very close.

“Do you think he still likes Bickslow?”

“What does it matter?”, Gajeel asked.

Laxus just shrugged.

“Holy shit. You’re in love with Bickslow”, Gajeel realised.

Laxus swallowed hard. Was he? He definitively liked Bickslow, admired him. Who wouldn’t? But love? He didn’t know about that. He just wanted Bickslow at his side as often as possible. He wanted to see Bickslow smile, hear him laugh… Shit. He was in love, wasn’t he?

“I guess I am.”

“Wow. Good luck with that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”, Laxus frowned.

“Just that Bickslow isn’t gonna be holding your hand and sending you flowers. If you want him, you better come in guns blazing.”

“What are you talking about?”, Laxus asked.

Gajeel smirked. “Bickslow is not someone who dates around. If he’s with you, he’s with you all the way. Take it from me, if you wanna date Bickslow, you need to make it unmistakably clear that you’re in it for the long run. He doesn’t do boyfriends.”

“How do you know?”, Laxus questioned.

Gajeel sighed. “Look, I found this community much the same way you did. I was in a shit place, I needed help. Someone with no good reason to give a shit was there for me, someone who showed me that it is okay to be me and to do what I do and to feel what I feel. Only for me that person was Levy.”

“Do you love her?”, Laxus asked. He realised it was probably rude the instant after he said it.

Gajeel grumbled. “None of your business. The point is, her and Bickslow are tight. They talk. Trust me, I know. Bickslow doesn’t do boyfriends. He’s been burnt too often.”

“Like with Bayley?”

“Yea, like with Bayley”, Gajeel confirmed.

“Tommy?”, Laxus wondered.

Gajeel frowned at him. “As far as I know, they’re not even that close. They just like the same things.” Nudging Laxus, he added, “You’ve got it bad, eh?”

Laxus took a moment to process. He did really want to be with Bickslow, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to commit to something long term. He had never even had a boyfriend before. Or any relationship for that matter. But this was Bickslow. But at the same time it wouldn’t be fair to make Bickslow believe that he was ready to commit if he wasn’t sure of it himself. But how could he be sure?

“I guess we’re done here, hm?”, Gajeel asked.

Remembering their little impromptu session first now, Laxus blushed. “Uh, yea. Sorry.”

“Don’t be silly”, Gajeel huffed. Getting up, he stretched. “But if you’re not game, I’m gonna go find Bayley.” Brushing a few blades of grass from his legs, he added, “Or maybe Sally. She’s always good fun.”

Laxus just nodded. He had no idea who was fun or in what way. He just knew he wasn’t in the mood any more and he was relieved Gajeel took it with such grace.

“And for the record, I still think your taste in music is shit”, Gajeel joked.

Laxus huffed a laugh. Of course, that’s what their fight had been about. How silly. He shook his head. He really had a short fuse. Stupid. He had to do better. The last thing he wanted was to become like his father. He was glad Gajeel didn’t hold a grudge at least. Watching Gajeel pick up his clothes, he wondered.

“Gajeel? Do you think Lucy will ever forgive me?”

Gajeel frowned. “She already has.”

“But Bickslow said...”

“He was just winding you up. And he wanted to ride with Lucy. She rides real smooth. Prissy.”

“Oh”, Laxus mumbled.

Gajeel leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Looking up in surprise, Laxus found an amused toothy grin on Gajeel’s face.

“You think too much, Dreyar. Don’t break your cute little head.”

“Fuck you, Redfox”, Laxus hissed.

Gajeel laughed heartedly. Pulling his pants on haphazardly, he took his leave.


	19. Tent

Laxus shifted around on his camping mat. He just couldn't find a comfortable sleeping position. A lot had happened today. They did all of the things Bickslow had said. They made music and danced. They drank and talked for hours, opening their hearts to complete strangers who felt so much like family. They cooked and ate together. The blueberry soup really was heaven. They swam naked in the lake. Laxus licked his lips. He had sucked Gajeel-mostly-straight-Redfox. Damn. Whatever had gotten into him?

It was hot, though. Even knowing that Bayley had seen them and that Bickslow probably knew was kinda hot now that he thought about it. It was like every fantasy he never thought he’d see fulfilled. Even though he had barely dared admitting it to himself, Laxus had always longed for a sex positive space, a place where nudity wasn’t scary, where a casual or not so casual touch wasn’t shunned but celebrated instead. He had never imagined he’d find it, and definitively not like this, in the middle of the woods.

He wondered what Bickslow thought about it. He hadn’t said anything. And if Bickslow knew he had that moment with Gajeel, did Gajeel know that he had slept with Bickslow? At college these kinds of rumours always travelled fast. Laxus shook his head. Thinking about blowjobs was definitively not going to help him fall asleep quicker, be it with Gajeel or with Bickslow. The sound of moans emitting from somewhere nearby didn’t help, either.

It was subtle, far more quiet than the soft talk all around camp. Whoever was enjoying the night clearly tried to hold back, but it was obvious what was happening either way. It sounded like a male and a female voice. Maybe it was Gajeel and that Sally person. Or maybe one of his team members got lucky. Apparently the team jackets were a turn on, and to Laxus’s mild surprise and great relief, the boys responded really well to the come-ons, even when it was men who flirted with them. At one point he really wondered if Markus was going to share a playful kiss with Leonard. That was his name, right? Laxus was glad to see him again, the man with the blue eyeliner. He was cute.

Whoever it was, moaning in a nearby tent, they were surely not the only ones enjoying themselves tonight. There seemed to be a lot going on at this camp. Turning around again, Laxus heard Bickslow sighing beside him.

“Sorry”, Laxus mumbled.

“It’s fine”, Bickslow yawned. “Can’t sleep?”

“Not really, no.”

Bickslow went quiet again. His breathing was fairly deep, but he wasn’t falling asleep, either. Laxus could tell by now. He knew what noises Bickslow made before he drifted off into dreamland. He would shudder a little, whine ever so softly, and finally shift one last time before falling asleep. He wasn’t even near a shudder yet.

Laxus kept thinking about the beach, about what Gajeel had said. If you want to date Bickslow, you better come in guns blazing. He doesn’t do boyfriends. Laxus watched the back of Bickslow’s head. He knew what he wanted, he just wasn’t sure if he wanted it enough. He wanted to come closer, to feel Bickslow pressed against himself. He wanted all of Bickslow. Right now. But he wasn’t ready to make any promises. Did he have to know right away, though? So what if Bickslow didn’t do boyfriends? Couldn’t they just be Laxus and Bickslow, just the way they were, until things fell into place? Maybe Gajeel was right. Maybe he was overthinking this.

“Bickslow…”

“Hm?”

“I want you to fuck me.”

That caught Bickslow’s attention. He turned around and searched Laxus’s outline in the dark.

“Yea?”

“Yea.”

Bickslow sat up, letting the blanket fall off his shoulders. He crawled away and rummaged in the bag. Laxus leaned up on his elbows, trying to see what Bickslow was up to. A sudden light blinded him. Bickslow angled the torch against the backpack so they had a soft blue hue in the tent. Pulling out one of the towels, he spread it over his sleeping mat. Then he dug in a side pocket and took out a condom and a small bottle of lube. Laxus found it both amusing and enticing how ready Bickslow was for this.

Removing his blanket, Laxus came closer. The soft light let him see just enough to make out the smile on Bickslow’s lips. Pressing a kiss to them, he loved the response he got. Bickslow licked over his lips and then gave him that look, the same look he had when he pushed Laxus against the wall that first time they had sex, and every time since. Just how Bickslow managed to work him up with a kiss and a look, Laxus would never figure out, but his body got the idea every time.

Lying down on the towel, he noticed their shadows being projected against the wall of the tent. Was that visible from outside? He could imagine it all too well, walking among the trees at night only to see one tent illuminated from within, inhabited by shadow men who kissed and touched, fucking behind a thin cloth and hoping it would keep the world out until they were done. What a lovely thought. He hoped it was visible.

Bickslow didn’t loose time on foreplay. He was generally more cuddly in the aftermath. Giving himself a few firm strokes, he tore the wrapper and put the condom on. Making sure he was on top of the towel, he added lube, enough to make it run down his balls and drip onto the towel. Laxus exhaled slowly. He had no reason to be nervous. He had tried it with a few fingers just to see how it was and it was easy enough. All he had to do was relax and let Bickslow know if anything was wrong.

Letting Bickslow between his legs, he closed his eyes. He could feel one warm hand caressing the inside of his thigh before slipping down further and pressing against his ass. Relax. Inhale. Exhale. The scent of pine and campfire was really strong even inside the tent. He had expected a finger or two for a start, but what he felt had to be more than that. Looking down, he saw Bickslow placing both hands on his knees to keep his legs parted, but the feeling did not go away. Laxus grabbed a hold of the blanket beside him. Holy fucking fuck. Bickslow’s cock was inside of him. That was easy. Wow.

Bickslow leaned over him, smiling softly. He pressed forward and Laxus exhaled audibly. Taking a hold of Bickslow’s shoulders instead, he noticed just how fast his heart was beating now. Bickslow moved one hand down to steady himself against the mat. The other, he used to hold Laxus’s leg aside. Setting his feet against the ground, he thrust forward and Laxus had to remind himself to breathe. He could feel the movement rubbing against his ring muscles. It was was very enticing. He hummed. He was having sex in the woods. Who would have seen it coming? More importantly, he was on his back underneath Bickslow. Bickslow was fucking him. Laxus felt a little sweaty.

The whole thing was a bit awkward, though. Bickslow kept adjusting his hold on Laxus. He was so focused, like he was working on an essay rather than having sex. Letting Laxus’s leg dangle over his elbow, he swept his hand under Laxus’s cock and pressed down low on his stomach. He shifted again and Laxus was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. He was being nudged around like some item and Bickslow was urging him into an odd bend. Bickslow leaned over him more, but kept his eyes downcast, focusing on what he was doing. When he moved again, Laxus gasped.

“That’s it”, Bickslow smirked.

Meeting Laxus’s eyes, Bickslow moved, rolling his hips steadily now. Laxus’s jaw fell slack. He felt a dull pressure in his lower abdomen, over and over, and it sent sparks through his body. It felt so good! It was almost frustrating how good it felt, so intense and yet far too brief. It was just never quite enough. Clasping a hand over his mouth, Laxus whined. More. He wanted more! Clinging onto Bickslow’s shoulder for dear life, he urged his hips down to meet Bickslow.

“Ah, so good”, Bickslow whispered.

He leaned down so far he was almost lying on top of Laxus. Pressing his lips against Laxus’s cheek, he moaned softly. It was evident that he was holding back, trying not to disturb the others. The sound of his strained voice made Laxus’s cock twitch. Their likely terrible attempt at being quiet only made everything all the more exciting, more steamy. Laxus craned his neck. He felt like he was loosing control over his body. He was jerking under Bickslow, almost holding his breath to keep the moans in. His toes curled in pleasure.

It was late Sunday evening that they returned home. Laxus was still floating on clouds, but Bickslow quickly shook the retreat off and got busy doing homework. Electing not to comment on it, Laxus pulled out the bed and lay down with his headphones on. He watched Bickslow for a long time until the steel guitars and smoky voices rocked him to sleep. He never had wet dreams, but tonight his world was dominated by the smell of pine and the sound of Bickslow breathing hard against his ear.


	20. Fall

Laxus returned late in the evening yet again. He brushed a few leaves off his shoes before stepping through the door. Yawning, he hung his key aside and began peeling out of the wet coat.

“I’m back”, he announced.

Bickslow didn’t respond. He was sitting on the couch as usual. What wasn’t usual was his disheartened pose. He sat cross-legged with a single sheet of paper resting in his lap and his head in his hands.

“What’s wrong? Didn’t get 100% on the test?”, Laxus tried to lighten the mood.

“That’s not funny.”

Bickslow sounded so serious. Laxus knelt down on the floor in front of him to get a look at his face. His eyes were all red and puffy. Worried, Laxus stroked a hand over his knee.

“Bix? What’s wrong?”

“The house is being demolished.”

“Oh shit.” Laxus looked around the tiny apartment. He couldn't say he hadn’t wondered if it was time. “Okay. So what do we do?”

“I haven’t the slightest. Fucking shit!” Bickslow leaned back until his head was tilted up to the ceiling. He draped an arm over his eyes. “I just don’t want to be on the fucking street again. I worked so hard to get to this point. This can’t be happening. Fuck. Fucking fuck.”

Bickslow rarely swore this much. Taking the paper, Laxus read it as well. Keeping one hand on Bickslow’s knee, he rubbed gently while trying to make sense of the notice. They had to move. It would get expensive for sure. Laxus hummed to himself. He would scrape together the funds. He wouldn't let something as stupid as money get in the way of Bickslow’s happiness. Looking up again, he saw Bickslow breathing hard. A few tears made their way past the protective arm and down his cheeks.

“Don’t worry. We have three months. We’ll find something else”, Laxus encouraged.

Bickslow wiped at his face and looked down at Laxus with anger burning in his eyes. It caught Laxus completely by surprise.

“Don’t you get it?”, Bickslow hissed. “There is no way I could afford anything else. The reason I can live here is because it’s so run down. And if I move too far from Fairy Tail, I will have to work so much harder to stay on top, to keep my scholarship. Anything affordable is two hours from here. I can’t focus on homework on a bus. I won’t get enough sleep and then I won’t be able to focus and I will loose everything!”

Laxus understood then. Bickslow wasn’t angry at all. He was spiralling. Laxus climbed onto the couch and pulled him into a hug. Bickslow sighed irritably at first, but he simply held on until Bickslow broke down in tears and began clinging onto him instead. Bickslow was hyperventilating, shivering, crying aloud. Laxus held on. He glanced at the screen of Bickslow’s phone from time to time. Sixteen minutes passed before Bickslow finally ran out of tears and calmed down in exhausted gasps. Stroking over Bickslow’s back, Laxus kept waiting.

Bickslow’s hold on him was weak now, but until Bickslow himself removed his hand or sat up, Laxus wasn’t going anywhere. He didn’t care that his leg was going numb. He knew exactly how unnerving this was. He had no idea if Bickslow had experienced anything like this before. The first time it hit him, Laxus had been convinced he was dying. He couldn’t understand the world any more. One moment he was in his seat, getting an English assignment, and the next he was curled together under a table and dying. Or so he had thought.

Eventually, Bickslow eased away and got up. He walked to the kitchen corner and grabbed some paper towels to clean his face. Throwing the paper away and clearing his throat, he finally turned around.

“Thanks.”

Laxus forced a smile. He got up and came closer, stroking a hand over Bickslow’s arm. “Alright there?”

“Yea. Sorry. I’m being dramatic, I know.”

“No you’re not. You had a panic attack.”

Bickslow frowned at him.

“I get them too”, Laxus offered.

Bickslow nodded to himself. “That explains it.”

Taking a glass of water, he sat down and sipped it. Laxus followed him, sitting down across from him at the table. Bickslow seemed so tired all of a sudden. That too, Laxus recognised. If he had an attack that lasted more than ten minutes, he always fell asleep afterwards. It was exhausting.

“Don’t worry. I’ll find us something close by.”

“I just told you, I don’t have the money”, Bickslow protested.

“But I do.”

Bickslow looked back at him for a long moment, like he couldn’t decide if Laxus was trying to pull his leg or not.

“You do?”

“Where do you think I’m at all afternoon?”, Laxus chuckled.

“The field?”, Bickslow suggested.

“We practice for an hour or two, not until eleven. You know that.”

“Partying?”, Bickslow jested.

“Always. No, I got a job at the grocery store so I could start paying you back. I’ll get my first check next week.”

“When do you even sleep?”, Bickslow asked in bafflement.

Laxus huffed a laugh.

“What?”

“I just remember I used to think the same about you.”

“Me?”, Bickslow asked, frowning deeply.

“Yea. You are an honour student and you work out and you clearly have a lot of friends. I could never do that.”

Bickslow giggled as well. “Back at you.”

“You’re amazing. You know that, right?”, Laxus asked, sounding all serious.

Sighing, Bickslow rested his chin on the table. “I don’t.”

“Well, you should know. Because you are.”

Smiling ever so little, Bickslow mumbled, “You’re gonna make me blush.”

“Good.”

Ruffling a hand through Bickslow’s hair, Laxus smiled. “Get some sleep and leave it to me.”

  
  



	21. Strenght

Laxus watched with interest as Bickslow laboured over the paperwork. Laxus had gotten his first pay and found an apartment for them, just as he had said he would, but Bickslow wasn’t convinced that they could afford it. He had gathered their receipts from the past couple of months and was constructing a budget to compare. Laxus had no idea how it worked, but he trusted that Bickslow knew what he was doing. Bickslow set the calculator down and sighed.

“And?”, Laxus prompted.

“It’s still too much.”

“How much too much?”

“A lot. Truth be told, I am always in the red. Every year, I eat away at my savings. This apartment is dirt cheap, so I made it work. But this new one?” Bickslow motioned at the paper. “Your pay doesn’t begin to cover the difference. Even if we cut back more, there’s no chance.”

“I’ll ask my boss for more hours”, Laxus determined.

“No. Laxus, you don’t understand. It is not enough. Even if you work every free hour, it is not enough. We’d be better off moving somewhere else and…” Bickslow sighed deeply. “…hoping like shit we can work around it somehow.”

“You said you need to be close to Fairy Tail to keep your spot”, Laxus argued.

Bickslow shrugged. “I do, but it is what it is. Wishful thinking will only do more harm. We cannot move to an apartment that we cannot afford. It will only make everything worse.”

He gathered the papers together and placed them neatly back in their folder. Leaning back on the couch, he threaded his fingers together and placed them behind his head. He thought hard, chewing on his lower lip while he tried to form a strategy. Coming up empty, he sighed again.

“Shit.”

“I’ll work full time”, Laxus said. “I’ll find a proper job. Then we can afford it, right?”

“Don’t be silly”, Bickslow grumbled.

“I’m not. It’s fine. I’ll work and you can focus on school.”

Bickslow raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you wanna be my sugar daddy or something?”

“So what? It’s just for a year”, Laxus shrugged.

“No way”, Bickslow said firmly.

“Why not?”

Letting his hands fall, Bickslow groaned in irritation. “I am not going to let you pay my way through school.”

“Why not?”, Laxus asked again.

Bickslow just sighed and shook his head.

“Too proud for a handout?”, Laxus challenged.

“Oh fuck off”, Bickslow scoffed.

Anger sparked in Laxus’s chest at that. “You have some nerve giving me speeches about vulnerability being a strength if you can’t accept help yourself.”

Bickslow rolled his eyes. “Yea, fine, you caught me. I’m a hypocrite. Happy?!”

Taking a hold of Bickslow’s wrist, Laxus barked, “No. I’m not!”

Bickslow stared back at him wide eyed. Laxus’s anger drained right out of him when he realised that he had scared Bickslow. He also realised that he was holding on much too hard. He let go at once.

“Sorry.”

Bickslow shook his head. “It’s okay. I raised my voice. I’m sorry.”

“No. It’s not okay”, Laxus stated.

He took a seat beside Bickslow and gently nudged Bickslow’s chin, to get him to turn his head so their eyes could meet again. Bickslow frowned at him, confused and hesitant. It reminded Laxus of the day when he had dropped off the space heater for Bickslow. He had been so nervous back then. Nervous didn’t even begin to describe it. He had been terrified.

“Do you have any idea how scared I was of you?”

“Of me?”, Bickslow asked in surprise.

Laxus nodded a little, but then shook his head. “Not really you, but of what you brought out in me. I was absolutely terrified that you would find out that I was attracted to you. Shit, I was scared of realising it myself. It is as though I thought that, if I accepted it, it would somehow put a label on my forehead. My dad would know at once that I’m gay if I identified as it. I know that’s silly, but that is how I felt.”

Bickslow took his hand and entwined their fingers. He said nothing, waiting for Laxus to continue.

“I was always so angry. I was angry at myself for being inadequate, being weak, being… wrong. After I got to know you, I was angry at my father. He taught me all that bullshit, expected me to be strong in accordance to his definition. He made me think that there was something wrong with me. After moving in with you, I was angry at the world for not having put us on the same path sooner, for letting me go through all that in the first place. The last thing I want is to be like him. I swore to myself to be better on the very first day of living with you. I was not going to be that judgemental and… awful. I was going to be a good man. I never ever want to hurt you, or scare you. I just got frustrated.”

“I appreciate that. I understand. It’s okay. Like I said, I was being rude first. It’s understandable. It’s not the first time I’ve brought you to a boiling point, either. This is something we can both work on”, Bickslow said softly.

Laxus squeezed Bickslow hand a little for emphasis. “Bickslow, I’m serious. You saved me. Now let me save you. I can do it.”

Bickslow stared back at Laxus for a long moment. Laxus was really ready to give up on college for his sake. Laxus wasn’t just saying it in the heat of the moment. He meant it. Bickslow wasn’t sure what to do with that knowledge. Either way, it wasn’t right. It wouldn't be fair to Laxus. He lowered his gaze.

“You’re right. I’m sorry for being dismissive. Thank you for offering to help.”

“You’re welcome”, Laxus smiled.

Bickslow squeezed his hand. “But you are not dropping out on my account. We’ll find something else. We’ll be careful and budget, and I will look for a part time gig. You are not leaving school for me. We’re in this together.”

“No. You said it yourself, this is the best we will get, and it is not enough, and you need to focus on your studies”, Laxus argued. “I will work and you study. Once you graduate, we can switch roles.”

“No. Laxus, once I graduate, I go to university.”

“Take a year”, Laxus shrugged.

Bickslow hesitated.

“Really? That’s too much to ask?”, Laxus frowned.

“It’s not, but I can’t”, Bickslow admitted.

“What do you mean, you can’t?”

“Scholarships have strict rules. I already took a year off. I can’t do it again. If I don’t get into Crocus University or Fiore International by next year, I’m out and I won’t be able to go to any university at all.”

“You took a year?”, Laxus repeated surprised.

“So?”, Bickslow hissed.

Laxus tensed. He had not expected this to be another sore spot. He seemed to always stumble upon them when he least expected it. He wondered what that was about, but he knew better than to ask right then and there. Bickslow was worked up enough.

“So you’re a year older than me”, he realised.

“So what?”, Bickslow challenged.

“Nothing. I was just surprised. So, alright, fine, you can’t help me graduate. I can still help you.”

Bickslow let go of his hand and groaned. “No. Not fine! You can’t drop out!”

Laxus was getting seriously irritated now. Why wouldn't Bickslow just let him fucking help?!

“Why not? It’s not like I have a future in academia anyway!”

Bickslow felt a pit in his stomach. It physically hurt, hearing Laxus say something like that. They had worked so hard to get him into senior year. How could Laxus still think that way after all those long nights?

“You don’t know that!”

“I do!”

“Laxus, I know you don’t believe that you can…”

Bickslow moved his hands in unnecessarily large gestures as he spoke. It annoyed Laxus so much right now. He felt belittled by the exaggerated body language, like Bickslow didn’t think he understood what this was about. Bickslow was the one who didn’t understand! Taking Bickslow’s hands again, he interrupted.

“Bickslow, listen! Thanks to you, I know that I can make it, that I can graduate. I’m not stupid, I just never had anyone teach me how to study effectively before. I do know that. I finally know that. But Bickslow, I also know that you will be fucking brilliant at whatever you choose to do, and that I want to be there for you. That is all I want. So please, let me do this for you. Please.”

Bickslow refused to look up, but he didn’t pull away, either.

“It makes you that uncomfortable to let me pay you back?”, Laxus asked.

“It’s more than paying me back. I’d owe you everything”, Bickslow mumbled.

“So what?”

Taking a deep breath, Bickslow faced Laxus. Laxus didn’t know. He hadn’t been down this road before. He hadn’t seen how much damage dependence could do. Bickslow was sure as hell not going to be the one to show him.

“So what if we don’t work out? I don’t wanna owe my ex my fucking future. If you don’t graduate, you will be dependent on me in a completely different way than now. This is not a simple tit for tat.”

“Marry me then.”

Bickslow pulled away. “That is not funny!”

“I’m not joking”, Laxus stated. “Marriage used to be all about money. It’s a way to ensure your investment doesn’t get lost. So let me pay your way through school and then you pay me back simply by making more money than I ever will.”

“You cannot be serious”, Bickslow huffed.

“I am completely serious. If you are worried about leaving me hanging in case we don’t work out, that I would hold it against you, then make a deal with me. If we get a divorce, you’ll have to pay me a portion of your earnings for a few years. That gives me plenty of time to study and prepare for a life on my own. Then we’re even. If we are married, I am not sacrificing for you if I drop out. I would simply be investing in us by working. It makes sense, doesn’t it?”

Bickslow gaped at Laxus. He shook his head and stood. “I need some air.”

“Bix?”

Spinning back around, Bickslow shouted, “You can’t just ask me to marry you out of nowhere!”

“It’s not out of nowhere! I love you! You know that! I would have asked you sooner or later anyway!”

Bickslow stared back at him wide eyed. “Laxus…”

“What?”, Laxus asked sourly.

Bickslow shook his head again. “You’re serious”, he realised.

“Yea. I am.”

Bickslow huffed and left.


	22. Candlelight

Laxus woke with a start when the door opened. It was dark already. Bickslow’s silhouette was outlined in the light of the open door. It closed again and darkness shrouded Bickslow. Laxus could hear him rummaging about, though, taking his shoes and jacket off.

“Just turn the lights on”, Laxus prompted.

Bickslow stopped. “I thought you had fallen asleep.”

“I had. I waited for hours, but eventually I nodded off.”

“Sorry to worry you.”

“Bix, I’m sorry if I blind sided you. That wasn’t my intention”, Laxus tried.

“It’s fine.”

Bickslow still didn’t turn the lights on. He walked to the kitchen corner and dug for something in a drawer.

“What are you looking for?”, Laxus asked.

“Laxus, do me a favour, please. Just stay right there and don’t ask.”

Bickslow sounded so earnest. Frowning, Laxus waited. Bickslow kept going. Taking a lighter from a cabinet, he lit a candle. He placed it in the middle of the kitchen table and then went to get plates and cups. He set the table and then opened the fridge and took out some leftovers. Once everything was ready, he walked over to Laxus and held out a hand.

“Have dinner with me”, he requested.

“It’s four in the morning”, Laxus pointed out.

“Please.”

“Okay”, Laxus agreed.

Bewildered, he took Bickslow’s hand and stood. Despite not being the least bit hungry, he sat down with Bickslow to eat. He noticed Bickslow had plated tiny portions for them. This wasn’t about food. It was about having dinner with a candle on the table, even if it was only a tea light. Laxus took it as a good sign. He really worried when Bickslow left in such a mood.

He worried he had messed it all up. He had never asked Bickslow to be his boyfriend, because Bickslow didn’t do boyfriends. But despite the lack of title, it sure as hell felt like they had been dating for months now. They studied together, cooked and cleaned together. They worked so well together, complemented each other. They had each other’s back, always. They lived together. They shared a bed. They slept together. They kissed. And sometimes they just sat together, close together, and it felt so right. And sometimes those three little words passed Laxus’s lips in the quiet of night. I love you. But maybe Bickslow didn’t see it that way at all. Maybe it had all been in his head. Maybe asking Bickslow to marry him really was out of the blue.

When Bickslow didn’t come back for hours, his worry turned into dread. What if something had happened? He sent a text message, but got no response. He really didn’t want to be that guy and spam Bickslow or call him when he wasn’t ready to talk. Bickslow always checked his phone, even at the oddest hours. He must have seen the message. So if he wasn’t responding, he either didn’t want to or he couldn't. The second option unnerved Laxus. But even if that were the case, which was highly unlikely, there wasn’t a whole lot he could have done about it. He had no idea where Bickslow even was.

“Where were you all night?”, Laxus wondered.

“Various places. I went to the park, then the lake, then the park again. I hoped the walk would help me wind down, but it didn’t do shit. I met Bayley by the fountain and talked for a bit.” Playing with the rim of his glass, Bickslow shook his head. “Rather, I should say, he talked some sense into me. He told me I was a fool not to say yes at once to a guy so willing to give up everything for me. He said I shouldn’t repeat his mistakes. He said I need stop worrying my head and listen to my gut instead. So, after that, I took another detour past the lake on my way home, hoping it would give me the right idea.” Bickslow chuckled. “Bayley would probably say I didn’t get message about not overthinking.”

“Did it? Give you the right idea?”, Laxus asked.

“Yea.”

Laxus didn’t know what exactly that meant, but it seemed like a great relief to Bickslow, so he was happy nonetheless. Eating the last spoonful of cold pasta and washing it down, he noticed Bickslow had barely touched his own plate.

“Are you okay?”, Laxus asked.

Bickslow nodded a little. He stared toward the window for a moment, lost in thought. When he snapped out of it, he inhaled audibly and stood. Taking Laxus’s hand, Bickslow urged him out of his chair as well. Laxus inspected Bickslow in the romantic light. Bickslow was still very tense, but it was all different now. Laxus couldn't place it. Bickslow seemed so nervous. Holding Laxus’s hands, Bickslow met his eyes.

“Laxus, when I first met you, I thought you were incredibly hot, but also an idiot.”

“Bickslow, are you..?”

“Shh. I’m trying to have moment”, Bickslow reprimanded.

Laxus couldn't believe it. He had spent the past hours convincing himself that this wasn’t happening, but now it was.

Clearing his throat, Bickslow continued, “I thought you were a stupid jock who doesn’t care about anything. But I couldn't have been more wrong. You are one of the most caring and dedicated people I have ever met. You see me in a way no one else does. You can tell when something is off. You understand that sometimes I don’t need a solution, just a hug. And you call me on my shit. The truth is, you are right, I am a hypocrite. I do think vulnerability is strength, but I preach it as though I have that strength, and I don’t. I have been left hanging one too many times, so even when you kiss me, when we fuck, when you hold me, I don’t really let you in. But I want to change that. I want to let you in. I told you once that you need me, but truth be told, I need you so much more. I was worried it would scare you way, but you proved me wrong. When you saw that I need you, instead of cutting your losses, you doubled down.”

Laxus held a hand over his mouth. He was in complete awe. When Bickslow reached into his pocket and got down on one knee, Laxus gasped. It was so cliché. He felt so silly, but he couldn’t help it. He actually gasped. Holding a slender gold ring between his fingers, Bickslow offered it to him.

“Laxus Dreyar, will you marry me?”

“Of course. I asked you first, Silly.”

“Don’t ruin the mood”, Bickslow jabbed.

Standing back up, he took Laxus’s hand and put the ring on his little finger. “Wrong size, I know, but...”

Laxus kissed him. Wrapping his arms around Bickslow, Laxus held him so tight it was hard to breathe. Bickslow closed his eyes and sneaked his hands under Laxus’s shirt.

“It’s perfect”, Laxus mumbled.

“It was my mother’s. She said I should keep it until I am ready to give it to the right man.”

Laxus eased off ever so little to have a close look at the ring. It really was very slender. It was simple, with a subtle engraving along the middle. Bickslow had such lithe hands, it came as no surprise his mother did as well.

“You never talk about your family”, Laxus commented.

“Like I said, I’m a hypocrite.”

Laxus pulled him closer again. “No. You’re just scared.”

“Maybe”, Bickslow nodded.

Taking Laxus’s hand, he navigated them to the couch. Curling into Laxus’s arms, he entwined their fingers.

“Laxus, my proposal is not contingent on you dropping out.”

“Not?”, Laxus chuckled.

“I’m serious”, Bickslow said.

Laxus nodded. “Thanks for clarifying that. But as you said, it is what it is.”

“So we’re really doing this?”, Bickslow asked.

“We sure as hell are”, Laxus confirmed.

“What about the team?”

“They’ll survive. Edward is supposed to be the quarterback anyway”, Laxus shrugged.

“But you love being on the field”, Bickslow argued.

“No”, Laxus admitted. “I love being outside and moving and working with people. Truth be told, I loved having a reason not to go home. But now I don’t need a reason any more. I love being at home with you. And I will find a way to move outdoors. That’s not hard. I can always start running again.”

“Are you sure?”, Bickslow asked again.

“Are you trying to make me change my mind?”, Laxus teased.

“Maybe a little”, Bickslow admitted. “I don’t want to ruin anything for you.”

Laxus squeezed him a little. “Bix, I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life. I want to be there for you. I would do anything for you.”

Bickslow rested his head against Laxus’s shoulder. “I love you.”

“I know.”

“I never even told you”, Bickslow frowned.

“You showed me. And every time I said it, I could see it on your face. You’re easier to read than you think”, Laxus teased. He stroked a hand through the tuft of blue hair on Bickslow’s head. “And you did just ask me to marry you.”

“Point taken.”

Laxus kissed Bickslow on the forehead. Closing his eyes, he hummed. “You smell so lovely.”

“You have the weirdest compliments.”


	23. Ring

Laxus stopped at the gates of Fairy Tail and looked back. What a week. Tuesday, he found a job at a repair shop. Wednesday, he called to confirm they were going to take the apartment. Thursday, they spent packing. Tomorrow, they were moving out. The past month felt like an eternity, with everything hanging in the air, but now everything was happening at once. It was a little overwhelming. No matter. Together, they would make it through. First things first, it was official now, Laxus was no longer a student.

The paperwork in Justine’s office was the easy part, but telling the team was rough. There was a reason he did it in that order. This way he could tell them it was a done deal. There was no going back now. He felt relieved. It was strange. He worked so hard to stay and now he was so relieved to be going. He was moving on. It was going to be great. Not easy, but great. He had never been the academic type. He was not a school sort of guy. He was a heavy lifting and grease kind of guy, and that’s exactly what he was going to do.

Laxus jerked when someone clapped him on the back.

“You’ve got balls, Dreyar!”

Finding Gajeel at his side, Laxus frowned. “What do you mean?”

Gajeel gave him a toothy grin. “You actually asked Bickslow to marry you. And Lev said you’re dropping out to be the breadwinner. I gotta hand it to you, you take no prisoners.”

Laxus couldn’t help but smile. “Yea. I did.”

“Did he really give you Malena’s ring?”, Gajeel asked.

Laxus lifted his hand to show the ring and noticed to to his horror that the slender gold band was gone. He looked around wildly.

“You lost it?!”, Gajeel asked loudly.

“Yes I fucking lost it! Help me look!”, Laxus barked.

They searched all along the pavement and the yard, but came up empty. Laxus cursed to himself. How could he loose the ring Bickslow had given him?! He wanted to hit himself over the head for being so careless!

“When did you last have it?”, Gajeel asked.

Laxus sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I know I had it when I was in Justine’s office. I showed it to him when I explained my leaving. I still had it… in the hallway. That’s the last I know for sure.”

“Let’s start there, then”, Gajeel determined.

They hurried up the stairs of the main building and searched the hallway. Laxus went in to the reception and asked if anything had been handed in, but besides a pair of red gloves, there was nothing.

Gajeel’s phone rang. He turned off an alarm and sighed deeply. “Where else have you been? We have to retrace your steps.”

“You have class, don’t you?”, Laxus asked.

“Doesn’t matter. Where else have you been?”, Gajeel urged.

“I went to the field from here.”

“Let’s go.”

They kept their heads low and searched along the entire path, glancing behind every corner and making sure to scan the edge of the grass for anything metal that may have been kicked aside. When they reached the sports area, Laxus was thoroughly discouraged. He ran a hand over his forehead. “Shit.”

“We’ll keep looking”, Gajeel encouraged.

Laxus frowned at him. “Why are you doing this? Why help me?”

“Are you complaining?”, Gajeel challenged.

“Obviously not”, Laxus scoffed. “I’m just asking. It’s not like we’re particularly tight. I doubt you’re helping me out because I sucked your cock.”

He realised at once that he had said that a bit too loud. Several students who were passing by turned their heads or sniggered. Laxus glared back at someone who dared to meet his eyes and they hurried off.

Gajeel grinned over both ears. “You really have grown balls.”

Laxus clicked his tongue in response.

“I am helping because I care about Bickslow. We may not be super close, either, but I’ve known him for a few years now, and I happen to give a shit. He’s a good guy.”

“He is”, Laxus agreed. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

They turned toward the changing rooms when Laxus’s phone rang. He frowned down at the screen. The number wasn’t familiar to him. He picked up.

“Hello?”

“Tell me you’re right guy”, a man sighed at the other end. “Did you loose a ring?”

“Yes! You found it?”

“So it would seem. Are you close to Fairy Tail?”, the man asked.

“Yea. I’m by the field”, Laxus confirmed.

“Come to the gate”, the man instructed.

“Okay.”

“I’ll wait”, the man said and hung up.

Laxus’s face lit up. He was so relieved! He hurried to the gate with Gajeel in tow. By the fence stood a familiar face. Leonard, the cute guy with the blue eyeliner. He was looking around expectantly, and holding something in his fist. Laxus approached at once.

“You found the ring?”

“Yea”, Leonard confirmed. He handed it over and then frowned at Laxus. “Haven’t I met you before?”

“Yea. We’ve run into each other.”

“Where?”, Leonard wondered.

“During Pride Week”, Laxus said.

Leonard kept frowning at him.

“You were flirting with one of my teammates”, Laxus said.

“Yea”, Leonard nodded. He slimmed his eyes. “But that’s not it. I know you’re Bickslow’s roommate, the quarterback. But I feel like I’ve met you before.”

Laxus shifted awkwardly. Gajeel was right there, able to hear everything. He really would prefer for Gajeel to remain ignorant to his blundering first night at a queer club.

“We met at The Box once”, he offered vaguely.

He hoped that Leonard would either know better than to reveal anything, or better yet, not even remember it.

Leonard smirked. “Oh? Is that so? I apologize. My memory can be rather fuzzy when I’m drunk.”

“That’s fine.”

Leonard eyed Laxus from head to toe, and then met his eyes with a suggestive smile. “I regret not remembering that night, though.”

Laxus tensed. That was not even close to what had happened!

Leonard came closer and glanced up at him slyly. “Maybe you could remind me.”

“I’m engaged”, Laxus said at once.

“Shame. I mean, congratulations, of course”, Leonard joked. “Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Bickslow”, Laxus said.

Leonard’s mouth formed a soft o. “Right. Okay. That ring is an engagement ring, isn’t it?”

“Yea.”

“Sorry. Sorry. I wouldn't have thought Bickslow would use a ring. Then you’re in good hands. He’s something else.” Leonard laughed and shook his head. “Anyway. You’ve got your ring. I’ll see you around. Maybe we can have a threesome someday”, he said and turned away.

Laxus tensed even further. Gajeel came to his side and he exhaled slowly in an attempt to seem casual.

“What the hell was that about?”, Gajeel asked. “There is no way you’ve been with Leonard.”

“What do you know about it?”, Laxus defended.

“If you had been, you would have remembered his voice at once. He’s… memorable”, Gajeel explained.

Laxus just shrugged. He didn’t want to give Gajeel any further indication about how he had met Leonard the first time.

“I trust you don’t need an escort to avoid loosing the ring again. I’ll head out.”

“Right. Thanks for the help”, Laxus said.

Gajeel just nodded a little and left.

Laxus hoped like hell he wasn’t blushing. Probably not. Gajeel would have mocked him for sure. He really wasn’t used to being flirted with, and most certainly not in broad daylight. He tried hard not to imagine what Gajeel meant by Leonard being memorable.

He couldn’t deny that he was attracted to Leonard. He had a certain way about himself. He was confident and sly, both cute and sexy at the same time. If it hadn’t been for his engagement, Laxus would probably have taken Leonard up on the offer.

Now he felt like he had done something horribly wrong. He lost the ring and then found himself genuinely tempted by another man. He shook his head. He hadn’t done anything, though. He hadn’t done anything wrong. Why was he so nervous, then?


	24. Talk

When Laxus returned home, Bickslow was still busy packing. He wrapped the last couple of glasses in some t-shirts to protect them during transport. It saved a lot of material and space compared to packing with news papers. Bickslow seemed to have a very clear idea of how the moving process was to be performed. Laxus wondered how often he had gone though it over the years.

“I’m home”, Laxus announced.

“Welcome back. Did you find the ring?”

Laxus cringed. “You know about that?”

“Who do you think gave Leonard your number?”, Bickslow asked.

“Right.”

Bickslow grabbed another glass and wrapped it into one of Laxus’s shirts. “When he said he had found it by Fairy Tail, I assumed you might still be in the area, so I gave him your number.”

“Thanks.”

“So you found it?”, Bickslow asked again.

“Yea. I’ve got it.”

“Good.”

Laxus rubbed a hand over his neck. “I am really sorry for loosing it in the first place. I know it’s irreplaceable.”

“I wouldn’t go that far. Don’t worry about it.”, Bickslow shrugged. He gave Laxus a kiss before continuing his work.

“You are not mad?”

“No. Mom said to give it to the right man, and I did. It has fulfilled its purpose. Besides, it may be an heirloom, but in the end it’s just an item.”

“Isn’t it really expensive?”, Laxus wondered.

Bickslow sniggered. “Definitively not. It only has sentimental value. If that ring could have made a significant difference in my finances, I would have sold it long ago. Mom got it to stop people from hitting on her.”

“I see. Still, I’m sorry”, Laxus said again.

“It’s okay. You probably lost it because it isn’t your size in the first place. Just don’t loose your head. I’ve grown attached to it”, Bickslow teased.

Laxus sat down at the kitchen table. “I don’t know if I dare to wear it now. I don’t want to loose it for good.”

“Do as you wish. I don’t mind, either way. It’s yours now”, Bickslow shrugged.

Laxus played with the ring between his fingers. It meant a lot to him that he had it, but he did wonder if more people would assume that he was single if he decided not to wear it. Did it matter? It was sort of nice to be flirted with. Was it wrong for him to invite flirtatious approaches when he was engaged? He wondered if this was something he should bring up. What if Bickslow was offended? Then again, even if he was, it would be worse to keep it from him. Laxus sighed deeply.

“Bix?”

“Hm?”

“I think I may have made a mistake.”

“What mistake?”, Bickslow wondered.

“I think Leonard believes that we’ve slept together.”

“Let me guess. He was too drunk to remember?”, Bickslow asked in amusement.

Laxus nodded. “Only, it never happened.”

Bickslow sniggered. “You’re certainly his type. What’s the mistake? Did you say that you had?”

“No!”, Laxus refuted at once. “I just didn’t correct him.”

Bickslow shrugged a little. He didn’t seem to think it mattered much.

“Do you want to be sexually exclusive?”, Laxus asked.

That got Bickslow’s attention. He came over to the table and sat down. “Yea. I do.”

“Okay”, Laxus nodded.

“You don’t?”

Laxus shrugged a little. “I hadn’t really thought about it before.”

“And now?”, Bickslow pressed. “Don’t try to please me. Tell me what you think.”

“I just…” Laxus cleared his throat. “I haven’t really been with anyone besides you. I guess I feel a bit like I might be missing out on something.”

“And Gajeel”, Bickslow teased.

“Bayley told you?”

“Yea”, Bickslow chuckled. “Trying to make me jealous.”

“Did it work?”, Laxus jested.

“Don’t ask what you don’t want the answer to”, Bickslow quipped back.

Laxus huffed a laugh. He was relieved Bickslow didn’t take offence. Still, the question hung in the room.

“Have you ever had a threesome?”, Laxus wondered.

“Yea. It wasn’t really my thing. I prefer to focus on one person at a time. It seems more intimate to me.”

Laxus drew a measured breath and met Bickslow’s eyes again. “And you want to be exclusive”, he repeated.

Bickslow nodded. “At least for now. Maybe, in a year or two, we can think about it again. If you want to experiment a little, I am up for that. At the very least, I can be persuaded to have a threesome again, if that would please you. But right now I want it to be just us. It’s all new and exciting. I don’t want to share this feeling. I know that might be egotistic, but I want you to myself. At least for a bit. Truth be told, I probably was a little jealous when I heard about Gajeel. I worried, just for a bit, that I might not have you the way I wanted to, the way I thought I did.”

“Then we will be exclusive”, Laxus agreed.

“Are you sure?”

“I would have hoped for a different answer, but yea. I am sure that it is more important to me that I can be with you, and that you are comfortable, than it is for me to screw around”, Laxus spelled it out. “It’s not like I have anything to complain about”, he added.

“If that ever changes, tell me. I would rather you talk to me about it, than that you do something behind my back”, Bickslow requested.

Laxus clenched his jaw. “Bickslow. You cannot seriously believe that I would ever cheat on you.” He was offended, and it was evident in his voice.

Bickslow lowered his gaze. “No, I don’t. I just…” He shook his head. “Sorry. My bad.”

“Have you been cheated on before?”, Laxus asked.

Bickslow nodded a little.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“That’s not on you. I never told you”, Bickslow shrugged.

“I would never do that”, Laxus stated unequivocally. “If I, for some unfathomable reason, would make the choice to be with someone else, despite knowing that you don’t want me to, I would be upfront about it.”

“I know”, Bickslow nodded. “While we’re on the topic.”

He sat up properly and looked at Laxus. He swallowed hard, steeling himself. Laxus waited in patient curiosity for whatever comes next.

“I want to fuck you.”

“Be my guest”, Laxus smiled.

Bickslow shook his head. He came around to Laxus’s side of the table and sat down atop it. He wrapped his arms over Laxus’s strong shoulders.

“I want to fuck you deep. I want to be greedy. I want to hold you down and take you.”

Now Laxus was indeed surprised. Bickslow was always so cuddly and soft. To think he would want that…

“I am definitively on board with that. But, running the risk of ruining the mood here, can I ask what brought this on?”

“I’m into it. I just… It takes a lot of trust for me to be able to do that with someone. If I don’t feel safe, I can’t get out of my head, and I just end up focusing on the performance. I mean, that feels great too. I like having sex, either way. But I always keep evaluating, trying to see if you like it, trying to upkeep this image, this reputation. I’ve got to be good in bed. Otherwise, how can I be confident about it? I feel vulnerable when I focus on myself and my own pleasure. It makes me uncomfortably self-conscious”, Bickslow admitted.

“You trust me”, Laxus smiled.

“Of course I do. You’re my fiance.”

Wrapping his arms around Bickslow, Laxus kissed him. “Say that again.”

“You’re my fiance?”

Laxus kissed his throat and hummed. Chuckling, Bickslow ran a hand through the blond hair.

“My fiance. I trust you with my future, with my life.”

Laxus groaned softly.

Bickslow chuckled. “That turns you on?”

“You turn me on”, Laxus countered.

Surprised, Bickslow blushed. Laxus smirked up at him triumphantly.

“Lickfinger”, Bickslow complained.

Taking a hold of Bickslow’s hand, Laxus licked it and Bickslow burst into laughter.

“That is not what that means.”

“I don’t care”, Laxus determined. Holding Bickslow tight, he smiled. “How about we break in the new apartment that way?”

“I love that idea”, Bickslow agreed.

Laxus stood and pulled Bickslow’s legs apart so he could stand between them. He cupped Bickslow’s face with his hands and kissed Bickslow tenderly.

“Let me start by focusing on you tonight. Let me blow you.”

Smirking, Bickslow reached for his belt.


	25. Moving

Laxus kept smiling to himself while he worked. He couldn’t believe his luck. To think life could be this good. Had anyone told him a year ago that he would drop out for the love of his life, and gladly so, he could have thought them crazy.

With Tommy’s help, they moved on Saturday morning. The benefit of not having much was that it all fit in one pickup, and that it took little time to carry everything up the stairs. The entire weekend was spent sorting things in and gushing over memorabilia.

Bickslow had these little wooden figures that he made out of branches as a child. He had painted little faces on them. They were really well made, and very cute. Laxus was fascinated and insisted they shouldn’t be gathering dust in a box. They should be visible on the shelving.

Sorting all the books took a moment, but with teamwork, they got through the lot fairly swiftly. They put on one of Laxus’s CDs while they worked and Laxus was surprised to find Bickslow headbanging and singing like the broom was a mic. He was such a dork. Needless to say, Laxus refused to join him, before being dragged into the imaginary concert anyway.

The CDs and vinyl were a lot quicker to place. Laxus had made sure to keep them ordered when he packed them, so it was merely a question of taking them out again in the correct order. The main complication was Bickslow distracting him ever so often. Laxus never complained, though. Bickslow showed him all kinds of interesting things.

A notebook from his teenage years, filled with scribbles and random thoughts that made them both tear up with laughter. A hairband that he kept from the days when he had long hair. A girl tied his hair up and then kissed him. Technically his first kiss, but he didn’t count it, because he wanted it to be a boy. A small photo album filled to the brim with stories too long to tell in one day. The original sketch for the tattoo on his nose. That story, Bickslow was still holding on to. Laxus didn’t press.

They also exchanged house-warming gifts. Bickslow surprised him with a picture frame, so his mother could have a proper spot on the bookshelf. He surprised Bickslow with a proper bed, which he had delivered, and then proceeded to seduce Bickslow on. It was easy enough. He mentioned that they had made plans to break in the apartment, and Bickslow chucked off his pullover a second later.

He really ought to learn that move some day. He would have to ask Bickslow to share the secret.

Their foreplay was surprisingly thorough. Bickslow seemed to enjoy the music in the background. It didn’t go past Laxus that he moved his hips to the beat, that he kissed along Laxus’s collar in sync. It seemed Laxus wasn’t the only one who enjoyed rock ’n’ roll. It was so sexy to see Bickslow get worked up, slowly but surely. Not that he had any complaints about Bickslow’s usual to the chase approach.

He was a little surprised when Bickslow took an old leather belt and put it around his naked waist. Laxus had wondered what it was about at first, but he got the idea when Bickslow grabbed the belt and used it to gain leverage and press into him with force.

Just thinking about it, Laxus felt his cheeks getting warm. Bickslow was so eager. He wasn’t kidding when he told Laxus about his desires. Laxus definitively enjoyed that Bickslow wasn’t afraid to take the reins, but he hadn’t realised just how much, until he was shaking under Bickslow’s hands.

It was incredibly sexy to see Bickslow let go as well. It was an immense difference to know that Bickslow trusted him, and was fucking him just the way Bickslow wanted to. To know that Bickslow was finally showing him everything, and giving him everything, because Bickslow had a lot to give.

When Bickslow had him on all fours, Bickslow actually took a hold of his neck and held him down against the mattress. He did not expect Bickslow to be so rough. And he most certainly did not expect to like it. Bickslow being all fierce and demanding was a sight to behold. He wouldn’t mind a repetition.

Maybe Bickslow would enjoy using a piece of rope? Or a blindfold? Or perhaps do this the other way around and let Laxus take control? Laxus shook his head. Not a good line of thought while he was at work. They had years to play and experiment. There was no rush.

It really had been one hell of a week. They went from two students in a run down flat to a committed couple with an income and a lovely apartment, with working radiators. They not only had a separate kitchen, but even a separate bedroom. Laxus figured they should get another bookshelf so Bickslow could stop stacking books into a pile by the couch, and another dresser so he wouldn't have to keep using his bag as one. He shook his head. There was no rush, he reminded himself again.

For now, all he had to do was focus on his job for another two hours. Then, he was going home to Bickslow, to his fiance.


	26. Plans

Bickslow quickly threw himself on the couch when he heard the key in the lock. He didn’t want Laxus to see him pacing like a mad man. Grabbing the topmost book from the stack by the couch, he flipped it open on a random page and pretended to read. This conversation was going to be difficult enough. He didn’t need to build the tension further.

Laxus announced himself as usual when he came home. He hung his coat aside and took his shoes off. Bickslow turned a page. He had to calm down. He had a plan. He had all his questions laid out for himself. He knew what he needed to communicate. It was going to be fine, just fine. Laxus finally came into view, and Bickslow put the book back down.

“Hey.”

“Hey”, Laxus responded happily. He walked over and kissed Bickslow. “I’ve been looking forward to this all day.”

“To what?”, Bickslow asked.

“Coming home to you and kissing you.”

Bickslow blushed a little. “How the hell did I find you?”

“I believe I was the one who found you”, Laxus argued. “In a library.”

Bickslow shook his head and chuckled. “If you say so.”

Laxus took a seat beside him and relaxed back. “What are you reading?”

“Never mind that. I need to talk to you”, Bickslow breached the subject.

“What’s on your mind?”

“Erm…Laxus? When do you think we should have the wedding?”

“A year is customary, right?”, Laxus shrugged. “Plenty of time to plan.”

“Right. If you could have your dream wedding, with no limits, ignoring reality, what would it look like?”, Bickslow wondered.

“I haven’t really thought about it to be honest.”

“Then think”, Bickslow urged.

Resting a hand behind his head, Laxus let his eyes wander over their lovely little apartment. “Hrm. I would want a small gathering. Just you and me and those closest to us. And, if it’s entirely up to me—but I’m fine with it if you disagree—I wouldn't have it at a church.”

“Are you saying that because of our financial situation?”, Bickslow asked.

Laxus frowned at him. Bickslow had said that he was supposed to ignore their reality. Did he want a different answer?

“No. It just seems more intimate. But if you want a party, we can save up for it. We can hold off and make it happen somehow.”

Bickslow shook his head. “I just wanted to make sure. I don’t want to take away your dream for this important day, but…” He rubbed his hands together. “I want my mother to be there at my wedding, and she won’t be around much longer.”

“Oh. Is she sick?”

Bickslow nodded. “She has been for a long time. Her immune system is attacking her, breaking her body down, and the doctors have no idea how to make it stop. I took a year to help her out when she was too sick to be alone, but not sick enough to get assisted living. We’ve been in deep debt because of it for years and years. We knew there was no way we would ever be able to pay it back, so Mom figured out how to get me emancipated at sixteen. This way, I don’t take on her debt if she, well, when she dies.”

Coming closer, Laxus rested a hand on Bickslow’s head. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”

Bickslow leaned against him. “I appreciate that. But don’t tell anyone, yea? It’s private.”

“Okay, I won’t”, Laxus nodded. “Do you know how much longer she has?”

“Yea. To the day.”

“How is that possible?”, Laxus frowned.

“There’s an idea. A surgery. It probably won’t work, but she’s dying anyway, so Mom said she wanted to do it. Best case, it helps. Worst case, the doctors learn something from it. So the date is set. She has four months to live.”

“Then lets get married before then”, Laxus determined.

“I don’t want to rush you, though.”, Bickslow insisted.

Holding Bickslow against himself, Laxus shook his head. “I am ready to marry you a year from now, or ten years from now, or tomorrow, or right now. I don’t care, just as long as I get to be with you. So don’t you worry about that for a second. Let’s get married so she can be there.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course. I love you.” Bickslow smiled up at him and he leaned in for a kiss. “Always.”

“There is one other thing”, Bickslow began. “You said you don’t want a church…” He paused, waiting for Laxus to comment on it.

“I am okay with it, but it wouldn’t be my choice”, Laxus shrugged. “I guess I’m not very comfortable with it after being told over and over that being gay is a sin. And I’ve never been particularly religious to begin with.”

“Would you be opposed to a Midi wedding?”, Bickslow asked.

“You wanna go abroad?”, Laxus asked in surprise.

“No. I mean a wedding according to Midi tradition.”

“Oh, uh, sure?”

Bickslow frowned at him. “You do know that I am half Midiean, right?”

Laxus’s eyebrows raised. “I had no idea.”

“Seriously?”, Bickslow laughed.

He motioned at himself demonstratively. His skin had a warm undertone. His hair was intensely blue, and his eyes a deep red. He was tall and slender with a pointy nose. The inner and outer corners of his eyes were marked by a dark shadow, which further accentuated them.

“I guess now that you say it...”

“Gyha. You’re such a cabbage head sometimes.”

“Oy”, Laxus complained half-heartedly. “I suppose that explains the misunderstanding.”

“What misunderstanding?”, Bickslow asked.

“It’s something Leonard said. He seemed surprised that you would use an engagement ring.”

“Yea. It’s not really traditional”, Bickslow nodded.

Kissing Bickslow on the cheek, Laxus smiled. “A Midi wedding sounds great. I’d love to learn about your culture. You’ll have to teach me.”

“Can do”, Bickslow confirmed.

“Don’t you celebrate midsummer and midwinter?”

“Traditionally, yea”, Bickslow nodded. “The solstices are considered the two most important days of the year. It is said that the sun regulates the flow of the world, and on these days of transition, it brings about a change so true, it can be felt by every living thing. It has a lot of deep rooted religious and cultural meaning in Midi. The sun is the most important celestial body.” He sighed a little. “Guess I loose my roots at times. I get so caught up in other stuff and there aren’t really many reminders here. I do miss it sometimes. The festivals. The food. It is magical.”

“Lets change that. I would like to experience it. And I want to share days that have meaning to you with you. And maybe, someday, we could visit and you can show me what it is like.”

“You are too much”, Bickslow smiled. Entwining their fingers, he lifted Laxus’s hand to his face and gave it a kiss. “Laxus?”, he mumbled.

“Hm?”

“In Fiorean tradition, I want to take your name.”

“I would be honoured.”

Bickslow gave a little sigh of delight. It was reminiscent of the sounds he made when he had Laxus’s head between his thighs. Which reminded Laxus of another question. He cleared his throat.

“I uh… while we’re talking about what we want…”

“Yes?”

Laxus thought for a moment, tying to find a good way to say it. Reminded of the way Bickslow had told him, he turned around. He straddled Bickslow and wrapped his arms over Bickslow’s shoulders.

A smile spread over Bickslow’s face. “Yes?”, he repeated expectantly.

“I want you tie me down.”

“Oh?”, Bickslow grinned. “You’re into that?”

“I might be”, Laxus shrugged.

Bickslow gave him an inquisitive look. “I am afraid I will need some specifics if you want to play. I need to know what you are looking for, and, most importantly, what you are not looking for.”

Feeling butterflies in his stomach, Laxus leaned in and rested his chin on Bickslow’s shoulder, so that Bickslow couldn't see his face. He whispered his desire against Bickslow’s ear.

“When you fucked me the other day, I was kinda nervous at first. I was surprised that you came on so strong. But when you used that belt…” Laxus chuckled nervously. “It was incredible. But also sort of awkward. I kept thinking, I don’t know what to do with my hands. So tie them down next time? And… I want to see you.”

“You want to see me?”, Bickslow asked.

Laxus could swear he was blushing over both ears. He stroked his fingers along Bickslow’s neck. “It was a wonderful experience, you letting loose, letting me know just what you want. I didn’t feel like you were trying to please me, like you usually do. You were being honest with me, being raw. It felt powerful and intimate. I want that again, but I want to see the look on your face when you do what you want with me.”

Bickslow pushed against his chest, urging him back, and looked right at him. There was that look again. That look that told Laxus exactly what was going to happen next. He swallowed hard.


	27. Trust

Laxus held onto the belt like he was afraid he would fall off the bed without it. Bickslow thrust forward, and he groaned deeply. It felt so good. The firm hands on his thighs. The hard dick in his ass. Bickslow’s balls slapping against his skin. The belt keeping his arms over his head gave him no other option than to give in and simply feel. The entire thing was mind blowing.

And then there was that hungry look in Bickslow’s eyes. The way those deep red eyes kept burrowing into him made him feel all soft and gooey inside. His mind was all muddled. He couldn't piece together a single coherent thought. He didn’t need to. Not as long as Bickslow was relentlessly fucking him into the mattress. All he needed were those beautiful red eyes on him.

Bickslow slid a hand down and wrapped it around Laxus’s cock. A desperate sound left Laxus, some mix between a moan and a gasp. Bickslow stuck his tongue out in glee. He thrust forward hard, watching Laxus writhe under him. Laxus seemed to be enjoying himself thoroughly. Good. Bickslow made sure to maintain the same angle when he moved, hitting all the right spots. He glanced down at the gorgeous dick resting in his hand. It was tempting, but he didn’t want to interrupt Laxus now. Bickslow paused. He was doing it again, wasn’t he? Laxus had said he wanted Bickslow to be real with him, but he wasn’t. Not entirely.

When Bickslow stopped, it took Laxus a moment to catch up. He gasped for breath and urged his hips down. Bickslow rested his head against Laxus’s knee, which was slung over his shoulder. Laxus stilled entirely. After a moment, he found his voice.

“What’s wrong?”

Bickslow sighed deeply. “I haven’t been entirely honest with you.”

Laxus frowned up at him. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t get me wrong, this is really hot. The way you keep arching your back is so sexy.”

“But?”

Bickslow eased from Laxus’s body and climbed out from between the strong legs. He licked his lips and looked away for a moment, before thinking better of it and forcing himself to meet Laxus’s eyes.

“I told you that it takes some amount of trust for me to do this with someone, to let myself go and take my pleasure quite like this. That is true. And it feels great. But there is something else that I really want to do with you. It might be silly, but to me it feels way more intimate. Like, husband material intimate.”

“What is it?”, Laxus asked.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to, but I would like to ride.”

Laxus frowned.

“Never mind”, Bickslow said quickly.

“No. I…”, Laxus began. He tried to sit up and remembered he was tied to the headboard.

Bickslow moved up on the bed and undid the knot, letting him go. Sitting back on his heels, Bickslow avoided Laxus’s gaze.

“Sorry for ruining the mood.”

Laxus sat up and wrapped his arms around Bickslow. He realised first then that Bickslow was blushing. It wasn’t just a flush from the sex. Bickslow was actually fully deep red blushing. Since when did he even have a sense of shame? Placing one hand on Bickslow’s cheek, Laxus felt just how warm he was.

“Why would you hesitate to tell me that?”, Laxus asked bewildered.

“Because I am not a bottom”, Bickslow said sourly.

Laxus’s frown only deepened.

Bickslow sighed in frustration and rested his forehead against Laxus’s shoulder. “That’s so stupid. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not. I don’t think so at least. I am just not sure what that is supposed to mean. Do you want to bottom or not? Because I would be happy to switch if you want that.”

“It’s not about that.”

“What is it about, then?”

Bickslow sighed again. “Nothing. Not really.”

Laxus put a hand under his chin and urged his head up. Meeting his eyes, Laxus shook his head. “I don’t understand, but I want to. What do you mean?”

Bickslow averted his gaze again. He shook his head as well. He could hear his pulse in his ears. He was so embarrassed. This was so stupid. It didn’t even make any sense. And he knew that. He knew better.

“Bickslow?”, Laxus asked worriedly.

Bickslow looked back at him. Laxus seemed so concerned, so bewildered. It really made no sense. Bickslow huffed at himself in annoyance. He turned his back to Laxus. He took the strong arms and wrapped them around himself. Leaning back, he rested in that safe embrace. Because it was safe. Laxus was safe. It was fine. What was he even worried about? What did he expect to happen? Laxus to disrespect him? To think less of him? Not fucking likely. It was stupid. He felt so stupid. He clenched his jaw.

“There is this image, this expectation. In some places, there is this history of gay culture that is really toxic. Midi is like that, so I guess it’s something I’ve internalised. There are ‘real men’ and ‘that kind’. That kind want to be fucked by real men. Usually, the real men would be the soldiers, sailors, builders, the truck drivers. That kind are designers, dancers, you know the stereotypes. That kind are sissy, girly, which is of course seen as a bad thing. Real men are the opposite. I know that it is toxic masculinity applied to homosexuality. I know better. I do. But…” Bickslow rested his head against Laxus’s chest and closed his eyes. “It’s so stupid. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not stupid. You feel emasculated. I get it.”

Bickslow glanced up. “You do?”

Laxus nodded. “I have never been very religious. I did not fear my sexuality on the basis of sin and virtue. I feared it because I was taught not to be weak, and obviously being gay must mean that I am weak.”

“Bullshit”, Bickslow said at once.

“Exactly.”

Bickslow chuckled. “Look at us, two men scared to shit of not being manly enough. How fucking pathetic.”

“It’s not. I think there are a lot of men who feel that way”, Laxus contemplated.

“Probably.”

Laxus ran a hand trough Bickslow’s hair and kissed his neck. Bickslow hummed in response. He turned his head to the side to expose his neck more. Encouraged, Laxus kept pressing his lips against the warm skin. Bickslow shifted in his embrace. He took Laxus’s hand and led it down to his cock. Stroking steadily, Laxus enjoyed the soft moans Bickslow gave. He licked Bickslow’s ear and Bickslow shuddered.

“I love you”, Laxus whispered.

“Why do you always say that during sex?”, Bickslow asked breathlessly.

“Not always”, Laxus teased.

“Often”, Bickslow chuckled.

Laxus smiled against his neck. “Because you are so beautiful when you are horny. I love hearing your voice like this.”

He firmed his grip and Bickslow groaned. He was still blushing over both ears, or maybe again. It didn’t really matter. He knew the most important thing. Laxus was right there, and he was willing. Bickslow knew what he wanted, and he wanted it now. Like hell he would let some stupid stereotypes get in his way. There was no real man and no that kind in their bed. It was just them, two men, Laxus and Bickslow, both so in love, and both so very aroused. He took a hold of Laxus’s wrist and removed his hand.

“Fuck me. Right now.”

“I thought you wanted to ride?”, Laxus asked.

Bickslow turned around and lay down on his back, pulling Laxus over him. Laxus followed his lead, getting on top of him. Seeing Laxus over himself, lust written all over his face, Bickslow arched in arousal. Laxus shifted down a little further, between his legs, and he felt the tip of Laxus’s dick nudging his scrotum. His desire was absolutely aflame. Laxus pressed his dick between Bickslow’s butt cheeks and moaned.

“Oh fuck. Fuck me. Just fuck me”, Bickslow rambled, urging his hips down.

Laxus placed one warm hand on his inner thigh and Bickslow whined. He was so needy. He didn’t care if he looked like a mess under Laxus. He just wanted more! He searched for the lube and found it had fallen to the floor. He groaned in frustration. Laxus huffed a laugh and hurried to retrieve it. Back between Bickslow’s legs, he opened the cap and squeezed out a generous amount.

“Just go for it”, Bickslow urged.

“Are you sure?”

“Yea. Come on”, Bickslow urged.

Laxus stroked the lube out over his cock. Then, he steadied himself against Bickslow’s ass. Bickslow took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, relaxing his legs, his entire body. Laxus slid into him and he yelped.

“Did I hurt you?”, Laxus worried.

“No. Move. Fuck me hard”, Bickslow said impatiently.

Laxus set his feet against the mattress and thrust against him. Bickslow moaned aloud. Encouraged, Laxus picked up his pace. He paid careful attention to Bickslow’s reactions, trying to find any signs that what he was doing was good. Bickslow just kept urging him on. Laxus leaned down and held Bickslow tight while he kept moving. Bickslow’s hands came up to stroke over his back. Laxus caught Bickslow’s earlobe between his teeth.

Bickslow whined. “Laxus. Oh Laxus.”

He dug his fingers into Laxus’s shoulders and held on for dear life as Laxus thrust deep into his body, fucking him like there was no tomorrow. Laxus groaned into his ear like an animal, grunting and snarling with the effort to fuck him fast and hard. Bickslow gasped in response.

When Laxus jerked his hips forward in impatient snaps, Bickslow’s breath hitched. He held his breath instead and went quiet, paying attention to every sensation. Every movement felt more intense, more powerful. Laxus was heavy on top of him, but it didn’t bother him in the least. To the contrary. It was so sexy to be under Laxus like this, to feel him move. Laxus pressed into him and shook, spilling in his ass.

Laxus huffed hot breaths against his neck before easing out. Bickslow felt the cum running out of his ass. He moaned in arousal. Reaching down, he took himself in hand, but Laxus quickly removed his hand. Laxus scooted down and wrapped his lips around Bickslow’s cock, sucking him. Pressing two fingers into Bickslow’s ass, Laxus used the cum as lube and massaged his prostate. Bickslow was completely overwhelmed. He pulled at the sheets under him, rolling his hips with little to no control.

Laxus hummed around Bickslow’s cock and he shuddered in orgasm, spilling in Laxus’s mouth. Laxus pulled away and swallowed. The taste still left something to be desired, but it was so sexy to be allowed to do this, to swallow Bickslow down. He no longer cared if it was normal or not. He felt proud every time. He made Bickslow cum, and his reward was this, the proof. He licked any stray cum off Bickslow’s hips, and finally removed his fingers.

Bickslow chuckled in elation. “Holy fuck.”

“You can say that again”, Laxus agreed. “That was, erh, unexpected.”

“Yea. I know”, Bickslow sniggered.

Laxus lay down next to him and wrapped an arm around his mid. “Are you okay?”

“Okay? Are you kidding? That was a million times better than I would have thought.”

“I’m glad”, Laxus smiled.

Bickslow shook his head. “I should just have told you right away.”

“Hm”, Laxus made.

“What?”, Bickslow challenged.

“To think you still have things to learn. It shocks me every time.”

Bickslow picked up the nearest pillow and threw it at him. Laxus laughed heartedly.

“Fuck you.”

“Be my guest.”

Bickslow turned to Laxus entirely and pressed his nose against Laxus’s chest. He sneaked his leg between Laxus’s, wrapped himself entirely in Laxus.

“I love you. You don’t even know. I love you so much. I trust you so completely. I didn’t even know that was possible.”

“I know what you mean. I never imagined I would feel this comfortable with someone, this happy. I can’t wait to marry you.”


	28. In Blue

In true Midi fashion, Laxus and Bickslow got married in their home. The officiant was a strict looking man in his fifties. He disapproved the lack of a carpet, so they spread out one of the camping mats at the foot end of the bed. It was still something to frown about, but good enough to move forward. Laxus was nervous when he knelt down in front of Bickslow. Bickslow took his hand and winked at him playfully.

Bickslow looked so pretty in the blue coat. It was richly decorated with golden thread. The royal blue matched his hair almost perfectly, and the gold only drew more attention to the shimmer on his eyelids. Make up was another reason for the officiant to frown it seemed, but they didn’t care. Bickslow wanted to don the coat and wear the glitter, and so he did. Valuing their traditions, Gajeel had made the rental fee for the fine coat his wedding gift to the couple. Laxus made do with his one and only suit. Since he was Fiorean it was apparently acceptable for him to break the theme. At least his tie was blue, even if it was a dark blue.

Holding hands, they followed the instructions of the officiant and prayed. It was the fourth time that Laxus prayed. He prayed for Bickslow’s happiness and he prayed to be able to provide for them. He prayed that everything would work out, that they would be okay. He could hear the guests arriving behind the closed door. He prayed for Bickslow’s mother.

When he opened his eyes again, he saw that Bickslow was done already. The officiant gave Laxus an approving nod before leaving the room.

“Overachiever”, Bickslow teased.

“I just had some thoughts to pray on”, Laxus defended.

“Come here, Baby”, Bickslow smirked.

Scooting closer, Laxus wrapped his arms around his husband and kissed him. He had to remind himself not to reach up and run a hand through the soft blue strands. He didn’t want to ruin Bickslow’s hair style. His hair had a mind of it’s own and it took long enough to tame it this morning. Daring a little glance mid kiss, Laxus marvelled at the glittering eyeshadow. It was so bold, so much, but muchness just fit Bickslow so well. Stroking a hand over Bickslow’s cheek at least, Laxus finally broke the kiss.

“So that’s it? We’re married?”

“Yea. We are.”

“Nice.”

Bickslow burst into laughter. “Nice? Laxus! Nice?!”

“What?!”, Laxus defended.

“You’re so adorable”, Bickslow sniggered.

Laxus pouted a little at that. He had never been called adorable before, and he wasn’t sure if he felt more annoyed or happy about it. Bickslow kissed him and he grumbled a little. Happy it was.

“Shall we?”, he asked.

“Lets”, Bickslow agreed.

Getting up, they held hands and opened the door. They were welcomed into their living room with cheers and whistles. Smiling over both ears, Bickslow led Laxus out of the bedroom to greet everyone. Lucy and Levy were there with Gajeel. Bayley came too, and Markus and Edward. It was a lovely little group. Everyone wore at least one blue item. Lucy had made sure of it. She had also secured plenty of jam squares and pastries. Bayley had provided booze to wash it down. Anything above forty percent was fair game. They cheated a little and offered soda as well. Levy never drank, and whether the officiant agreed or not, traditions were supposed to evolve over time.

Levy and Lucy came up to them and held out a little blue box with a neat ribbon on top.

“I know it’s not customary, but we wanted to give this to you in person”, Levy smiled.

“How dare you”, Bickslow teased.

“Open it”, Lucy urged.

Untying the blue ribbon, Bickslow opened the box and found two slender gold rings inside. He looked up in awe. “Guys...”

“Try them on”, Levy urged.

“I hope we got the size right”, Lucy agreed excitedly.

Setting the box aside, Bickslow took the rings out and gave the larger one to Laxus. They tried them on and experimentally twisted them before nodding.

“Perfect”, Bickslow grinned. “How the hell?”

“I’ve got sources”, Levy smirked.

“You mean you guessed and got lucky”, Bickslow teased.

“Potayto, potahto.”

“Thank you”, Laxus said sincerely.

Bickslow pulled them both into a big hug. Levy and Lucy each rubbed a hand over his back.

“You’re welcome. A little bit of Fiore here and there doesn’t hurt.”

That was the last straw. Their officiant wished them luck, took the bottle of booze set aside for him as per tradition, and left. Taking a sip of whiskey, Laxus smiled to himself. He glanced over when he noticed the door open again and nearly choked. For a split second, he thought he was seeing a ghost. Without excusing himself, he left Bickslow’s side.

“Gramps? What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to crash your party. I just wanted to wish you luck. It’s your wedding. I couldn't stay away.”

“Come in”, Laxus invited.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, of course. You’re family”, Laxus nodded.

Makarov closed the door behind himself and smiled weakly. “I heard that you aren’t living with your father any more. I’m sorry I’ve been…” He shook his head, unable to finish his sentence.

“It’s fine.”

“Does your father know that you are getting married?”, Makarov wondered.

“I don’t know”, Laxus shrugged. “I don’t care.”

Makarov nodded a little. “I am happy for you Laxus.”

“Thank you.”

“So, where’s the lucky bride?”

Laxus felt his heart sink into his stomach. His grandfather knew he was getting married, but he didn’t know to whom. Steeling himself, Laxus drew a slow breath. Fuck it. Let him know. Let him leave. Laxus didn’t need him. He had a new family now.

“I am marrying a man. His name is Bickslow and I love him.”

“Oh, I see. Bickslow, hm? A unique name. I like it.”

Relived, Laxus exhaled audibly. He would have hoped that his grandfather could take it in stride. Makarov had never been the judgemental type. They just hadn’t talked since…Well, it had been a long time.

“Come. Let me introduce you. Bickslow!”

Bickslow turned around, and upon spotting the elder at Laxus’s side, put his glass down. He straightened his back a little and came over.

“This is my grandfather, Makarov. Gramps, this is my husband, Bickslow Dreyar.”

Bickslow and Makarov shook hands. “A pleasure to meet you, Mr Dreyar.”

“The pleasure is all mine, Mr Dreyar”, Makarov said playfully. “Don’t let me interrupt you, though. I will mingle. We’ll talk later.”

Nodding, Bickslow smiled wide. He watched the elder walk over to the buffet and pour himself a drink. Glancing at Laxus, he saw just how close to tears Laxus was. It was rare to see Laxus so moved. Kissing him on the cheek, Bickslow whispered against his ear so no one else could hear.

“You have family after all.”

“I didn’t even tell him”, Laxus whispered back. “And he came anyway. He kept track of me all this time.”

“He seems sweet.”

Laxus nodded a little and cleared his throat. “He is.”

“Are you ready to meet our guest of honour?”, Bickslow asked softly.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Taking his hand, Bickslow led him across the room. Laxus could tell whom they were approaching long before they closed in. She was an elegant figure, tall and dignified. Long blue hair framed her face like waves of the ocean, and ruby red eyes looked out over the gathering with keen interest. Bickslow’s mother.

“Whatever you do, call her by her first name. We don’t have last names in Midi and Mom still isn’t over the fact that we were given one by the state. It’s Malena. Just Malena.”

“Oh, okay”, Laxus nodded.

He was incredibly nervous. This might be the only chance he ever got to connect with his husband’s mother. This moment was so important. He really didn’t want to mess it up. Walking up to her, he held out a hand.

“Malena. It is an honour.”

“Oh don’t be so formal. Come here and give me a hug, Son.”

Malena urged him into a hug and Laxus very softly returned it. She seemed so fragile, all slender and pale. She smelled of hospital and moisturiser. Bickslow chuckled at Laxus’s hesitance. When Malena let go of Laxus, he gave her a crushing hug and she smiled over both ears. Taking Laxus’s hand in her left and Bickslow’s in her right, she gave them both a squeeze.

“I am glad you finally found a man with a little sense.”

“Gyha. Yea, me too”, Bickslow agreed.

Turning her attention to Laxus, Malena met his eyes with an intensity that made him tense up. Now he knew where Bickslow got that soul piercing stare from. It was a little intimidating when it came from Malena. Laxus felt like he was being evaluated, and Malena could see everything, his very first memory, his current thoughts, and everything in-between.

“I would say take good care of Bickslow when I am gone, but I already know that you will.”

“Of course”, Laxus nodded. He wasn’t really sure he followed.

Malena smiled at him knowingly. “Bickslow told me what you did for him. You dropped out so he doesn’t have to. You have a strong hand, I can tell.”

“Thanks?”, Laxus tried. He figured the hand comment was a good thing.

“No. Thank you. Hold him on the day of my death, yea? He will need you.”

“Mal”, Bickslow complained.

She shrugged a little and let go of his hand. Instead taking both of Laxus’s, she looked down at him expectantly.

“Tell me a little bit about yourself. Bickslow said you met because he tutored you.”

“Ah, yea. I was failing mathematics”, Laxus admitted.

“And you didn’t want to repeat a year”, Malena nodded.

“Yes. I would have lost my spot on the team if I had to repeat.”

“Oh? What team?”

Laxus felt really awkward, standing here holding his mother-in-law’s hands. Different traditions, he figured. He did his best to seem calm and answer her questions.

“Football. I was the quarterback.”

“Is that so?”, Malena chuckled. Looking between the two of them, she began laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“You two are such a stereotype”, Malena said gleefully.

Bickslow grinned and stuck his tongue out. “I know right? But hey, every stereotype needs its fairytale.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)  
> Any feedback is always appreciated


End file.
